Question about child support?

Question

Is it better to file with dept of social services or go with a lawyer? I am going to apply to the state 1st and if things are slow, get a lawyer. Do you think I should tell the father? He has offered nothing, the baby is now 9 weeks old. I have paid for everything up until now. Also, he works w/ his family and they have no knowledge of this. he told me he didn't want to tell them right now b/c then they would want to give money that they don't have. Everything is invested in their restaurant. Also, if he pays cs and has visitation and wants to take the baby somewhere. What can happen if I can't get in touch w/ him to see how the baby is. He's not a reliable person. Could I call the police if I had concerns?

fyi, we were not married, and both wanted this baby. but he bailed when i was 6 1/2 mos preggo. i was giving him a chance to do the right thing, but he barely ever calls to check on us and has only been over a few times. he has never offered to babysit or buy diapers etc... he knows i have no family here. i do have a good job though, but i think he's trying to get out of this scott free..

Answer 1

When you apply for aid from your state, usually they will make the contacts and attempt to get the child support. Mainly, they are helping you and they want him to pay them back. So go there first. Get the advice that they offer. If he pays child support, he probably will get visitation, but he would probably get it anyway if he went before a judge. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about that unless a legal matter takes place that prevents him from visitation. As for his family, that may turn out to be the best thing for you because they will probably keep him in line where the baby is concerned. Them finding out is his problem, not yours. He made the bed, now he must lie in it.

Answer 2

Here is what I would do in your shoes and my oldest 2 are from a different daddy then the one on the way. So I have some knowledge in this area since the ex has not paid his cs in over 6 years and is $45K in debt to me right now. First you open the case with the Dept of CS in your town but know that you do need to keep on them for them to work for you. If your childs dad works under the table for his family get as much info as you can about it to give it to them so that they can help as much as possible. Next go file for custody at the court house and due to your child being so young more than likely they will only give him supervised visits until the child is a little older but in order for the cs agency to determine the correct amount to charge him they will need to know how often he has visitation with your child and even though it sounds hard once it is all done it will be so well worth it for you.

Answer 3

If you can afford an attorney, get one, if you can't afford an attorney, still get one. You need to resolve this once and for all. Get all the issues out on the table. Get a female attorney. This is nothing to mess around with. This is not the time to play "nice". He's already shown you what he's made of. Demand everything, give him nothing. He's the type that will be a pain in your butt down the road. Use everything you can against him to limit visitation. He will eventually just try to use your child to hurt you.

The poster above gave some incorrect information. You can put ANYTHING in the custody papers. You can put that he can't smoke, drink, or have guests of the opposite sex after a certain hour. Put everything you think he might do that would, that you wouldn't want him to, and make sure that's in there. Then when he violates any of them, he will be in contempt. But keep in mind, that whatever you have written in there for him, it will also apply for you. So, if you're a partier, don't go there.

Answer 4

First off the best advise I can give if he wants out scott free let him dont worry about the child support seriously its not worth the heartbreak in the future. but if you are determined then dont go through the state they will take your support skimp off the top for fees and then some go straight to a lawyer and he will give you what he is asking in support and then if hes good go after the father for his fees seperately. The othr thing is that if visitation is enforced as in he asks for it and the courts tell you you haver to do it then you have the right to have a contact number but he will probably get the baby every other weekend and certain holidays and although you can have his contact information after the first few tims he can have it in the papers that you are only aloud to call once a day and you will not be able to dictate who he can and cant have the baby around or where he can or cant take the baby as long as he doesnt put the baby in harms way. And you can cvall the police like they say above but the police will tell you it is a civil matterand that they cannot get involved. and just another note child support and visitation are 2 seperate entities so if he doesnt pay you still have to let him have the baby if it is written in papers. So he could actually have whats called a bench warrant put on you for it. Sorry for the bad news but trust me it sucks to deal with so I say let him go scott free!

Answer 5

I would file throught the state, it can take a while but you get back pay so I would not worry. If his family doesn't know about the baby, chances are he won't even want to see your child much less take him from you. You can go to court and make sure that you have full custody, you can request supervised visits if you feel that its needed, and yes you can call the police, but the only way they will do anything is if he is breaking the visitaiton orders, otherwise they will say "well he is the father". Get legal assistance before filing for child support.

Answer 6

you said you have a good job so im guessing your not applying for aid from the state. if you apply for any assistance from the state then they will keep the child support topay the state back for the assistance they give you.if you can afford to hire some agency to go after the support then that would be best. the state takes a long time at least in arizona it did.i applied for assistance when my baby was 2 and they went after the father and now she is 15 years old and finally getting child support. im not on assistance now so i do recieve the money and he had to pay 28,ooo in back child support to the state which i dont understand because i was always working and supporting my child and then a year ago i had another baby(15yrs later) and i was on assitance for a while and thats when they nailed her dad and as soon as i got off assistance they started sending us the money but not any back pay.

Answer 7

apply through the state. they will get an order for support and you won't have to pay an expensive attorney. it usually takes up to about 6 months for them to get an order (from my experience) unless you are on some form of welfare (my gf's experience) which only took them about 3 months. a private attorney can get it done much quicker (as soon as the court has an open date for a hearing, usually about 30 days) but will also be costly to you....although they can attempt to recover their fee from the other parent, you still have to pay them up front. child support court does not handle custodial or visitation issues. if the father wants visitation then he would have to file a separate case (although it may be the same case number) in family court, unless you come to an agreement on your own. if you come to an agreement on your own, i would still suggest filing the agreement with the court so there are no arguments about it in the future.

Answer 8

You need a lawyer to help you make sense of the confusing process. You can't turn your baby's dad into a responsible person overnight, but his parents might surprise you.

Laws vary in different areas, so the only advice that's real is from an attorney where you live.

Answer 9

Go through social services first. They typically can get things done and get the standard child support enforced--go here for an idea of what your baby is entitled to

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

Also, visitation and child support are completely unrelated issues--he can pay support and never see the baby or he can be behind on his payments and he is still entitled to his visitation. The judge will layout visitation if the two of you can't agree to your own terms. And if you feel that he is irresponsible or will take the baby away from you then ask that the visitation be supervised.

Answer 10

you apply through the state.. if he isnt on the birth certificate they will set a date for paternity. they start support on the date that child support files for that court date. i wouldnt waste your money on a lawyer quite yet. Child support services take care of mothers pretty well. About the whole worrying about visitation, you should request that he starts with supervised visits...tell them that it makes you uncomfortable that he is not very reliable and hasnt been there and you want to make sure your child is safe and well cared for while he is with him. If they dont grant your request than i would look into if a lawyer can help you. i totally understand what you are going through and wish you the best of luck!