I found out my wedding ring was bought for a previous girlfriend before I was even in the picture. I never picked this ring out, it was just presented to me, it really was not my style but at the time I was OK with it. Had it reset a couple of times but. now after 18 years of marriage I really want to pick out my own. Husband can't understand why. To him a ring is just a ring. Now it's become a sore topic, I can't get him to go into a jewerly store, he just does not understand I want him involved in this.
2007-12-20 15:14:15 · 27 answers · asked by Marie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, I would - if he doesn't get it, then he's just clueless, sorry - 18 years? that's really sad - GOD, woman I'd just buy myself a huge rock now and put it on his credit card, really... but he needs to be showing you something for all these years, that's just so cheap and petty. If he doesn't get it, then maybe he never will- but they aren't like us. I'm so sorry - I hope he wakes up one day.
2007-12-21 04:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You've been married for 18 years and he's reluctant to buy you a new ring?! That's crazy. Even if you had absolutely NO problem with your ring, it would still be perfectly normal for a woman to want to "upgrade" her ring after 18 years of marriage. Usually the upgrade comes after 20 years so if you could hold out 2 more years......
But still, the point is that after being married 18 years, he should want to please you in whatever way makes you happiest. I can't believe he doesn't understand this issue. That ring is tainted for you and always will be. I would feel incredibly hurt to know that the ring he presented to ask you to commit the REST OF YOUR LIFE to him was actually bought with another woman in mind!!! I mean, how special does he think that makes you feel when he couldn't even be bothered to pick out a new ring that fit YOUR style. It's lazy, inconsiderate, and plain RUDE. He should be ashamed of himself & even more ashamed that after giving him 18 years of your life, he can't be bothered to even walk into a jewelry store to look at new rings for you.
2007-12-20 17:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt many women would want a ring selected for (and possibly by) some other woman, it makes you feel second best.....but the time to complain has long past. Evidently the ring is meaningless as a symbol of your vows to both you and your husband. Many people replace or reset their rings after several years, or they buy a triple-stone, anniversary, or a right-hand ring that they wear in addition, or instead of, their band. I say get whatever you want and wear it since your husband thinks a ring is just a ring, why should he care?
2007-12-20 15:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since its been so long that you've had it it really is yours and you shouldn't even consider it ever being someone else's. I mean he gave it to you in the end. I can't believe that your husband told you about it being for someone else (if that was the case). But hey i can also see your point of wanting a new ring. Why don't you just tell him that you would really like a new ring as an anniversary, birthday, or Christmas gift and look at it that way, not as replacing the crappy one he gave you. I'm sure it just makes him feel like a dog that you don't really like the ring he gave you, so flip the situation to a positive one.
2007-12-20 15:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by designer K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will never understand why. Bottom line is, that ring was picked out for someone else and you more than likely weren't even thought of when he bought it. Thats wrong. You need a new ring that you can both pick out together, to make it "yours" and not the ring that was meant for another woman. Good luck!!!!!!!! I hope you get a new one!
2007-12-20 15:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The way I would look at this is he wasn't thinking about you when he bought that ring. He was thinking about the other girl that he was with at the time. If I were you I would definitely want a new ring.
2007-12-21 01:25:05 · answer #6 · answered by sije823 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O yes i would want a different ring!
Men will never understand this, This is awful.
Try and explain it to him, say something like "imaging if you was in my shoes, if i'd bought a ring for another boyfriend then given it you" How would he feel?
Good luck!
I hope you get the ring!
2007-12-20 15:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you expect him to understand that ..when he did not understand it 18 years ago.. he is more practical now.. you are his wife.. he was practical when he was supposed to be romantic..
are you happy together? if I was you and happy I would care less.. (yes I am a man, and I don't think that I don't care because I am a man.. I don't care because love counts more than even thinking about a ring) if he loves you and you love him ...a ring made with paper will do the job...
and don't let other women brain wash you.... (every thumb down I get for my answer will be by a women.....)
2007-12-20 15:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To him it doesn't mattter,but to you it does matter. My advice to you is to tell your spouse your intentions..and then buy what you want. my original set was bought second hand from one of my hubby's friends.. it was a pretty 1/4 carat solitaire and plain band. it didn't bother me... but our rings were stolen(3 years ago) when we moved from our last apartment to our house. I had not worn a ring in three years.
then in november (2007), he bought me a 1/2 carat marquis and plain band. he said it looked to small on my hand. i was quite pleased he bought something for me. i was happy with the 1/2 carat, but he wanted me to pick out something that i liked. So i went back to the place he bought the 1/2 carat marquis and traded it in toward the purchase of a larger stone. i got a 1 carat round, brilliant stone that was on sale for $1899, with all of the discounts I ended up paying less then $700. The IGI certifcate retail value was $3400.. I nearly fainted.
Good Luck.
2007-12-21 00:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by Leslie Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are entitled to it. Have him pick out an anniversary ring and wear that instead of the engagement ring. Like one of those past present future ones so nice.
2007-12-20 16:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by ஐ♥Vanessa♥ஐ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's what makes you happy, go for it! Alot of people wouldnt purchase it because it isnt a "traditional" ring. But what really IS traditional these days anyway? I say if you like it as opposed to a 1 carat round diamond engagement ring, go ahead and get this one because it's what strikes YOUR fancy. Just dont get offended when you show it off as your "engagement ring" and you get mixed reviews from friends/family.
2016-04-10 10:41:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋