okay, please read. i need to know what to do.
i know this guy and im in love with him. every summer, we meet up and kind of have this love fling.
im broken hearted because he doesnt love me back.
he's in love with this other girl that is 10x prettier than me.
he lost his virginity to her and everything.
and whenever i see him.,. i get butterflies.
what should i do ?
should i pursue him ?
im crying, im in love, i need him.
he is what makes me smile... he is what makes me want to live.
hes everything ive ever needed in my life.
ADVICE, PLEASE ?
2007-12-20 14:34:13 · 25 answers · asked by riah. <3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To be honest, you shouldn't be with anyone if you're in that mindframe. It's not fair to make him in charge of your happiness. To say you need him would be really overwhelming to anyone.
Go get yourself a good book and sit down and read it. Go on a hike and smell the pine in the air. Go see a tragic play. Go float down a river in a tube. Go get a little addicted to a video game. Go dancing in a club you've never been to. Go make a new friend at a convenience store.
Basically, go out and live life. Be happy alone. Be happy with yourself. After that, you can invite someone else into that life. And let them be a part of it.
But obsession is never heathy, in any form.
p.s. Guys will ALWAYS find a girl more attractive if she's happy and confident. ;)
2007-12-20 14:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by Nato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't "need" him and if you do need someone else to be happy, then you've got bigger problems. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy. No one can do that forever. I've been in your shoes so trust me, I KNOW how hard it is. I really do. But, you can't make him or anyone else love you back. So, as hard as it is, the only thing you can do is move on and find someone who wants to be with you and loves you every bit as much as you love them and want to be with them. He is out there somewhere and who knows, this guy may decide that he wants you after all.....and he should be so lucky if you're still available for him! If it's meant to be with this guy, it will be. It just may not be the time right now. Don't act like you're only worth anything if he's with you. That makes you look really desperate and is a turn off. I know you love him, but you deserve someone who loves you back.
2007-12-20 14:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I am sorry you are feeling so sad.
Secondly, its importantly to realize that you will get a broken heart at some point in life, thats just the way the cookie crumbles. You will be ok though, and I know that probably hard to accept at this point but you will be. If he is in love with someone else you will eventually find someone who you love and who will love you back. Ask yourself how you feel about him if you feel sad most of the time because you are waiting for him to love to love you then that perhaps not the best relationship. The trick is finding someone who get butterflies when he sees you and visa versa, its tough but when it happen its magic. Love isn't one sided and eventually when you have had enough experiences it will be easier to accept that.
I hope you find someone that gets butterflies when he sees you!
2007-12-20 14:47:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say he makes you smile...but then why are you so sad? I'm guessing you are a teen. In those years it's easy to become attached to a guy for no good reason other than he's attractive and popular. There are other guys besides him, and there are some who will give you attention and love year-round. If you know he doesn't love you back, then stop pursuing him. Just because he doesn't love you doesn't mean no one else will. Don't take it personally. Guys do stupid stuff for no reason. Just move on and stay strong so you can be in a real relationship
2007-12-20 14:41:20 · answer #4 · answered by CSStrong 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friends think he is a jerk and he don't love you.
That's two strikes against you. You shouldn't make someone love you, it should just happen. He doesn't deserve your love. All the butterflies is just an infatuation. When a person is in love, looks help but is not the only thing.
First, burn everything that reminds you of him (pic, cards, letters, gifts etc.)
Do things that you always wanted to do if he held you back.
I know your hurting now but you must be strong.
2007-12-20 14:45:59 · answer #5 · answered by T-Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to get it through your head that you are not really in love with him. From the information it sounds like you're in high school/college. These years are gonna be the best times of your life so don't waste it all on this one guy. You depend on him to give you happiness, when happiness can only come from within you. Don't let emotions get in the way of rational thinking because you're downgrading yourself and you think you do need him. You don't need him and you're a much better person than you think you are.
2007-12-20 14:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by shyguyturbo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but you are not "in love" with him, you have a crush, and you are obsessing about him. I can't say whether HE is a jerk or not, but YOU are acting really over the top about someone who is just having a fling with you and who has made that pretty clear. So, who's the jerk here, the one who is deluding herself and who is fixating on a love object that doesn't give back, or the inanimate love object? Get counseling, please - or drop a tray of ice cubes down your back to snap yourself back to reality. You seem to be very addicted to the whole drama you have created for yourself. Now go find someone who is available, and stop living in a soap opera. Sorry to be so harsh, but you need to step back to see how crazy your whole situation sounds.
2007-12-20 14:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by eldots53 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love will make you do some crazy things. In your case its loving a person who has a significant other. You need to put yourself back together and go on with life. Stop crying over him when their are plenty of men out there. I know its hard to move on but you're gonna have to do it.
2007-12-20 14:47:40 · answer #8 · answered by LIL REDD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are in love? I've known my fiance for almost ten years and we will get married March 09 and honestly he is not the reason I WANT TO LIVE. I think you are obsessed with this guy. He is a jerk. You have self esteem issues and are confusing love with obsession/infatuation. YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE to make you happy sweetie ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. NO ONE SHOULD BE YOUR ONLY REASON TO LIVE. I know people married for 30+ years and they agree with me on this. You can't make someone love you back. Why not give yourself a makeover and treat yourself and forget about this boy. WORK ON YOURSELF. Find a way to be happy without him and soon you will have someone BETTER.
2007-12-20 14:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by happygolucky 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me you are really infatuated with this guy. Actually, borderline obsessed. I think you'd be better of trying to forget about him, since you say he's in love with someone else. How he could be in love with her and still mess around with you doesn't really show he's serious about either one of you. He's playing you, and he's got you right where he wants you. He's got his cake, and you know the rest. You DON'T need him. How crazy does that sound? He's not what makes you smile! You're crying over him!! Stop this madness. Find someone else who truly appreciates you and wants to be with only you! Aren't you worth it??
2007-12-20 14:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by MaknMeCrzy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋