Parents: When would you stop supporting your children?

Question

If they are still in school. i.e, I'm almost 25 working on a masters degree. My parents still support me a lot. I pay my own rent, tuition, and spending money. I live on student loans which is difficult. My parents pay my health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bill, clothes, and give me extra money if I need it. They paid for my undergraduate education and I'm so thankful and appreciative of everything they do for me. Sometimes I just feel so bad especially because of my age. They buy me tons of stuff for Christmas, like probably over a thousand dollars worth of stuff. I feel bad because I can't afford to buy them much (unless it's with their money). Most of my friends are married and some have children. I'm still single and not sure what I want to do after school.

Answer 1

ok this is stuff they wanna do for u they want to see u succeed im sure when u graduate and have a great job u are going to do really nice things for them so if they are financially able and willing to do this let them i hope when my children are in college i can do this kind of stuff for them because i know i would want to

Answer 2

I think as long as you are working towards a worthy goal and your parents are not supporting you grudgingly, then it is fine. These days it takes so much more then a what it used to in order to be self sufficient. I live in Southern California, and there is no way my kids will be able to afford rent, food and utilities even with a roommate! They will
have to have a college education first and save up as much money while they are at home as well. But if they failed to keep up with the education aspect...it would be time for some tough love!

And please don't let the pressure of "all my friends are married and have kids" push you into following them. You are way too young still....when you are financially ready and have a good job, you will be a much better spouse and parent. You won't regret getting your life in order before you add on the responsibilities of a family.

Answer 3

I think you need to pay for your own things. You are an adult and have a good education. I can understand them paying for necessities..but cell phone, clothes and extra money are not necessities.

My parents supported me through college. I got a job just prior to graduating and I am attending graduate classes in the summer...they require 18 months career experience, and I only have 12. I felt very grateful for my parents to support me for so long and be so generous. I think if I was still living off of them I would feel incompetent to be an adult or something.

Answer 4

When you have kids, there's no rule stating you have to support them until they decide to live on their own. As soon as a kid turns 18 they are legally adults. There comes a time when you have to push them out of the nest or else they'll depend on you for everything. After I completed my associates, and started my bachelor's (paid for by student loans), mom paid for almost everything. All I had to pay for was clothes, credit, cell and gas (I used it - so it was my own responsibility). I cleaned her house, cooked dinner for my younger sisters, went grocery shopping in exchange. She seemed to think that was a fair trade, but I felt she was more than generous.

It's your own parents fault if they can't say no to you. You've got a pretty sweet deal. I hope you figure out what you're going to do with that education because it sounds like you're just wasting money. Student loan payments suck.

Answer 5

In your case I would still help to support you too. They are trying to get you through school so you will be able to take care of yourself. You seem very responsible and mature. I would not feel guilty. I would however make sure that they know how much their help and support mean to you. You are working hard towards your goals and you are also paying a lot of your own way. Keep up the good work.

Answer 6

If it is not creating a current or future hardship for your parents, then I don't think they are supporting you unreasonably.

They value education and so helping you with expenses while you continue yours is reasonable.

And if they can afford to lavish you, that is okay as long as you do appreciate it and don't expect it.

The best gift you can ever give a parent is to live you life in a way that they do not ever have to really worry about you, your decisions, or your future.

And once you graduate and get a job, be 100% on your own!

That is your gift to them.

Answer 7

My husband and I have been married for 30 years and have 4 children. They are 28, 26, 23, and 10. Each child is an individual and their needs vary. While some parents are of the mind set to say "you turn 18 and 'bam' you are an adult and we won't support you any more", that is not the way our family operates. In our family, education is very important and we invested money specifically to help our children pay for college. They contributed their share by applying for scholarships and working to pay for books and supplies plus their own personal spending money. Our oldest lived 2 years on campus as part of her scholarship requirements and our second child lived one year on campus since he was going to an out-of-state college he earned a scholarship for. Our 3rd child was a better candidate for our local community college so she commuted (50 miles a day) driving a dependable car that we purchased for that use. Our oldest has been married for 5 years, is a teacher, and has an 8 month old son. We contributed to a part of her living expenses until she moved out of our home and into an apartment with her boyfriend (now husband). She and her family are doing well and she is very appreciative of the support we gave her while she worked towards her goals. Our 26 year old son has struggled for a few years with some health issues. He had melanoma surgery at 17 years old and battles bouts of depression and anxiety. He has lived at home and on his own. When he is going through a difficult time, we support him in any way we can. He has been living at home again, but has a good job with benefits now and will be moving into his own apartment the first of the year. Our 23 year old daughter has gone through her own set of difficulties as well. When she was 15, she met a 35 year old man on line. Before the whole mess was over he had taken all the money she made at her part-time job plus put her credit card over limit. She is struggling to dig out of a mound of debt plus also was diagnosed with PCOS this year so has medical expenses and no health insurance. The economy in our state (Michigan) is poor and she can not find a full-time job so she lives at home and drives one of our cars for the time being. We are an extremely close family, supportive of one another through every step of each other's lives. We have helped our children when the need was there despite their age and will continue to do so. Your parents sound like us. We love our children so much, we enjoy being there for them when they need us, and we know that they are appreciative of the sacrifices we have made for them. We know that one day, their lives will balance out and they will be able to help someone in need.

Answer 8

Take your time...you will not have your parents forever!!! I was 2 0 years old when i moved out...moved back in with my parents at 24 and had my first child at 25 years old...My parents, my mother espically helped me raise my daughter. She is now a very smart 9 yr old little girl and i have my parents to thank for it!!! My daughter also, helped my mother forget about her back problems slightly when she would "babysit" my daughter while i was at work. I moved out again when i was 30 years old and i now live with my boyfriend of 5 years, my daughter and now, a son who is 22 months old. My mother died VERY suddenly at only 64 years old on jan 29, 2006 and just 5 days later, i had my son..If i could turn back time..I would stayed with my parents longer and had more time with my mother. If my kids wanted to live with me into adulthood and they were not "bums", I would have no problem with them doing so, I love my children and i will be very sad when the time comes and they move out!! Family to me is #1

Answer 9

hi I dont know the regulations in the U. S., yet Canadian regulation says that the daddy has to safeguard the new child till she is an person. If the new child isn't with the mum, then no new child help is going to the mum. the daddy could be compelled to pay funds directly to the new child till she is eighteen. If the new child will become pregnant and has earnings from the government, the daddy can supply up making funds, yet he has to pass to courtroom to get it replaced. by ability of how, reckoning on how lots he will pay. it would desire to value slightly extra in criminal expenditures than the entire value of recent child help for the remainder 3 years. if it somewhat is the case, a criminal expert assist you to know to easily leave it on my own. So calculate how lots he's paying in line with month, cases the time last till she is eighteen. If this selection is super, he can fill out the courtroom papers for unfastened, and post the request to selection a courtroom order. He may additionally represent himself at trial, he merely needs to teach she isn't residing with mom. to try this, tell him to call the residing house the place she is at and save the telephone information. He can say he has been calling her there. besides, he would desire to confer with the different relatives member and make arrangments to deliver them the funds. He would desire to deliver the funds by ability of utilising cheque and make valuable he receives the cancelled cheques decrease back. He can then teach he paid the funds. A choose will forgive him no longer paying the ex, whilst he sees he paid the recent dad or mum of the new child as a replace. the funds is for the new child, and is meant for her. he would be conserving with the spirit of the courtroom order.

Answer 10

Well my boys were out at eighteen and that was that - but they always had a home here if they were *desperate*.
Don't feel guilty - you seem decent enough and there is the other end of the line (so to speak!) - just make sure that you look after them in their old age and that will be "payback" enough (and I am *not* just talking about monetary terms here).
In the meantime - enjoy yourself - they wouldn't buy you stuff if they couldn't afford it and they seem to have raised a thoroughly decent and thoughtful child so be grateful for that (I'm sure that they are!).
Best wishes,
Joan.