since i was 15 yo i was with this guy, we were together for 5 yrs engaged for 3 yrs we have 2 gorgous boys together, he was everything i ever wanted and he felt the same, until a week afer my 21st b'day. He told me doesnt love me, without a warning!
He started going out with a 15 yo who was like my sister, after a few days of us breaking up.
we have been broken up for 4 months, and we are still having sex, i say he shuldn't cheat on her but he doesnt care, so why is he cheating on her if he loves her. when he never cheated on me? everyone says he still loves me you can tell by the way he looks at me and talks to me.
I just hate that i try and move on but i cant. i hate that he has put me through so much pain, and yet i still love him more than ever and i dont want to, i just cant deal with anything, and i need to be happy for my kids sake and i dont know how to.
i just want to stop loving him, i tell people im over it, but im really not, i just put on an act...HELP ME PLEASE???
2007-12-20 14:08:01 · 18 answers · asked by angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ive found this article.thought might help.Nway good luck with your journey in get over this guy and hope u will find ur true love in future..
You’ve tried to move forward with your life but you just can't help it, you still love him/her. People have told you “learn from it and get over it” but it’s not as easy as it seems because you feel stuck.
How do you switch off those feelings?
You can’t. If you truly loved him/her you will never stop loving. When you truly love someone (I am not talking about the ego-ridden, selfish controlling, fear driven kind of thing most of us think is love), you never ever get over it. That’s just the way love is.
When we fall in true love, we open ourselves to a part of ourselves that is far much bigger and more powerful than just our mind, will and emotions. But because our understanding of this “thing called love’ is so limited (mind, will and emotions) we attach love to a particular person, someone outside of us. We see that person as a love object instead of a reflection of ourselves, a possession to hold onto instead of a conduit for the expression of the love within us.
This ego-ridden, selfish controlling, fear driven sense of love tends to think and act as if both love and time are elusive or actively evading us. We are constantly searching, planning, manipulating and worrying about how love will stay in our lives. We try to hold onto it: set limits on time to call after a date, when to say “I love you”, when to expect a commitment etc. We are distracted by all the other ego-driven impulses such as jealousy, sense of inadequacy, fear of responsibility, not to mention power control.
When the person goes away, our limited understanding of love tries to explain the void left by that person using our mind, will and emotions. We struggle with trying to make ‘”sense’, will ourselves not to think about the person and control our emotions but all that just ends up in a frustrated effort. Occasionally, our limited understanding tries to get the person back using the same futile attempts and when that fails too, we try using the same limited understanding to try and move on, but with no apparent luck.
What do you do with those feelings of love?
1. Sort out what is true love and what is ego-fear -driven about your feelings.
2. After you've established what is true love about your feelings hold onto that. Don't be afraid of what's in your heart.
3. Do some real inner cleaning up of all the junk that is keeping you in ego-ridden, selfish controlling, fear driven ways of loving. This does require risk in the sense of losing "grip" of what you have been familiar with all your life. But this step in absolutely necessary - no one can do it for you. It is this liberating of yourself that leads to a condition of happiness never before experienced.
With an expanding perspective of love, you will start to draw into your life people who reflect the balance and love you have achieved internally. Depending on where you are at, you will attract (i) people who are also searching for their inner balance/peace, or (ii) people who have already been on that path and found what you are searching for, people who will help and support you through your own journey.
I have had clients who are drawn to a chance meeting with an ex and because they are vibrating a different energy, the feelings are rekindled both ways. In other cases, they call me up and say, I met my ex at such and such a place “I still love/him/her but I do not feel like we are right for each other anymore” and they meet someone else. I have also had clients who try to reach out to an ex but found the other person in the frame of mind where they think and feel they are happier with someone else. But they are not devastated because they understand the nature of love and are confident that they will experience those feelings with someone again.
Don't surround yourself with imagined limitations, and deny yourself the opportunity to experience true love!
2007-12-20 14:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by ogy_takkizawa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 6 billion people in the world, approximately half (or 3 billion) of whom are men. If you simply wanted to count just the males it would take you nearly 300 years of doing nothing but counting -- 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. (it takes approximately 99 years to count to a billion).
Find somebody else.
2007-12-20 14:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by worldinspector 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy needs to be reported to the police! He is going out with a 15 year old? What a scum!
How old was he when you were 15? And why are you still having sex with this creep? Get a clue PLEASE! You have children to care for and be an example to of how to live.
Have respect for yourself and stay away from him, go to court to get support from him and learn to control your sexual behavior (don't have children without being in a committed relationship--marriage).
I strongly suggest you get some counseling, you are not thinking clearly and need someone to assist you in how to cope better.
2007-12-20 14:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only you can change the way you love him apparently he was good for awhile with your fine boys at least you got something good from the time you invested but seriously LOVE IS LOVE just channel the LOVE you have because he blessed you with a family .DO NOT continue to give him freebies if he is with someone else HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE THE OTHER FEMALE. BESIDES WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH A CHILD MOLESTER THE OTHER SHE IS ALL OF 15 YEARS OLD.
2007-12-20 14:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by 2003bf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey ur messed up. if ur movin on then DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM! cause how is that movin on? i dont think u should love him he sounds cheap i believe u deserve so much better! u and ur kids! this guy is messin u up and hes prolly messin the gurl hes with now too. just totalli block him outta ur life for like 2 months. and then ull start to get over him. honey u cant put urself thru this or ur kids. just ditch him. start a new life. a new happy and healthy one. show him that u r strong. good luck
2007-12-20 14:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by Andy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww well girl thats the thing, you can`t help who you fall in love with. But you can fall out of it, takes lots of pain but you can get there! You have to keep your distance, enjoy yourself in your own activities, go out with friends and see other guys, etc. Honestly though it sounds like there is nothing wrong, he loves you back so umm yeah get back together!
2007-12-20 14:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a 15 yrs. young girl... this guy could go to jail ....what is he thinking.... you should stop having sex with him ... you are only confusing yourself.... if this thing is ever going to work ... he has got to put you and your boys first..........he is just playing games with the both of you.... get away from him...Learn to stand on your own two feet.... Good Luck!!!
2007-12-20 14:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not have sex with him anymore. Delete him from your life. You´re so youngto waste your time with this guy. He isn´t a man. He is just a jealous boy. Find another guy, and let the first one know it. This guy doesn´t love you and the worst you don´t love yourself..
2007-12-20 14:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by optcha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him.
And make a list of why this relationship isn't working for you.
Write a list of what you would like to have instead.
Then write what kind of girlfriend you want to be.
This will help you to move on --maybe not immediately, but it will happen.
All my best to you.
2007-12-20 14:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by sweets 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
firstly, it's wrong for him to cheat on you for a 15 yrs old..and you are still having sex with him, GOSH!!..how can you let yourself be a booty call to him..you have your boys to take care of..show your boys mummy is a strong woman..grab hold of your ownself and draw a line between him and you..if he really loves you, he wouldn't cheat on you in the 1st place..
2007-12-20 14:13:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a while to stop loving someone like that you need to just move on and what happens happens
2007-12-20 14:11:55 · answer #11 · answered by Kinley M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋