Should boys have a right to play with (non-dangerous) toy guns!!? I think they should!?

Question

I have been struggling with something frustrating. My sons mother and I have been arguing back and forth abo ut how she thinks that guns pre-dispose boys to violent behavior and by playing with toy guns in thier minds it makes violence with real guns OK. My argument is that violence is born from a violent spirit boys like guns. We will make mashed potatoes out of guns. My MOM banned guns in my house growing up and I am in love with weapons because I am guy. Never killed anybody. I think girls playing house and caring for babies (with no husband in sight) could be the same. No more do girls playing with dolls makes them whores/teen moms, does boys with toy guns makes them a gangster/thief/maniac. My boys should be playing with guns! It's in thier genes!

I am not saying that them shooting real guns and killing people is OK before somebody makes a comment like that. I think they should be allowed to be "manly boys" and not sissified little nancy boys who keep thier fingernails blindinly clean and have an effeminate way about them to make them the perfect boys (almost girls) to thier moms but some limp tissue sissy-willies to women they will meet as they get older.

Why are we raising our boys without backbones!? This may have something to do with the CRY of the modern women "where have all the REAL MEN gone!? Micromanaging thier masculinity is stunting thier growth. A happy boy plays dirty, wild and messy and is gently reigned into civility in time to meet girls.

I think men have a primal kill and eat, king of the hill, dominant nature. Men want to be super heroes, soldiers and policemen. All of these people use weapons to subdue badguys (or some kids enjoy playing badguys and subduing good guys).

I think that playing with toy guns is an outlet for masculine aggression (a lighing laser gun not a bb gun or a slingshot). if my son makes a gun with his fingers his mom is about ready to smack his head off. I am frustrated because if my daughter was rocking a babydoll I would not smack her and ask he what the hell she though she was doing. That babies are for married women not little girls. That would scare the crap out of her and just generally seem out of place. I would just sit back and only be worried if she was a teen who was obsessed with babies or a teen boy who is columbine-level obsessed with guns and knives. A two-year old who gets in trouble for saying "bang" to the bad guy while pointing his fork at the TV is extreme.

I was advised that I should respect her wishes but what about mine? Am I not also his parent??

While girls playing with dolls may prepare them to be great mothers boys playing with weapons may nuture a boys desire to be a protector.

continued.. ready to stand up for his future wife, his community and the weak and defenseless. All weapons aren't guns, sometimes they are a fist to the face of a man insulting his sister, his carrying a drunk female friend home or a brave policeman looking for a rape suspect. Don't look at it so one dimesionally.

Great point Jon. Men, for lack of a better analogy are the watchdogs of society protecting the perimeters where our families live and play. Little boys have a natural desire to want to conquer obstacles, have win or lose contests with other boys and are drawn to tools and weapons. I have always had a very strong curiosity about guns.My parents would have shat thier depends if they knew I owned a gun 9even to this day and I am 30). I am ex-military and tried to get trained for every weapon that they had a class opening. the 9mm pistol, the large semi-auto rifles and the grenade launcher. I don't want to kill people but I enjoy hitting targets like old ladies like to knit. I think my boys should be able to enjoy that and maybe as older boys I will take them to a range and explain gun safety to them and we will start with some small arms. To me shooting is a sport and owning a firearm is a comfort in uneasy circumstances.

I think that my woman would feel safer once I took down someone trying to bash his way in the car or diffused a situation with a guy twice my size trying to strong arm my woman into his van. She is happy with it then but why is she so against it if I am carrying it in the holster out of plain view. Some women are just as uncomfortable when thier man is carrying a big knife for the same purpose. Is it a real fear of someone being hurt or does she feel threatened as if he would turn that weapon against her. I know many woman that encourage thier men to leave ALL weapons at home and then to lock the weapons away and then to keep them out of the house and then restrict his access to them outside the house and then ask someone else to hold them for him and ultimately, the weapon is gone. Why?

This is what I and other men would agree that masculinity is.. not what women HOPE it to be. This is OUR definition who we feel we are.

Protection (police officer/soldier), provision (father), administration (coach), wise (philosopher), strong (marlboro man) fair (judge) and patient (counselor).

Answer 1

We tried real hard to have a play gun free house. It didn't work they played cops and robbers and used their fingers. Or used other toys as guns. We then bought toy guns and told them not to point them at others and not play like you are killing others. It has worked out very well for us. I do have to remind my children when playing with the neighbor boys of our rules, because their rules are different then ours.

PS.....I have boys and girls and the girls like the guns just as much.

Answer 2

I worked day care for 20 years and I know that little boys are just naturally aggressive, and they will use their fingers for a gun (just as you said) if nothing else. It is up to the parent to teach the kid that while their friends won't get hurt while playing with toy guns, they should never touch a real one until they are grown because they do hurt people. They need to be taught the difference between real and make-believe, otherwise they may be at a friend's house and see a real gun and think it's a toy and use it. Do you live with your son's mother? If you are not living together, then what you allow your son to play with in your house is your business, and you can tell him that you have your rules in your house, and mom has her rules, and he needs to follow the rules where ever he is. Don't tell him that you think mom is wrong, just tell him that you have different rules, and he needs to respect the rules in both houses. If you are living together, it sounds like it's gonna be tough. I don't know what to tell you about that.

Answer 3

My Dad taught his daughters to shoot guns as kids. We enjoyed doing it with him, but I can't say I ever thought of a gun as a toy. Now as a parent, my husband has a job where he carries a gun. That being said, they are not allowed in my house. I don't let my kids play with guns. They barely even get water guns! My older two have shot BB guns at camp and loved it, but still no guns in my home.
Why you ask? Nowdays with all the garbage on tv, I think kids view guns as toys. I've never allowed my kids to so much as pick up a stick, aim at a sibling, and yell pow. A gun is not a toy! And pointing it at another living thing shouldn't be part of a game. I'm happy with my husband taking them to a shooting range or other types of things like that, but I never want them to think a gun can be treated carelessly. Aiming at a person and pulling the trigger isn't something I could ever let them do for fun, even if its a pop gun.

Answer 4

I don't like guns either, but there must be compromise. You might be able to compromise with your wife that toy guns aren't ok, but swords are. Or that realistic looking guns are banned, but water pistols and such are ok. We're in the SCA, so there are guys in armour and swords all over the place, and kids are encouraged to learn too. Why is that? Because they are being supervised by grown men and women, encouraged to follow the rules and be sportsmanlike, and everyone is very concious of safety. The big burly guys will often stop in the middle of combat to check with their sparing partner that a blow was or wasn't a "killing" blow. The other week one of the guy's tip off his sword went flying off. They yelled "HOLD" and everyone within earshot stopped exactly where they were. The guys continued, but the chap was no longer allowed to thrust with his sword.
Kids, not just boys, like to be violent. It's an innate human quality. You and your wife just need to come to a compromise on appropriate ways of displaying it.

Answer 5

This was way too long. I quit reading after the first paragraph. I live in a house of hunters. My children have always had toy guns. They were not allowed to point them at anyone. All three of my kids hunt with their father (one girl) and they all know how to handle a gun. Education is the key. They were taught how dangerous guns are and how to be safe with them. They have always handled them responsibly. A gun does not kill people, the person that shoots it does. Having a toy gun is not going to make them criminals. I had toy guns when I was young, we played with them everyday in the summer time. Good luck changing her mind.

Answer 6

I grew up playing with all manner of toy guns. I had an extensive collection of rather sharp pocket knives, several bows with quivers of target arrows, a BB gun and my very own machete.

Guess what? I never mutilated a girlfriend over some bad head, have yet to blow my parents away, I didnt shoot up my highschool (or yours) nor have I killed any Amish kids, and, finally, I havent ever killed a bunch of people at a shopping mall.

Answer 7

I got my first BB gun when I was 5, when I was 7 or 8 I got a pellet gun ( a little more powerful). I was taught that when you pull that trigger, what ever is infront of you will die and that you never point a gun at anything you dont want to kill or destroy. I spent 10 years in law enforcement and have been an avid hunter and gun enthusiast all my life. I taught my daughters how to shoot as soon as they could take a rest on a log and pull the trigger. Its VERY important that parents teach gun safety to their kids and instill a little fear in them. My dad kept a pump shotgun behind the door all my life. When I was a kid, I knew that if I so much as touched that shotgun, my dad would tan my hide. I never touched it. Thing was, I was never curious about guns, like I said, I was taught how to shoot very young, and got to shoot a lot. my curiousity was satisfied. I'ts important to allow boys to express their aggressiveness and not to feminize them. Boys are training to be the protectors that men are supposed to be. Women say they want their sons to be sensitve, but thats not the type of man they want to marry.

Answer 8

I played with toy guns, so did my parents, and their parents and so on. I think it is lack of comunication these days!! None of us turned out to be bad in any way. Your children will be what they want to be when they get older you just have to hope and pray you did your best in raising them! God has a plan for all of us and we cant change that.

Answer 9

you cant be severe??? Little boys shouldn't climb timber, play with toy weapons or try against through fact it makes them serial killers and rapists??? WTF!!! Cowboys and Indians makes rapists...of path why did no longer i see that ?? My daughter loves doing an excellent form of those issues, is she going to be some terrible abused serial killer rapist too??? Your remark on my query (birds and bees communicate with little ones) approximately 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days olds in the netherlands being taught intercourse ed is crap. I appeared it up. sure they have the backside ecu teen being pregnant fee of 8.4% in line with one thousand for women between 15-19 and their user-friendly age for a familiar sexual bump into is 17.7 years previous yet they do very liberal intercourse ed training between 12-15 years of age no longer at age 5 or 6 whilst some little ones could no longer even say the expertise vagina or sexual yet! you're packed with rubbish! pass pass slowly decrease back under your rock

Answer 10

tell the mom to loosen up...its just a toy and they will outgrow it sooner than you think...my boys played with all types of toy guns ie pellet guns, water guns, toy armalites with sounds and lights, name it... now they are grown ups (well, more like teeners) and they are not violent at all and no tendency to kill with guns as others would like to assume when you played with toy guns when you are young...playing with toy guns for a child is like make believe about good guys and bad guys...and most often they are the good guys...