Hello! I'm on a search and rescue team that has a military structure.
Recently a sergeant position opened up and several people applied for it, including myself and a good friend. It was pretty clear that my friend and I were the strongest candidates by far. In fact, most of us thought there was a good chance we'd both be promoted because we both are equally qualified.
I was the only one who got promoted, and I'm now my good friend's direct superior. I know he wanted this position badly... how can I make this situation easier for him?
2007-12-20 14:02:11 · 11 answers · asked by Lauren 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
If you were both strong cadidates, seek his advise from time to time, use him to train other team members, be a leader, not just a boss, help him to advance.
2007-12-21 00:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by joseph b 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the hardest part of any promotion. I went thru the same thing when i picked up corporal in the marine corps. All you can do is act as professional as you can. If he is truly your friend then he will have no problem obeying your orders...as long as you don't abuse your power. I'm going thur this same thing right now in my civilian job. I was recently promoted to Master Firearms Instructor for my job, I'm only 24 so all of the guys in my unit are having a hard time dealing with taking orders from a younger guy. All I can do is not give them any reason to question my abilities by doing the best job that i can. Most of my friends aren't giving me much flax and the one guy that is, all it tells me is that he needs to find a new job. Remember you were picked over him for a reason and a true friend wont hold that against you it should just make him try harder.
2007-12-21 00:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.....There really is no way to make it any easier. What you need to do is realize it's time to step up into that position and lead your soldiers the best you can. At the same time though as hard as it might be for you, you need to be fair across the board to all your soldiers and not let him get away with stuff because he is your friend. I don't recall you saying what branch you are in but if you are in the Army I know you have a DA 4856 (Counseling Form) that you can put your expectations of your soldiers on and should be what you have done already. You will be fine though. Earn ALL your soldiers respect and confidence by showing them you were the right person for the job. And stop thinking you weren't....
2007-12-20 22:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by dustynmill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worrry too much. Keep friendly with your friends. A friendly relationship is very helpful to your post.
Sergeant is similar to team leader. In modern leadership, it is about coaching, i.e. you are helping your friend to improve.
Nevertheless, there are some things you need to care. If anything wrong, you have to handle it on the issue, and don't get to personal. Formal issue must be handled in office whereas personal issue can be fixed outside the office. The important thing is to focus on the issue, event and fact but never focus on person.
You should take some courses on leadership. If possible, you may join the leadership training by U.S. Navy which you can find some detail in http://www.navy.mil
At least, you should read the series of Collins Best Practice
2007-12-20 22:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by giginotgigi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are a ANG AR? The USAF doesn't work that way.
Oh Civil Air Patrol, well just be a decent Sgt and no favorites and he just might make the best #2 a person could wish for.
Before leading one must first learn to follow...
Ret. USAF SNCO
2007-12-20 23:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't bring it up unless he does, and be sure not to change the way you act around him, except of course that he has to follow your orders now. You don't have to become distant or something because you're friends and one of you is the other's superior. You could be less strictly professional toward him when you aren't in front of others, just to show that you don't think of yourself as any better than him now.
2007-12-20 22:14:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was not disqualified. If it cannot handle your promotion, it should request a transfer. On the other hand, mission first. Remember, business before pleasure.
2007-12-20 23:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mephisto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mix it up
Turn off the boss thing when you can
He must do the respect thing when required also
He may have more problems with it than you
2007-12-20 22:08:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to understand that its business not personal they must understand that now your the boss and it is unethical to still carry on a personal relationship
i have had to deal with this myself and it is hard
remember its business not personal if he cant cope you need to make him understand that at work your the boss and you wont show favoritism
SSG ADA
2007-12-20 22:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by adasgt1981 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is truly a good friend then he should understand, you just do your job the best you can and he should fall in line.
2007-12-20 22:06:18 · answer #10 · answered by cmdrbnd007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋