Is it difficult to have a baby and go to school?

Question

I am a newly wed and still a student. My husband is 32 while I am 23,we may want to start a family.Is it gonna be difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?or what/I need advice.

Answer 1

My husband and I were married very young. I was 18 and he was 19. As newlyweds we both worked and went to school. We started our family early and before our 2nd wedding anniversary we had our first child. I was still a college student and working part-time. Our second child was born while I was finishing up my teaching degree. At graduation, my cheering section consisted of my husband, our almost 3 year old daughter and our 7 month old son. He began attending classes with me when he was 8 days old. When he was a bit older, he stayed part of the time with our amazing daycare provider and I would go between classes to nurse him. It is extremely difficult to be a new wife, a new mom, and a college student. I look back on that time and sometimes wonder how I did it. But, it can be done. I could not have done it without a supportive family and an awesome daycare arrangement, a wonderful loving woman who lived about 15 minutes away from my college campus. It took a great deal of planning ahead, focusing on priorities, and not sweating the small stuff. I took a light class load being very careful not to take more than one class a semester that I knew would require a large time commitment. I also took at least one class each semester (my college had Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer semesters) until I was finished. I will admit that after I graduated I was exhausted and planned on staying home with my babies for a year before starting a teaching job. I had no idea I would love being a stay-at-home mom so much. We ended up having another baby 2 1/2 years later and I stayed at home for 6 years before opening my home to be a licensed child care provider, which I have done for 20 years. We added a surprise baby (conceived unexpectedly while I was on birth control pills for 11 years!) when our older kids were 18, 15, and 12. People often ask me if I think I'll ever "use" my college degree by teaching in a public school. I always tell them that I never regret the hard work I put into earning my degree and I think I use my knowledge every day as a mom and child care provider. You can be a mom and a student, but it is hard work.

Answer 2

Yes, its difficult. Even before baby it can be hard. Each time you get pregnant, you are rolling a new set of dice. You really have no idea how your pregnancy will be and how it will affect your life. You don't know if you'll feel fine or you'll be so sick that you hang over a toilet for months. With each of my pregnancies, my memory gets really bad. That won't help you retain what you are learning in class. My sister was so sick, she wouldn't even consider a second child until the first school age.
This isn't always what will happen. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to know that once you become pregnant, your child takes over your body for 9 months. Nausea, mood swings, tender body parts, all sorts of stuff can happen. If you do want to have a child during school, please realize that it could be really hard on you. Not only pregnancy, but the first 6 months after birth, most of us new Mom's walk around like zombies. Sleep-deprivation is rough, especially if you are doing school. You both need to sit down and seriously discuss what could happen and if its worth trying now or waiting till your schooling is done.

Answer 3

You can reproduce for the next 20 years. Your husband can make babies for as long as he lives. What's the rush?

Wait till after you graduate. To do well in school you need to focus on it. Sometimes as a student you need to stay up late studying, sometimes as a student you eat junk food on the run.

When pregnant you need extra sleep--even naps. You must, for the well-being of your baby eat healthy food. Once the baby is born you have to devote your time to it. Nothing is more demanding than a baby. That's life. If it is sick and cannot sleep and you have to take a final the next morning what would you do? Something will suffer.

Who could you trust to take care of your baby while you go to school? Will you have to pay them?

Babies are expensive. What quality of life do you want to provide for your child?

Also, between studying and caring for a baby when are you going to have a minute for your husband, or yourself?

Many marriages go downhill once a baby comes along.

Take a few years to be just the two of you. Save some money. Enjoy your time as a couple. Then have a baby.

Answer 4

you will be tired, you will probably get sick a lot, there will be much discomfort, and everything will be at the worst possible time. Yes, pregnancy by itself is difficult but pairing it with something demanding like that will make it harder. Plus you have to remember that baby will be born before your physical and mental symptoms stop. That baby will need you and (if you want to be that distant... most daycare centers do not accept newborns) being with your baby is the best thing for both of you. It is recommended to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months and there is a reason for that. It is better for your childs physical and mental health to be there with you, at your chest, every time he/she gets hungry. And you can't schedule a baby. you can't schedule the birth by planning the conception, you can't tell the baby when it should feed or when it should sleep. It will tell you what it wants (and letting an infant "cry it out" can cause stress and damage a developing brain).

Answer 5

its kind of hard, but with extra help from your husband and a baby sitter you should be able to do it. my sister (she's 23 as well) had a baby about 6 months ago. she's still in school and it was hard at first she was having major issues with guilt and separation because she felt like she wasn't giving Gavin (her baby) enough attention and love, so think about how it'll affect you because as long as the baby is taken care of and gets at least some time with you pretty much every day, it's gonna love it's mommy. if you do start your family now good luck =]

Answer 6

My mom did it! And she's my hero, she had me when she was 16 and had 3 more children after me and now she's a Registered Nurse and making good money. She had me and got her GED, than after she went to college while she took care of me and my brothers and got her LVN certificate when she was pregnant with my sister. And while we were teens she got her batchelors and is an RN. But she wants to get her Masters now....so she still plans to attend school again. She is my role model because she went through so much in her life and yet she still accomplished everything she went for.

Answer 7

Congratz! I am not married but through out high school...I had to raise a child, work, and go to school. It can be done. As long as you have a good system and childcare. A family member to help out here and there and somewhere safe for child to be while you are in school.

Answer 8

It will be a harder than if you didn't have kids, but I know lots of SINGLE parents that do it, so I am sure with the help of your husband it would be fine. Depending on how long you have left though, I would consider waiting until you graduate! :) Good Luck! and Congrats on the marriage.

Answer 9

It's difficult...but doable. Many people have done it I assure you. :-)