she is all of a sudden really really bad! she hits and she throws fits and everything. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont. she is bad. how do i discipline her.
2007-12-20 12:23:41 · 14 answers · asked by nena 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Sounds like you've just hit the terrible twos! I found with my son that the best thing to do was to walk away from any tantrums and ignore any screaming and carrying on. When he hit/bit/kicked people he was told NO! very firmly and put in a room with no toys in it for 5-10 minutes.
Another friend of mine used to throw her two year old into the pool every time he had a tantrum. Probably not a course of action I'd recommend (although it WAS effective - he stopped having tantrums and carrying on but is now terrified of the water...)
Good luck - remember you're not a bad parent. It happens to all of us.
2007-12-20 12:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by The Kelda 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your daughter is not bad she's two. I have a two year old myself. When she gets into a rage, I stop what I am doing and am there for her. If it means I have to leave the grocery store with a cart full of groceries then so be it. I figure out why she is so emotional and work with her to get through the tantrum. If she's hitting me I hold her as tight as I possibly can so I don't get hurt. But I am there for her.
Think of it this way. When you were going through all the raging hormones after having given birth to her, you were irrational at times. I KNOW I was. How did you want to be treated? Did you want someone to discipline you or just be there for you until you got through the fit?
People confuse discipline with punishment. Discipline is simply redirecting negative behaviour into positive behaviour. Punishment is taking away privileges when the child knows they have done or are doing something bad. At two, there is a fine line because this is the testing age.
Remember your daughter is not bad, take away that word and Iisten to her and I'm sure the tantrums will be fewer.
UPDATE: I just read through some of the other answers and I have to say a tantrum is not good or bad behaviour-your child is trying to communicate with you! My daughter rarely has tantrums because I stop what I am doing and am there for her. I am consistant with my rules. That is the KEY! Ignoring and punishing tantrums makes the tantrums more frequent. Listen to your kids and your kids will listen to you.
2007-12-20 13:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by 10 pts for me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 4 and she is still there. I have a 21 month old and she started early. I just try to find the funny in it all, but not let them get away with stuff they know better about. I try to play as many games as possible(especially hide and seek) with them to keep them busy, and Dora the Explorer helps alot!! I work nights so I'm tired and always cleaning when I'm awake, and I don't have as much time as I'd like for play, but I make the most of it and it really seems to help. I've given up on the corner and time outs.
2007-12-21 03:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her biggest issue right now is frustration. She cannot adequately communicate what she wants and or needs to you and that is the reason for the tantrums...otherwise known as the Terrible Twos.
Rather than discipline at this age focus on giving her the words she needs in a firm and loving manner.
If she throws a cup at you and tosses herself on the floor because it's juice and not the milk she wanted the best bet is to calm her down enough to get her to look you in the face and tell her 'No tantrums...say Milk please Mommy. Milk please.'...know what I mean? If you consistently react in that manner the tantrums will gradually fade out.
And when all else fails you can simply put her in her room and tell her 'when you are done with your tantrum Mommy will play with you again.'. That one works wonders with my 2 1/2 son! It's to the point now that he goes to him room on his own when he gets worked up.
Good luck!
2007-12-20 12:45:40 · answer #4 · answered by Beth S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a children's book called "Hands are not for hitting". It might be something to try. Mostly they hit at that age because they have all these emotions they want to get out and no vocabulary to put to it. What helped with my oldest was to ask her to take a couple deep breaths and then to use her words to tell me what the problem was. Taking the breaths gives her a minute to calm herself down and get a grip on her emotions. She's 5 now, but when she's stressed or crying, I still have her breathe first.
You might try "Kids are worth it!" by Barbara Colorosso.
2007-12-20 18:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by hopebaymama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunately the terrible two's. All I could ever do was to let them have their tantrum, you ignore them and they will stop. The tantrum is because they know instinctively that if they do that they will get their way, because you want them to shut up. Just ignore her and she will give up. Act like she is not there when she is doing that. You can also giver her a time out for her behavior. Don't be afraid to disiple her. She is doing this to test you and she what she can get away with. I know from personal experience that it is so hard to deal with and you want to pull out your hair or her's but it will get better is you don't give in to her. If you do she will know that the tantrums work and to get her way she will continue to do it. I made a few mistakes with my 13 year old when she was young but I learned and made up for it with my 7 year old. 13 year old still to this day asks and asks thinkg I am going to say yes, but my 7 year old, when I say no she accepts it. Good luck.
2007-12-20 12:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by rlm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be kind, gentle, and understanding regardless of how you actually may feel at the moment. She is a baby, and does not know how to vent, so she goes off on a tangent.
You must be sturn and consistent with your discipline. Whatever you tell her, you must follow through with. Don't be harsh, just be firm, and understand she is lashing out to see how far she can lash out. The ball is in your court.
2007-12-20 12:36:37 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Prefect 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what....its all about consistency. Do what you tell her you are going to do, whether that is time out or whatever other type of discipline. You have to do it, no matter what. Get down to her level and keep your voice low and controlled. Then follow through. Can take a few days to see results.
2007-12-20 12:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by makeupguru44 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be firm and be consistant NEVER give in when they throw a fit
do not accept any hitting - be firm pick the kid up and put her in her room and dont let her out until she settles down and tell her so... but only say the very minimum - talking to her is a reward...
typically kids act bad for attention - you MUST give them alot of attention when they are good.
2007-12-20 12:37:57 · answer #9 · answered by MandB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only comment I have is good luck...this is why we call them the terrible 2's...just wait til the awful 3's...be patient....she's not to little for time out either...when you find the answer you like and try it...be consistent...don't give in...just be prepared with a bottle of Tylenol for your headache that will come...but stick to your guns...mine went and goes on time out according to age...1minute for each year...Merry Xmas
2007-12-20 17:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by ~Jenny~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋