my great aunt has metastatic breast cancer and has had it for 1.5 years and people with that live on average 2 years, how do i deal with the fact that i might lose her very soon. ?
2007-12-20 12:12:37 · 18 answers · asked by Luvs2Shopp 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Therapy
2007-12-20 12:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by JayJay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you learn about the grieving process, and knowing that it is going to happen spend as much time as you can with her now. But that goes for anyone we care about, if you care about them let them know, because you never know when something might happen and they are no longer with us.
I don't know if you have heard this song before but it goes like this
"Allie woke up 8am
Graduation day.
Got into a car,
And crashed along the way.
When we arrived late to the wake,
Stole the urn while they
Looked away,
And drove to the beach
’cause I knew you’d want it
That way."
that is the part of it... on graduation day the girl being sung about gets into a car crash and dies. Who would have thought that on a day that was the start on her life at a young age she was going to die. No one really had time to say good-bye, I love you, or you are a good friend or whatever to her.
With knowing that she MIGHT die in the next 6 months, you have time to spend with her. Just because the average is a certain time frame doesn't mean that she will die in that time frame. Maybe she has another 5 years in her. With cancers and death, along with so many other things in life there is so much unpredictiability.
On the other hand do be so obsessed that she has cancer and on average people with that type of cancer live 2 years. My mom has been at my grandmother's side for the last 8 months or so, pretty much never leaving her because she has been really sick. When it because that obsessed It is unhealthy.
another way to deal with it, is start to attend a grief support group. and hear what they have to say, or what they wish they would have done if they knew they would lose a loved one. and after she does pass whenever that time comes, continue to go to that support group or another one if you don't like the first one. but be around others who understand.
Death is a natural part of life. We are here only for a period of time, and then we move on (if you believe in an afterlife), but your life will also go on.....
2007-12-20 20:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Artist Wanna Be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my brother to cancer 4 years ago, in addition to two grandmothers and numerous relatives to cancer in the past 5 years. What you do is to be with them as much as you can, tell them you love them and bring up happy memories, and how they made your life better.
Now, you do not really know how long she may have. Be positive in attitude, it helps a great deal.
Life is finite for everyone, but the thing about cancer is that it often gives you a chance to say goodbye - or at least "so long for now". That is something that I was not able to do when my sister was killed in a car crash at 16.
2007-12-20 20:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start thinking about counseling, spend as much time with her as you can, say all the things that you need to, stop counting time, as this will not help and make you anxious.
Grief has it's own process, you and her have probably gone through bargaining and denial? There are six natural processes to go through, there is no time scale, but just let each come and go, dont hide your feelings.
Take her flowers, so she can see them and smell them, people alway give flowers after people die?
2007-12-20 20:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time with her and talk to her. Share your feelings. She will appreciate that. It is perfectly fine and natural to admit that you are scared of losing her. She'll appreciate your honesty and love.
Take the time to get educated about her breast cancer and find out what her prognosis actually is. She may beat the averages. you never know.
2007-12-20 20:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by concerned neighbor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As candid as this sounds: enjoy her while she is here. Death is simply a part of life. We must live without desire to control fate but rather live expecting nothing and hoping for and enjoying everything. Live one day at a time and don't think about the "then" of when she might be gone. Just be "here" with her now.
It must be hard though...
2007-12-20 20:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds typical, but the only answer I know...pray a lot for her healing/health and for yours and hers acceptance to the cancer as well as spend a lot of time with her and loving her and also keep her as supported mentally and emotionally as possible, been through this with a friend who has FINALLY been pronounced cancer free....THANK GOD
2007-12-20 20:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rainbow Raven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend as mush time with her as possible for the time being.Try not to think about her dying, just love her while she is here.That will also help you when she does pass- because you will know that when she died she died loved.Many people cope with death differently.Therapy helps some, music helps others.Write down how you feel but remember the good times you had with her.That will help most of all.Hope you are OK. (:
2007-12-20 20:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hospice is a wonderful organization that helps families cope with the impending death of a loved one. It is also a free service. They also stay in contact with the families for up to a year or two after death.
2007-12-20 20:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie p 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear about your great aunt,,,,just try and take one day at a time.....try your hardest not to think about what is to come. When the time comes,,,still take one step at a time....time will ease the pain in your heart...but for now,,,spend as much time as possible and listen to worries and needs..and be their for her as much as you can.
2007-12-22 03:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by ReturN tO SenDer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋