I want to be Wiccan, I have studied, but my parents won't approve? I'm 13...?

Question

Can anyone help? Please try to give answers I would want.

Oh, I ought to specify something: I want to know kind of how to tell my parents, and before I do, what I can practice?

Oh, and by 'won't' I mean IF I told them, they would freak. And please, PLEASE, PLEASE, in the name of whatever you worship, answer in a way I would WANT. I WANT to be Wiccan. DON'T say things that put it down.

Again, Baronvon, thank you much. Again, you were the first person with totally helpful information. And yes, I have noticed this seems to not be a great time to post this stuff. Maybe i'll try tomarrow, but i'll keep this one up.

Yes, I have studied. Only the internet, because my parents know every book I own. I decided this last year, to start looking into it. I changed my mind once, but then decided that it's right for me.

Thank you ALL who gave me GOOD, SOLID ANSWERS like Ultraviolet and Baronvon. (Pardon if I spelled your name wrong!) I have to go, but i'll be back on tomarrow... or will I.... I might not... well, anyway, Bless!

Answer 1

Because I'm a lazy Wiccan I'll copy and paste the answer I had to your original post of this question...

If you truly feel that Wicca is right for you, then you don't HAVE to tell your parents that you wish to become one. I'm not saying you should lie to them (you shouldn't), but if it will cause mayhem, then study quietly, be a solitary practitioner, and when you come of age you can join a coven if you so please.

If you need more information about Wicca, the absolute best site is http://wicca.timerift.net- it has a booklist too. And please for the love of all that is good, do not take Silver Ravenwolf's advice and outright try to deceive your parents- the site I gave has a nice long article on why she is a bad person to take advice from.

And don't worry about the "you're just rebellious come to god" people- there seem to be a large amount of them on today.

Answer 2

Okay, I became interested in Wicca when I was 15, and my parents (Catholic) totaly freaked out about it. Considering I refused to get confirmed a few years before, it shouldn't have been a huge shock that I wasn't meant to be a Catholic, but anyways...they made me get rid of all my Wicca books, that I had bought with my own money.
Well, that just made me want it more, so I read everything I could get my hands on about ALL religions, not just pagan ones. I did a simple self dedication to the Goddess and God at 17, and have considered myself a Wiccan ever since.
My spirituality didn't really take total flight until I went to college and grew up. I'm 29, and I still learn something new about my spirituality every day. My parents don't love it, but my mom has admitted her grandma was into tarot and the occult, and there was a lot of talk about witches in our faimly line, from Ireland. So she's more accepting, but she still treats it as a teen phase sometimes.
It became another issue when I had a daughter. My husband's an easy going Methodist, so I decided she could be baptised there, but her dress had an embrodiered Goddess (in the form of Mary), and I sewed special herbs in the hem. OMG my mom threw a fit and I think (although I have no proof) that she snuck my girl over to the Catholic church and had her baptised the "right" way.
Okay, to the point! You are only 13, you do not need to make ANY firm relgious decisions right now. I have a sneaking feeling that you think the spells are mysterious and neat, and being Wiccan will make you special and different. Real Wicca has very, very little to do with spell casting. Wiccans are normal people and the ones who run around in black cloaks, covered in silver pentegrams, screaming about the burning times, are some of the biggest posers/fakers you will ever meet. Avoid!!!
Also, no real Wiccan in their right mind would teach a minor anything without having a serious disscussion with your parents, and even then most will only do it at 18. They should not charge you for being a mentor, but there are a lot scam artists out there. Just enjoy being a kid, don't be in such a hurry to grow up, if you are meant to be Wiccan, the Craft will be there for you when you are an adult.

Answer 3

You have gotten some very good answers from our fellow Pagans, who have told you not to lie to your Parents about this. As well as a very good answer from Hestia's Priestess, who said that you are under your parent's authority until you turn 18.

We will say this about your situation, though;
While you should do as your parents tell you, you should talk to your parents about this, if this is truly the path that you wish to follow.
Any decent coven that would have you will want to talk to you AND your parents before accepting you as a member. They will want to make sure that your parents understand and are okay with your decision.

Do not do this behind your parent's backs. It will only work against you. Truth gives us strength while dishonest weakens us. Try to find a pagan discussion group in your area and take your parents with you. Many of their fears and questions can be answered there as well. Most of those are held at local metaphysical book stores or at a local Unitarian Universalist church. The UU may even be a venue that your parents may accept you going to.

But be careful when talking to other solitarys. Some are not what they seem or claim to be. Some use Paganism for darker purposes and they give us all a bad name.

Here are some of the important facts that you can give your parents;

1. Pagans/Wiccans do not worship or believe in the devil or demons.

2. It is a religion based in nature and the natural cycles of life and the universe.

3. While we do not follow the Christian God, we do believe in both the God and the Goddess.

4. We do not cast spells to do harm. The Witches Rede prohibits us from doing so ---"An it harm none, do as ye will"
"None" includes ourselves.

5. Contrary to what the right-wing Christians want to tell us all, the Pagan religions are the fastest growing religions in the world.

6. Even the US military has been on the hunt for Pagan chaplains because of the growing Pagan/Wiccan community who are Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines.

7. Pagans accept that not our path is not for everyone. We see theology like a wheel. The hub is the universal constant that Christians would call God. The spokes are the many religions.
All different paths to the same goal. We respect that no one path is right for everyone. Some people need what Judeo-Chritian beliefs have to offer them while others need what Buddism has to offer, and others still what Paganism has to offer, and so on and so forth, through all of the world's religions.
Many Pagans come from Christian backgrounds because that religion did not answer our questions or fulfill our spiritual needs. And while that religion may fulfill the needs of many, they do not do so for everyone. If it did, then everyone would already be on that path.

8. Pagans do not go out hunting up "recruits" or converts. We only accept those who actively seek us out and truely desire to be a part of our community. And we are not always so easy to find.

9. As stated before by others, most covens will not accept members who are under 17 or 18. In many covens, that is because there are many things that are secret and must be kept so because of the tradition of secrecy. That is also one of the reasons that, should they accept a member who is under 18, that the person must get permission from their parents before joining a coven.

10. Contrary to what the movies and the Christian right wing might say, we DO NOT perform sexual acts as part of our coven rituals.

11. We have 8 Sabbats throughout the year, and they are mostly in conjunction with the natural cycles that are associated with agriculture. Yule (Winter Solstice/longest night of the year) and Summer Solstice (longest day of the year) are two that are not.

12. Paganism does not give easy answers. It requires serious work and effort to understand all of life's intricacies as well as a lot ofstudy, internal reflection and self assessment.

In the end, no matter what happens, until you are 18, as we and others have said before, you should do as your parents wish. They are, above all else, your parents and responsible for you until you turn 18.

Answer 4

If you're sure your parents won't approve, don't do it. Your parents have the right to control your religious education, and the potential strife from defying them on this could have tragic consequences.

If you're going to talk to your parents, I would suggest the following:
Don't make presumptions about them. That leads to defensiveness and misunderstandings.

Listen carefully to them and address their specific concerns and questions, not the concerns and questions you think they'll have. They may surprise you.

Talk to them about wanting to "study" rather than "convert" or "practice" or "join." You're 13. You may be really sure of this at the moment, but you may very well change your mind later. I was in a similar position at 13, as were several friends. I was the only one that remained interested, even though all of us thought we were sure at the time. If you talk about converting, it may sound like you're not taking it seriously or they may feel you've fallen under a bad influence. And I'm serious about the studying bit...this is when you read and read and read and figure out what Wicca really is and whether it really calls to you and reflects your beliefs.

Be open to compromise. They may object to parts but not to everything. Maybe they don't like the idea of magic, or they don't want you playing with candles. If that's the actual objection, then just cut those things from your practice for the moment.

Don't lie. It doesn't help.

Answer 5

I think for now you should keep it on the low about your religious beliefs. Your parents might try and get stricter on you to practice whatever belief system they belong to. If you are really serious about Wiccan being your religion then you should go ahead and try to learn more about it( I know you said you studied it but there is much more to learn) and tried to implement its teachings to your life. As soon as you get to the age of 16, gradually tried to tell your parents about your interest in other religions and beliefs. Don't tell them the truth but make sure they are learning that you are exposing yourself to other things. Then, at 17 tried telling them about Wiccans and what they believe in or what they practice (by this age you should already know) and how much you admire it. If they get preachy or negative then stop the conversation and just say that you have read about Wiccans and don't say anything else. Finally, at age 18 when you are off at college and most likely have a job tell them the truth. You are wiccan and you are an adult which gives you the right to practice your belief system. Try talking to them and educate about Wiccans, you should buy some books by this time and have them read it. Tell them you would still be their daughter and that this is a part of you. If they reject this, then they are rejecting you. Don't expect them to accept it right away. Give them time, they'll come around. I'm telling you to wait because as a child they would only impose stricter regulations on you. I hope that you can solve this and hopefully, you will be happy with any religion you choose.

Answer 6

Blessed be. I would approach the parents by first asking their thoughts on the matter, if they don't freak out, tell them of your interests and ask them if they would check out some of the information with you. Tell them you want to learn about it, if they take an interest as well, maybe you can help teach as you learn? Normally the only way one would take on a student under the age of 18 is to get the parents' permission, then teach. I have been Wicca since '94 and that decision was not taken without a LOT of study first! Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I see there are a lot of close minded people in here tonight.

Most covens will not accept members until they are 17 or 18. Until then I would say just practice in private (avoid candles and other things that would bring the parents down). You can make a small alter - have some favorite stones or crystals. Things that mean something to you but otherwise would be innocent enough. Dont do the goth thing and such to perpetuate the stereotypes that a lot of people here seem to have of Wiccans. Just be yourself. If at some point you feel you can bring it up to your parents then do so. But you, like a lot of other Wiccans of all ages, might have to end up never telling your parents, or not telling them until you are living on your own ....

Answer 8

Hi again :-)

Well, like I said in my last answer, I think you should wait until you are a bit older (at least 16), but I can understand your desire.

Research online is probably a good way to begin. witchvox.com is a good website to start with. You can google "Wicca" too, but just keep in mind that there's a lot of crap out there when compared to real information.

For books (if your library carries them), I'd recommend anything by Scott Cunningham. Raymond Buckland is pretty good too.

And honestly, I'm 23, and I haven't told a soul in my family that I'm Wiccan. The only person who knows is my honey. I would research and learn all that you can now, and one day if/when you feel confident enough, tell your parents.

Good luck :-)

Answer 9

I can't give you the answer you want to hear. I think Wicca is a beautiful religion but being that you are 13 your parents are responsible for you. You could approach them with the fact you'd like to study Wicca. Tell them why you think that Wicca is the right religion for you. Be prepared to answer questions. Trust me if they don't know anything about it they will be scared for you. Don't throw a fit if they say no. Parents normally are doing what they think is right.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Wicca is a beautiful and sacred path, and one of many Neopagan religions. It is about revering Nature, your Ancestors, and your Gods. It isn't all about spells and magic powers -- Magick is part of it, but not central to it. There are many, many religions and spiritual paths out there. Learn as much as you can about as many as you can, and decide for yourself when you are ready.

The difficulty is that many of us found out about this path when we were very young, and don't tell our parents about it until much later. I was forced out of the broom closet when I was about 20, and someone called the cops on a ritual I did in the woods (I was just burning sage -- I think they thought I was burning the woods down!) Not a good way for your parents to find out. I don't recommend it. My point being, we've all pretty much been in your shoes.

But you are young. It's great that you have this interest. If you are still drawn to the Pagan path when you are older, the Path will be here for you. Your priority right now should be school, growing up, and figuring out who you are (and that takes time, believe me!) Like I said, learn as much as you can about as many different paths as you can, and decide for yourself. Like Hestia's Priestess said, no ethical teacher will take on an underage student. The ones that do may have some ulterior motive (there are creeps in all religions, Wicca is certainly no exception). So be careful there. You can learn a lot here, by reading the answers given and questions asked on this topic. But like everyone else has said, hold off on committing to this path until you are 18.