My gf and I just had a boy 12 days ago. I think she is going to leave. She had a gril thats almost 5 She lived with her Grandma for the last 2 years. She does not listen. Her grandma has a 3 bdr home. ! for her and hubby, 1 for her daughter, and the third is a playrm. She sleeps with the grandma in her bed. My gf just babysits her every once in a while and never overnight. I make enough for my own roof and everything me and him need. She doesnt. She gave her daughter up cuz she "couldnt afford it" . The girl also does not know how to wipe herself, still wets herself (and nothing is done about it) and just does whatever she wants. There is absolutely NO discipline. School is paid for at 200/month but they take her when she wants to go, not when scheduled. She is constantly back and forth between mom and gma house. She is rude and hateful. Mom wont make her do anything. Will not make her stay where she doesnt want to. Do I stand a chance or am I fighting a losing battle?
2007-12-20 11:56:46 · 7 answers · asked by Big Boy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The fact that she can't afford to raise the child bears only a little importance when it comes to custody between a mother and father. The fact that she has abandoned her first child for her grandparents to care for shows a level of irresponsibility. You would need to show the courts that you are a fit parent and that she is not a fit parent.
There is always a chance. If you really feel that it is in the best interests of the child to be in your care, then fight. If this little boy is going to be brought up in a similar way to the little girl then you are going to have one hell of a fight on your hands when visitation comes around. But the fact that he will have you in his life will save him at least a little.
I am concerned for the daughter of your gf though. She sounds like she is being neglected. I fear something else is going on there that you don't know about. Little kids tend to be rude unless they have been taught differently but the fact the little girl is so hateful is a bit of a red flag to me. The care of your gf's daughter should definitely be a part of the case to gain custody of your son as if your gf decides she can't care for this little fellow then he will end up in the care of her grandparents also in all likelihood. It doesn't sound as if that is the ideal place for any child to be placed.
What makes you think that your gf is going to leave? The longer you can stick it out with your gf the better your case will be as you will have spent more time in your babies life. The bond between you will be greater.
Good luck and I hope for the sake of the child that you can work out how to make this happen!
2007-12-20 12:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by Onyx ♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you stand any kind of a chance would be to prove her unfit in a court of law which is not easy when it comes to existing mothers. You would have to show child neglect and/or endangerment, that the current living arrangements are detrimental to the childs health. You could show enough evidence and have the mother ruled unfit by child and/or drug/mental charges which without police or hospital records is not easy. . You can alwaystake a chance and hope for mercy from the court if you show enough just cause but mostly be prepared for the system to fail you and all this would be for naught. Sorry, wish I had a better answer for you. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-12-20 12:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think your son will be living in bad conditions call the authorities and report her. Do whatever it takes to protect him, that's your job. You will need to find a lawyer that deals in family law and give him any ammo you can on your gf. But remember, she will do the same so make sure your "house is clean" and I don't mean housekeeping either. You will also have to prove that you can provide a more stable home for your son with proper daycare while you work. You must walk a straight line from now on and your son must come first at all times. I think you would have a good chance with the info you stated so now the decision is yours. Good luck and Merry Christmas!!
2007-12-20 12:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fight for your son!! Now a days it is a lot easier for men to get custody...at least 50% of it. Don't give up either. If at first it doesn't seem like it will go your way it doesn't matter keep fighting. Custody issues can chang drastically in just one court visit.
2007-12-20 12:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by just me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to her? Maybe she'll just give you custody.
As far as getting custody if you can prove that the child is not being taking care of properly you might have a chance.
2007-12-20 12:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by Heaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your 1st course of action should be to talk to a lawyer who deals in family law. That way you can get the correct information for where you living.
A question for you-- WHY if you knew what this woman was like with her previous child did you NOT take precautions to ensure another pregnancy would not occur????
2007-12-20 12:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are going to have to prove that shes an unfit parent. That is if she even fights you. good luck.
2007-12-20 12:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by mama2three 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋