She asked us to take care of her and ill dad the rest of their lives. We bought a house together to get them out of their inadequate home before we sold it, and got an all interest loan on a house, expecting to pay the balance with the $$ of her old home. We told her we had no $$ and she promised to pay for 1/2 the house if we would take care of them. She pays 1/2 mtge. for her and dad, we pay the other 1/2. She has agreed to pay a mo. payment, but it is interest only for 10 yrs. She refuses to put any more $$ into the house after promising this to us for nearly a year and says she never agreed to do it. However, she did sign a contract at closing agreeing to be 1/2 owner. Now we will both be paying interest for 10 years, then a mtge of $2500/mo afterwards if we cannot put any $$ into the principal. We have rt. to svvrshp, but we cannot to pay the whole amt/mo. if one of them dies. We just found out she gave that house $$ to her girls. We can't sue. How can we keep the house?
2007-12-20 10:24:16 · 13 answers · asked by BT51 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Renting & Real Estate
There is no greed involved. Our lives have been turned upside down, and we spend every waking moment taking care of Dad who has Alzheimer's. No one else in the family is willing to take care of them although they are much better off financially than we are. We did it because it was the right thing to do; They are our parents, and their children should take care of them. We never thought we would need a legal document to validate the promise of the mother to her son. At this point we are trying to avoid bankruptcy and to take care of dad's medical needs. Mom doesn't want anything to do with us. She would rather live alone. Please offer help and not accusations.
2007-12-20 17:48:28 · update #1
She originally offered us everything she had; we told her all we wanted was to not to have to move again, the girls could have everything else. The only thing we asked for, she took away from us.
2007-12-20 17:50:28 · update #2
Getting it in writing is no longer an option, the deed is done. If we sell the house we will get nothing from it because we have been paying only interest on it for the past year. There is NO equity in the house, and we have no money to buy another one. We are $600k in debt and at this time we cannot even get a car loan. We have to be able to keep this house in order to take care of Dad. We cannot just leave, or we would forfeit ownership and still have nothing. She won't leave, but doesn't need us to do anything for her, she gets her daughters to do it.
(They only show up when it's time for big money to change hands, they're vultures too, it's a really bizarre family...)
If there are any legals out there, please tell me what should be my next step. We cannot afford the time we would need to hire someone until we have done all the research, and I have no idea where to start.
2007-12-21 01:10:23 · update #3
There are no life savings. Refinancing too costly. Can't move out, can't sell house. Dad needs us. mom doesn't. Can't afford long term lawyer. Can't afford added insurance. I don't mean to be difficult, but these are not viable options. Any more ideas, please?
2007-12-21 01:17:46 · update #4
It's obvious that the deception is on her side, GW. BT51, you are to be highly commended for your willingness to do and not try to take advantage of them, and she is an ungrateful old woman who has no integrity and doesn't know what a promise is. It doesn't matter if she's up with the monthly payments, she made a promise to her SON that she should have kept and is leaving you with the entire house debt after she dies. If you are only paying interest at this time, in my humble opinion, that does not qualify her as paying half the house. Does she realize that by not paying down the principal, her monthly payments amount to renting, and that she won't get any of that back? This also means that, assuming you are in your 50s, you will be making huge mortgage payments when retire, and it doesn't sound like you can afford them. Can you take on boarders or roomies to help pay down the principal? Her daughters should be ashamed for taking her money, but apparently they have no conscience, either. I am sick to my stomach reading all this, and want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. If my family did this to me, I would be devastated. Lawyers are expensive, but this appears to be your only option. As was said, you need more than curbside advice. God bless you and your wife.
2007-12-21 01:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by been good 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just one observation
"We never thought we would need a legal document to validate the promise of the mother to her son"
When dealing with family, especially with family, in ALL matters EVERYTHING should be written in stone, so to speak. Way to many things to go wrong, as you have now learned, and then when things are not written out it becomes he said she said. So not so much for you but to others
GET IT IN WRITING! Otherwise just assume you will never be repaid or the promises kept in order to keep the family together.
Why did Mom give the funds to the other girls, bet there is a story there too.
Good luck and as someone said sell and get a home you can afford all on your own. Sounds like Dad will need more care than you can provide soon and Mom doesn't want to be there anyway.
2007-12-21 00:33:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she is paying one half of an interest only loan then she is keeping her promise to pay for 1/2 of the house as she agreed.
If she is paying the balance on the home she is paying for it 100%.
I am not sure what you mean by taking away your financial security, you did not put ANYTHING into the house. You have a loan for the whole thing. Your life savings should still be good, she has not effected that.
You can keep the house by doing what you are doing, both paying their fair share. Refinance it to a better loan before the 10 years are up.
2007-12-20 10:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by Landlord 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are sure in a pickle. If you go after your mother in Law you wife`s sibilings will be real mad at you.
If you want the legal side. They must pay there amount. If they are still living with you that is. If they are in there own home and have not sold it then you would be better off to just sell it and be done with the whole thing. Then go out and buy a home you can truly afford on your own.
2007-12-20 10:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by Big Deal Maker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sell the house, move to one you can afford all on your own and let mom and dad live there and pay you monthly rent.
I think your greed got in the way when visions of a large house that mom and dad paid 1/2 on would be all yours when they passed.
Second thing is if you had only sought the advice of an Atty and gotten a legally binding contract stating they would hand over the funds from the sale of their home you would have a leg to stand on.
Did "her girls" know that they were supposed to hand the monies over to you?
Take mom and dad and leave them on one of their doorsteps. but then that would not give you 10 years to live in the house and come up with a way to keep it.
2007-12-20 12:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Very simple solution. Ask the girls for money or mother is going to live with them. I dont know how many girls she gave the money to but maybe they can chip in some monthly payments.
You could also put out a life insurance policy on them so that if one dies, you can use the money to pay the house.
2007-12-20 10:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See an Attorney about filing a partition action. The judge will order the property sold. Then inlaw will have to find another place to live or go back to her own house; and nobody to take care of her. She is going to leave her half of the house to the girls, not to you. You will have to fight the girls for the house.
2007-12-20 13:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"However, she did sign a contract at closing agreeing to be 1/2 owner"
I bet ya as this was discussed in front of people when you signed the papers at the mortgage company, you may have a witness or two.
Show Mom in-law the contract she signed and then speak with a lawyer to get some answers on how to proceed.
2007-12-20 10:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by A Messi No More 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she dies, the house will be 1/2 her heirs and they can make you sell! If she refuses to pay her 1/2, you shouldn't pay yours either. Let things take their natural course.
2007-12-20 10:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow that's pretty harsh of your m-in-law, I guess you need to look at this realistically, put the house up for sale she either buys you out or you get half the profit. She also ends up with no one looking after her, pity she can't see that.
2007-12-20 10:29:56 · answer #10 · answered by JF_14 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋