are the police going to? Police officers only please?

Question

this goes hand in hand with my last question about parent rights to get involved. my boyfriend and i got into another physical fight that left my eye bruised and face swollen, the police were called by my parents and i stayed quiet about the questions they were asking me. 2 of the police officers talked to my parents and then got in their cars and took off real fast, are they going to go arrest my boyfriend even if i didn't give them the information they wanted? one officer stayed behind to talk to me and told me to get help, that that is what i needed, not to be tight mouthed about it. but i want to work it out with him and not have him in trouble. please get back to me as fast as possible so i can help my boyfriend before they arrest him if that is what they are going to do. you can IM me if your off duty also. i really need to help him not get in trouble.

also please tell me where your a police officer to? city county state? what type of officer you are.

i am 17 my boyfriend is 18. my parents are the ones who called the police.

Answer 1

OK - first of all, you need to know that this relationship is NEVER going to get better.
There is something called the cycle of Domestic Violence.
It is a downward and ever shorter spiral:
Phase one - you get into an argument, he smacks you around.
Phase two - he comes on with flowers, apologies, so sweet, begging your forgiveness. And you want him to love you, so you forgive him.
Phase three - Repeat phase one - except this time, he uses his fist instead of an open palm to hit you.
Phase four - He comes back to you, weeping, begging, and you take him back, but you are a little more wary.
Phase five - this time he beats you so bad, he puts you in the hospital. You tell the Doctor you fell down the stairs.
Phase six - By now you are totally locked into him. You don't hear anyone else when they try to warn you. You are afraid that you have no where to go, because by now he has alienated you or physically separated you from all of your friends and family. You feel alone and totally dependent on him.
Phase seven - I am standing next to your body, writing a description of your visible injuries, and waiting for the Coroner's assistant to pick you up and take you to the morgue. He beat you to death; and he is either dead as well by his own hand, or he is now in custody.

I won't tell you where I work; but I am a Police Officer in Southern California, and I have seen this particular scenario more than I care to admit.

It only stops one of two ways, you leave and he gets help; or you will DIE.

I know it isn't easy, sweetheart. But listen to your parents this time. Walk away from him before it gets worse.

Answer 2

Sister,
I am not a police officer. No police officer is going to say anything other than what has already been said by the first.

Do you think this is love? Why are you trying to protect him. No one is going to protect him when he has layed his fist on a women. Sometimes, most of the time, men are damaged that do things like this. You can send them to any and all classes to "help" them and it does not help them until they personally feel they have a problem. I am sure he will say sorry. I teach my son, because his dad was an abuser(mostly emotionally) that sorry means I will "NEVER" do it again and mean it. The second time is not allowed a sorry because it has become a broken promise. How do you believe anyone who breaks a promise to you?
I hope the police catches up with him, before he hurts you again.

Do not mistake this strong feeling of emotion for love. You are confused. If he really loved you, he would not hurt you. If he loved you and hurt you, he would realize that he has a problem and seek help without force or legal actions.
Hope this is helpful. I do not think the police will be so nice about the situation.

Answer 3

Sweetie, for God's sake get some counseling. If you believe that it's even remotely possible to change an abuser, you would be wrong. He is the only one who could change but usually abusers don't until they are forced to by the courts. Even then, rarely do they change. You don't say how old you are but even as a grown adult, your parents have the right to protect their daughter. Trust me on this one, when you look back on this, you will be very thankful that your parents took the stand that they did. They could have walked away which would have devastated your soul when you get the help you need to recognize how fortunate you are to have them.. Usually woman who stay with abusers have very low self-esteem and have been led to believe that no other man will ever love them like the abuser does. Abusers are control freaks and he is controling you like a puppet on a string. Please believe me no-one has the right to lay a hand on you in violent manner. Each time it happens you will lose another piece of your self-esteem and soul. Hitting someone is as bad as them raping you, (which will come later, if you stay with him), he violated your personal space and he purposely tried to make you feel less than and purposely meant to physically hurt you. Doesn't really paint a picture of someone that loves someone. Does it? Boyfriend in trouble with the police is probably his best chance of getting help as it's doubtful he will do it on his own. Pray that they do lock him up, not visa-versa Imagine this, you marry this guy, you have a baby girl and he decides he's going to abuse her too when she cries to long or to much. When she wakes him up from his nap or whatever. Your guilt in having brought her into the world knowing already that this guy is a violent and abusive will make you crazy. Get Out Now. Stay Out. Things Will Not Get Better With This Dude. You can bank on that. I am leaving you my e-mail address. If you want to talk or if I can help you in any way, I will glad to do so. Sounds like you need a friend. I am almost 50, a single mom of a 23 y.o. daugher and 11 y.o. son. If anyone ever lays a hand on either one of them, the police will be the least of their worries. Don't get me wrong with that comment as I am the most non-violent person you will ever meet. Don't believe in evening spanking my children or dog. I just wanted to make the point that good parents are fiercely protective over their children. That's how God intended them to be. You will survive not having this boyfriend. You might not survive if you stay with him. Please Get Out Now.

God's Speed and Grace,
Nancy
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Please get help. You do NOT want to try to work this out. You cannot work it out with an abuser. It simply cannot be done unless he is willing to go to therapy and it takes a long time to undo the kind of mental illness that makes a man hit a woman. Love yourself and respect yourself. What if he did this to a child? And there is nothing you can do to stop the cops from turning him in, really. Thank goodness. Laws have been changed in the last 20 yrs to keep gals like you from harming yourselves by letting this go on. He will spend some time in jail, and maybe it will open his eyes to the help he needs.

Answer 5

First off yes I am sure they are going to arrest him. Second off why would you want to help a "man" get out of trouble for hitting a women? He has nothing to offer girl and as I can tell by the way you are talking you won't listen. So go help your bf and he will be out in no time and say sorry and then a few months down the road he will continue to hit you again. Its very very sad. The police can file a report and it is up to the prosecuting attorny to press charges, which they most likely will. If you don't coroporate it will be harder to charge him. He deserves to get arrested and he deserves to get his *** beat!!! When he goes to jail no one will be talking to him. They don't like rapist or women beaters!!!!

Answer 6

We can press charges without your approval. I've seen a lot of these incidents before and they never get better. your parents may find you dead one day if you decide to stay with him. Abuse is not acceptable and you should demand better than that from those whom you seek a relationship with. One day the striking may go to far and by that time it will be to late.

Answer 7

Honey, you need some counseling. ANY man who would hit a woman, isn't a real man. If he did it once, he'll do it again... and the injuries will become progressively worse.... up to and including beating you to death.
He'll convince you that he's sorry, that it's your fault, that he won't do it again, that he was justified, etc. etc. etc.
Get some help.
Get out of this relationship.
You have my prayers...

Answer 8

Anytime there is an episode of domestic violence where the police respond- the man is going to go to jail. In most states it is the law. The fact that you had physical marks on your face is going to make it almost impossible to talk his way out of it, even if he has a sympathetic cop- which is very unlikely in these cases. He is almost certainly going to jail, but if you refuse to press charges he shouldn't be convicted of any charge in most instances.

Answer 9

I never understood why after getting the life beating out of you, why you don't wanted him arrested. I've seen a women with a broken arm screaming at us " Don't arrest him, I love him" 3 days later he killed her ...out on bail....she paid the bail.

You figure it out....and then can you explain it to me?

Answer 10

Man there are so many problems with this situation. Your best bet would be to get out of the relationship. Enough said.