I talked to my boyfriend about his drinking and how I was concerned. He's calling me a hypocrite because I drink. No one has ever talked to me about my drinking being a problem and I don't think it is because I drink socially and maybe a glass or 2 of wine in the evenings with dinner or just to unwind a couple times a week, if that. Why is he calling me a hypocrite? It's really beginning to **** me off and all I wanted to do was help him.
2007-12-20 09:50:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Using alcohol to unwind is not a good thing.
Just wanted to mention that.
On to your boyfriend - of course he's going to retaliate because he doesn't want to hear that he may have a drinking problem.
It may also be the way you brought it up.
2007-12-20 10:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would only be a hypocrite if you also had a drinking problem that you were ignoring or denying, but was telling him that he should do something about his. Most people can drink and not have a problem. I'm like that. I drink socially, but I am not an alcoholic. My sister, on the other hand, is. She'll drink a 24 case of beer every day. Anyway, no, you're not a hypocrite if what you're saying is true and you're not denying anything on your own part. He is probably trying to minimize his own problem because he is either in denial or isn't ready to get help yet.
2007-12-20 18:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It doesn't make you a hypocrite. But, understand that he was probably offended by the confrontation. Usually confrontations are taken in offense. You have every right to let him know that it bothers you. Only remember that you can't change him. Make sure to let him know that drinking is not the problem. Rather, it is excessive drinking (or whatever it may be). Be specific. If you decide to make boundaries, be sure to keep them or he will walk over them. If this bothers you as it may; and you decide that you don't want it in your life, let him know. Know that he will probably test you on it. Be ready to seperate from him. He probably needs to know you are not gonna have it. Often I see people make a big deal out of a small one. The easier you make it, the easier it will seem. Hope any of it helps.
2007-12-20 18:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by Blessed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it sounds like your boyfriend is in the denial stage of alcoholism. You aren't going to be able to help him until he's good and ready to be helped.
I wouldn't call you a hypocrite because you have an occasional glass of wine. There are places where it's served every day- and where it's usually safer than water. Just make sure you aren't drinking because you 'need' to.
Good luck.
2007-12-20 18:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he DOES have a drinking problem then maybe he is avoiding it, and doesn't see it as a problem, then calling you a hypocrite will take the stress off of the origional issue, his drinking problem. He needs to look at not how much or often he drinks, but WHY he drinks, and how it affects others to recognize if there is a problem or not
2007-12-20 18:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by prplfae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question to ask yourself and answer HONESTLY would be could you do without it?
Yes - try, go for a week without, it would give your insides a bit of a detox! try and have one night with one glass, then one night without through the week,
If you cant do this, or even think about doing this, then you should think about getting help, before it becomes a major problem.
The french and Italian drink with most meals, but the question is moderation and being able to go without, not missing it or thinking about it if you dont have it.
Maybe if you feel your bf really does have a problem, you should cut down, so maybe he wont drink without you, or dont buy it in
2007-12-20 18:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes to be criticized about things they do. You got pissed when he called you a hypocrite because you drink, so imagine how angry he got when you implied he has a PROBLEM with drinking. You can't help someone unless they ask for your help or want it.
2007-12-20 18:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by sursumcorda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because if he makes you feel guilty then he can drink all he wants without you speaking your mind.He obviously doesnt want help most alcoholics dont.Good Luck
2007-12-20 17:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by wanna know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to stop drinking. So he will attack you to get you off of dealing with him.
2007-12-23 20:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋