She always sent one until two years ago, thats the last full conversation I had with her,, she was talking about her kids, im single and we dont have much in common anymore, i felt maybe i was rude so i sent a christmas gift for her baby from Lord and Taylor, she called to say Thanks but I have not recieved a christmas card ever since, she called in the summer to say she moved..
I even gave her my email, she never emailed me..
This year i sent a card,, she left a message thanking me and said to call her but she did not send me a card..
Is this rude? should i call or forget it?
2007-12-20 09:29:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She also asks about my brother and says "oh is he still single"? and laughs and then asks if my Mom still lives in "that bad neighborhood"
its annoying.
2007-12-20 09:32:28 · update #1
i wanted to add, she never invited me over for lunch or for anything to her house, I never met her kids. Last we talked, she had to get off the phone and never got back to me, until she called months later to say shes moving.
2007-12-20 09:37:22 · update #2
sheloves, she sent me one for 10 years up until 2 years ago, i find it odd,, i never even got a photo of her kids..
2007-12-20 09:38:24 · update #3
It's a wonderful thing to give a gesture of love and affection for another person without expecting reciprocation. Friends don't need to do exactly the same things for each other; in fact, I would think that in very good relationships, they wouldn't. My needs are different from my friends' needs, so in meeting each others' needs, we will likely do different things.
I know that many times, I appreciate e-mails and cards that people send me, but I don't always respond immediately for whatever reason (I'm busy, or I intend to call them back, but don't think of it at the right time, or whatever). Just because I don't respond doesn't mean that I don't care.
2007-12-20 15:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it! It sounds like she kind of irritates you anyway. There is no special law that says everyone must send Christmas cards. You say she has kids. Well she is a busy woman and I bet her finances are tied up in things for her family. She may not have the funds to send out Christmas cards. Or it may be a time issue. When you have kids your life changes and basically most of your time is devoted to them. So if she is really your friend then you need to ease up a bit and try to understand her side. True friends can not speak for years and then when they do they are comfortable enough to talk like they had just spoken the day before. And when you give someone a gift or a card it should not be so they will return the favor. She called and thanked you which shows she still thinks about you. So she probably still cares about you as a friend but as you said you two don't have alot in common right now. I think you should call her. Talk about old times. See if she can get away for an evening together with you without the kids. And stop taking things so personally. Her life is not about you now it is about her kids and family. And believe me that will take up most of your time. But I bet she would be very happy to hear from you.
2007-12-20 09:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From where I sit, your friend has not only moved locations, she has moved on with her life and as you have said you don't have much in common anymore. She has responded by phoning you and that is most courteous.
She has made it clear that she will not be writing. That is not rude. It would have been rude if she written and said she did not want any further communication with you but she did not and she did phone. Perhaps they don't send Christmas cards to anyone anymore? It would be impolite to ask and she doesn't need to explain herself. Many people no longer send cards for various reasons. I still do because I want to and feel a little closer to the recipient. If I stopped sending cards to those I didn't get cards back from I could cut my cards in half. Some family I only hear from at Christmas time because they don't like to write or phone either but the link is still there.
I received 2 particular surprises this week. One was a Christmas card from a lady I met last year in another country and had tea with her a couple of times. It meant something to her enough to send a card (I didn't rush out to buy a card to reciprocate but I will next year). You can tell by now I'm an older person. Well on Monday I opened my email (I was born in Scotland & immigrated at age 13 and live in Canada) well the email was headed 'blast from the past' and was it ever. A girl I went all through school with until I left and that was 50 years ago - we have had a few chats back & forth this week, she is in Melbourne, Australia.
Funny thing is she thought I might think she was 'rude' to 'intrude' into my life after all this time; but she had met a chap that went to school with us as well when she visited with his first wife (also school mate) for his 70th birthday. in Sydney, Australia when she visited there last year and he gave her my email address (come to think of it we are all 70years old) Another school friend who lives in Canada met up with him 2 years ago...we may have a chain link developing here. Not a phone call or letter in 50 years but we have always remembered each other fondly. I hope you remember your friend just as fondly.
2007-12-20 10:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by MYRA C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Write this "friend" off your radar, she is not in your world anymore. Stop trying and fussing, and just forget about her. Sometimes people just drift away and that's the end of everything. She is not a friend anymore, if she ever really was. Use your time and thoughts and Christmas cards for people who are in your neck of the woods. Merry Christmas.
2007-12-20 21:13:28 · answer #4 · answered by older is wiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like your friend is in a different realm now that she has kids and everything. Friends grow apart- it happens! The next time you talk to her, make it lighthearted like "oh you 've never sent me a pic of your kids! you're not ashamed of them are you?" haha like a joke. Maybe she didnt send cards this year... not everyone does, or if she was too busy to do so.
2007-12-20 14:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dig It 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not in her circle of close friends anymore. You need to move on, she's in the Mommy mode.
2007-12-20 11:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like she wants to distant herself from you for whatever reason. I suggest you move on without her too.
2007-12-20 18:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't seem interested in being friends anymore. Accept it and move on.
2007-12-20 09:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by _I_love_warm_bananas_ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋