Should I dump my boyfriend.?

Question

I have been living with my boyfriend now for a year and a half, we have been dating for 3 years total. I pay for all the utilities and groceries, he pays the mortgage. We each pay for our own vehicles including insurance, up keep, etc. My boyfriend is the type of person who continually has something to complain about. I work a full time job and have a 9 year old son that I also take care of, I come home every night and do all of the domestic life duties (cook, clean, laundry, pick up/drop off dry cleaning, etc.) But the constant complaining is starting to get on my last nerve. He will complain that the kitchen cabinet door was left open, the bed was not made up before work, there was one candy wrapper tucked under the couch, the list goes on and on. Sometimes these complaints turn into major arguements. Am I being unreasonable to think that he should keep some of his thoughts/complaints to himself unless they are major life changing problems. I have talked to him but it never changes

Answer 1

Hey honey, your not the problem! I know how you feel, cause I am that guy that does all that nagging and complaining! You are not reasonable to complain, you every right to! He is one sick bastard that needs help! It is a very unhealthy relationship especially with a years old kid who sees all this problems is really affecting him. So get some kind of help or something or get out of that relationship. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Does he do anything?
I don't think I could stand someone complaining like that. Why doesn't he just take care of the problem himself and shut up?
My ex used to consider the whole house dirty if I had dishes in the sink no matter how hard I had cleaned. It used to drive me crazy.
Now days a household is a joint project because you both have to work and people realize that taking care of the kids is just as hard as having a full time job.
Do you need to have him as a live in, financially? If not I would give him an ultimatum.
Good luck and make sure he understands how important this is to you. Maybe a therapist would help.

Answer 3

I don't think you're being unreasonable. A constant complainer is a drag and just makes those around him miserable. I don't know if dumping him is the answer unless you just don't want to be with him anymore then yes walk away. But if you want things to work out tell him that you're tired of being complained at all the time that it is just bringing you down and you want things to change.

Answer 4

you cant change him, he is just now showing you his true colors and if you were to marry him it would be much worse, is he your baby daddy if you don't mind me asking? don't stay with abuse, love shouldn't hurt. if he continues to complain then tell him to do it his self if he does not like they way you do things then leave the room he is in and drop what you are doing then and there, you do this enough times and he will get the hint (hopefully). if he starts to leave the house in anger just let him go, if he truly wants you he will be back apologizing. you have to play reverse psychology on this guy and put him in his place, My hubby and i both take care of the house chores together no matter who works the hardest or longest, so that is false if your bf says house chores are for the women. if he still continues then start cutting down on the rooms he can go into so that they will stay the way he likes them , JK lol. Good luck in what ever you decide sweety you deserve better treatment.

Answer 5

Give him one last chance and say "i do as much as I possibly can for you and my son b/c I only want the best for both of you. But I can only do so much b/c I am human. This house is YOUR responsibility too. We are a team and we need to share the housework. If you see something that you don't like, fix it yourself b/c I do plenty around here. I am seriously considering leaving you b/c when you get angry about these little things, it makes me feel unappreciated for the things that I DO do. Do you feel like I do nothing? " If you don't face this now girl, things are only going to get worse. If he has that bad of a temper truly, he probably won't change. So if he doesn't you need to leave not only for yourself, but for your son as well. I now it will be hard finding a new place and stuff, but you should never stay with someone out of convenience. You deserve more.

Answer 6

Those aren't really things that are worth complaining about and having big fights over. Thats a waste of life and happiness. My suggestion was going to be to talk to him, but if it doesnt change anything..Then, tell him that he has to stop or itll be over. If he doesnt change or make a noticable effort, then he doesnt care enough. If thats the case, then I say..Dont waste your time on him. Find someone that'll keep you happy and appreciate the things you do.

Answer 7

Sounds like to me he's being controlling but on the other hand, I complain about the same thing he's complaining about. From a woman to another woman, whatever your heart says do, that's what you should do.

Answer 8

You're complaining about his complaining...

It may be the way he complains, too. Hard to tell.

It seems like a small thing, but couples therapy has a lot of neat gimmicks to help you out with this sort of thing. Try it.
.

Answer 9

Well, instead of telling him to keep his thoughts to himself maybe you two should come up with a resolution. Sweeping stuff under the carpet isn't going to help, it'll just show up later.

Answer 10

He is complaining waaaay too much for the littlest of things, if it bother him so much, HE should try cleaning it up and such, not blaming and complaning it on/to you!!!
I say: dump him
OR
Talk to him about it.
Good luck!