how do i convince my parents to let me go out with my friends and how can they stop being so overprotective?

Question

when i ask my parents to let me go out with my friends, they tell me ok ill come too and im 15 almost 16. They call me 10000000000000000 times when i go just across the street to go to the depanneur just to see if im fine. FOR
Example: i wanna go shopping and my mom says ok ill come along with your sister(7) or to the movies she says no tell your friends to come at our house and rent a movie instead. They wont even let me go to their bday parties. Its so not fair can anyone help me.....

Answer 1

In a couple of years you will be grown up. Don't forget that. This is temporary.
There is an incredible amount of bad stuff going on these days, and frankly it's probably better that they are overprotective than underprotective. Nothing bad will happen to you because you don't go to a party, even if it is really annoying.
I expect you think you can handle whatever comes into your life, even better than your parents could. It's natural to feel that way, and of course you have learned a lot already, but your parents have a lot more experience in life than you do.
Remember too, that happiness comes more from your response to life than from the things that happen to you. Parties and shopping won't make you happy. And staying home won't make you unhappy. It's how you respond to these experiences that makes you happy or unhappy.

Answer 2

It sounds like you might have immigrant parents whose values are different than those of your friends' parents. Honestly, there isn't too much you can do about that (take it from someone who went through this herself). The more you try to convince her that you won't do anything wrong, the more they will suspect you are planning something they don't want you to be involved with. Your best bet is to increase their own circle of friends to include people who look at life differently. For example, if your friends want to go to the movies, tell them that your friend's parents are going to the movie too, and invite your mom to join you. She will end up talking to your friend's mom, and over time, she may start to understand how things work in other families (pick the friends you want to go out with carefully - they have to be people she respects).

Calling you when you go across the street is disruptive. Leave your phone at home when you go, or turn the ringer off while you are over there. I really do think it is rude of them to keep you from having a normal conversation, but what comes across is that they are extremely nervous. It may be that they don't fully understand how things work where you live (I'm assuming Quebec, since you used the word depanneur instead of convenience store). That is really common for immigrants.

Are they going to let you leave home to go to college? If so, one argument you can sometimes use is that you need to start developing some independence so that you won't be overwhelmed when that happens. I have to admit that the first few years of college were a major failure for me because I was so unused to the freedom that I misused it badly. If I had been given a little more leeway earlier, I might have made better decisions when I had the opportunity to finally do so.

Answer 3

If ur living in a rough neighborhood~ it's totally understandable. However, they should give u room 2 expand ur wings or u'll nevr b able 2 fly properly as an adult & take care of urself the right way. Smoothering & bing way over protective is seen as a compulsion & desire 2 live their life thro urs. That they r missing out on something from themselves & each other wether past, &/or present.
I'm a Mom & sometimes we do get it rong, ur not born w/ a book of instructions & we do the best we can 4 u at all times. Tho I can say, I nevr smothered my kids~ I let them b their own individuals as much as posibl w/out any harm coming upon them. I did set bounderies where they needed 2 b set & monitored what they did- wether physically or by checking in w/ them & where they were.
Mayb u can talk 2 ur school counselor & ask him/her what 2 do bout this & how 2 maturally confront ur parents on issues that r important 2 u. Communication between evry1 of u is the most important aspect of understanding & the willingness 2 work 2gethr.
B willing 2 compromise on what they want as u r wanting compromise as well. Show them they r raising u right & their values r instilled upon u~~ when u go out, call & check in on ur own w/out them having 2 take the initionitive 2 b the 1st 1's 2 do it. In othr words, b responsibl & help ease their minds. Don't evr lie 2 ur parents if they give u rope 2 stretch, u'll just defeat the whole purpose. B where u say ur going 2 b & leave fon number's so they can reach u- evn if they call 2 check 2 c if ur relly there. After awhile- it will slack off & u'll b able 2 do more.
Good luck & I hope any of this helps u.

Answer 4

Okay, I agree-it sounds like they are way overreacting. But (and don't hate me for reminding you), at this brief moment in time you are only 15. That's a minor. You might be the most mature, considerate and conservative 15 year old in the world, but your folks are still responsible for you and love you. But here's where I'm on your side. If you want to do something with your friends, make sure they like your friends and are convinced you will be safe and supervised. Then, promise them while you are away from home you will call them mid-way through your activity, and because of that, ask them not to keep calling you. If you throw them a bone, maybe they won't be so worried. It's a scary world out there, and remember that nobody loves you like your mom and dad, so even when you are out, somewhere in your heart you should be happy they love you and are keeping track of you. If you feel smothered, make sure you convince them you will be safe and supervised during an "outing," and maybe you can calm them down.

Answer 5

It's hard to understand.. I remember when my parents where like that but now as a mom myself I have come to understand them..

It's a very scary world out there full of people that kill, rape, hurt other people... and your parents act this way because they love you very much.. they are very scared that something might happen to you.. or that you could make wrong choices.

You're probably a good kid and well you are right also.. they do need to give you some space and start letting go of you..

I suggest talking to both..let them know you understand they are scared that you might get hurt or make bad choices..let them know that they raised you right and that they can start giving you a little trust.. and that you will not let them down. Tell them you promise to come to them if you have any problems or questions. But that you really need some freedom.

If they do give it to you..don't take it too lightly, make the right choices and you will see that once they start trusting in your judgment more..they will in turn give you even more freedom.

If they say come home at a certain time go home at that time, if they say to call do so as well.. perhaps also teach them to text message that way they can bug you a million times without having the embarrassment of having to talk to your parents so much in front of friends.. that way you can just say you're texting a friend..

It's tough I know..but your parents are not these mean creatures out there to make your life hell.. they mean right they just need to be pointed in the right direction too sometimes.

Answer 6

First understand where their coming from. They are scared that you might start doing crazy things with your friends, like drugs, sex and what not. You should appreciate how much they care and love you. You can still hangout with your friends and it's not like you can't, which you are lucky because my dad never wanted me to do anything with my friends except talk on the phone. The only thing I did was to gain my dad's trust was to respected his wishes. I joined after school activities to be with my friends, maybe that will help you go out more. Be glade for what you have. You can still do things with your friends and you should be galde your parents are involved, some parents are not. And fifteen is pretty young, people start doing crazy things when they are teenagers. I didn't really gain full trust till I was 18, but even then I was still looked after from my dad. Everyone grows differently, some teens grow quicker then others, but teens can be hard to handle. Their in the middle between being a kid and being an adult. Parents sometimes don't know if the can trust their kids and if they do they seem they can do what ever they want because it their life philosophy. Teens can look like or act out as adults, doing adult thing, but outside their parents vision they can be way different and you know that. Teens can really can have a mind of a child, and do thing unexpectedly without looking at the consequences. They like to talk about or join things that other teens do, which are not right. Things they do may seem innocent or think bad things will not come from it, because their young and their parents won't know about it, and it can be morally wrong. Teenagers get into a mix up all the time or lie to get to do what they want to do and they get in trouble, then parents that lose their kids to drugs, drunk driving, get pregnant, start smoking, get STDs, in cults or gangs, and get killed, it's too late and they ask those parents why didn't you stop them, they will say I was I trusted my kid and let them make their own choices, and never thought it would happen, but that's what happens.

I would say tell them what you feel and show you're a responsible person. Show them that you will take responsiblitiy to call them, tell them where your going and what your doing, so they trust you. Do after school activies is a way to get involved in friends and without getting in trouble. Do things around the house without being told, doing homework and have good grade in school, talk about things out but obey their wishes. If they tell you can have friends over or they don't want you without supervision, let them come along, be glade, because my dad never let me do that, or have bithday parties or sleep overs at my house or go to the movies. Respect your parents and understand them fully and maybe not now but later they will let you do what you want as long as they see you grow and take responsiblity, understand that. Their just trying to do what's best for you and remember without them you would be nothing. If you had kids, I bet you would do the same thing, because you love them so, your parents show that in their own way, so be glad that they are and respect them for it.

Answer 7

My sister is 17 and she has the same problem. Only thing is she brought it upon herself. She had sort of a rebellion time around 15 and 16 and made some mistakes. Now my parents are very protective. But they are just looking out for her. I know that people need to make their own mistakes but sometimes they need to be protected. She still has a boyfriend and goes to the movies. My mom goes with her but goes to lunch or a different movie. Do what your parents ask, show them you are mature enough and they might lighten up!

Answer 8

as an only child i no how that is... you can't do much but show them that you are responsible... but doing little things around the house like cleaning the kitchen withought being asked... and vacuming and all chores they don't like to do.. i asked my friend about this a few years agao .. she told me to do this and it worked.. also when they call on the phone when you are across the street don't answer in the sarcastic "what" voice.. just pretend like you think they are doing the right thing and being good parents and before long they will be giving you more freedom.. but beware it might be a few months or even up to a year but if it works so what.. good luck ino that sucks! just odn't be sarcastic and you'll be fine!

Answer 9

Time to tell Mum & Dad that you are a big girl now. My parents were the same as yours, in the end i had to tell them that this is going tooooo far. You are virtually classed as an adult, yet still being treated like a 6 year old.
Try & sit down with them & talk it out, otherwise, if it comes to a head, things can( & will) get ugly. Trust me, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Answer 10

I am the mother of a 16 and 15 year old and I do the same thing. I know this sounds unbelievable but you will thank them when you get older. My daughters friends drink and drive and alot smoke and do things they shouldnt be doing. I know I trust my daughters but I dont trust other people. Just sit down everyday and take a look at cnn.com. You will understand why parents act this way. Plus a parents worst fear is that someone hurts their child. I hope you will be patient and show them u r an responsible person. And that they can trust you. Be careful out there the world is full of INSANE people that do things to girls for no reason whatsoever...dont forget to look at cnn.com!