My live-in girlfriend of six months recently told me that she loved me but was not in love with me. Referencing a similar situation with her best friend's marriage, she noted that her best friend was not in love with her partner when they married, but grew to love him over time. Now she is in love with him. So while she's not in love we me (but only loves me) she explains that there is a possibility that she can become in love with me. What's the deal? Does it make sense, to love but not to be in love? What should I do with this scenario? I
2007-12-20 08:19:58 · 7 answers · asked by dominia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow. What a whammy.
It does make sense, though. "Love" encompasses a whote range of things. Shoot, I kind of love my dog.
"In love," of course, is an entirely different story.
Really, it sounds like she's just trying to be nice to you, If she truly cared for you, if she had feelings beyond friendship, you'd know it.
It depends on what you want. Me, I don't think I'd want to waste my time with a woman who didn't love me, in the accepted use of the word.
And I sure as hell wouldn't live with someone who wasn't committed to the relationship, and it doesn't sound like she is.
She may be confused, which is natural. She may perceive you as safe, a port in a storm, so to speak. She may be struggling with her own feelings.
That's ok for a casual gf, but given what she has said, I think it's time for her to move on.
This frustrating relationship is getting in the way of your finding a woman who really loves you.
2007-12-20 08:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by jasper addleton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes sense but there is nothing for you to do. You can not make any one fall in love with you. There is a difference between loving some one and being in love. I can't explain love it is a feeling but you know when you feel one or the other. I found out I was in love with my boyfriend when I almost lost him I did not realized I love him up until I thought he was leaving me forever. That is when I realized how much I cared for this person. As time went on I realized that I did not want to live a day with out him I went to tell him I love him but got scared so I asked how did he feel for me he said he love me and it just came out with out a pause with out a second thought or a single regret I said back to him I love him. I knew then that I had fell head over heels in love with this man.
2007-12-20 16:29:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd ask her to explain it to you. It may not be the same definition as I have, and you may get really worried if you listen to me.
Having said that...here's my explanation...for me..
When you love someone, it doesn't mean there are the fluttery, live together forever feelings. It means you care deeply, you want that person in your life, but it's not as intense as IN love.
IN love is where you write your name, and put his last name at the end. IN love is where you start thinking about weddings, and forever, and happily ever after.
Having said that...IN love doesn't last forever. It usually mellows down over time to "love". The comfortable, get old together, always there and always caring.
Personally, I'd rather love someone and end up with them, than be IN love, have that fade, and not have "love" replace it. Regretfully, too many people are looking for IN love and think that's what has to be there.
2007-12-20 16:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honest answer: if she is not in love with you,you are wasting your time with her.Find a woman who will love you indeed, in the first place.Thousands of marriages end in divorce or cheating,because there was not love in the relationship,in the first place.Good question.If there is not love indeed,there is not deal at all.
2007-12-20 16:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, take a break , HOLIDAYS brothaaaa, why do MATHS noww??
You love her , fine, you trust she wont love anyone , perfect,
just listen to what she says,
its like a person know that she is in love and then assumes to be not in love and then tries to prove that she is not in love but in the end the answer is impossible,
lol I dont clearly know what I just said
But seriously, You can love the person for who they are , but not be in love with him/her, get me??
2007-12-20 16:29:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she's is trying to say is she likes you, she's not being completely honest with you. She has strong feelings for you which is good, but doesn't love you nor is she in love with you but keep your hopes up, your on a good start to making her fall in love with you, Good LUCK!
2007-12-20 16:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Munch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can love anything, you love your mother, but your not in love with your mother. you love your friends, but your not in love with them, but you can be in love with her. its like you cant live without her, shes your number one, you get the butterflys, the shy feelings, the whole nine yards. as when you just love someone, you dont get shy with them, or the butterflys. its a hard thing to explain but i did my best! take your time shell come around :)
2007-12-20 16:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋