my sons father didnt give my son one present to open on christmas day?

Question

i live in suffolk and he is in london has him every other wkend which the courts had to force him to do that. he has a large family and they didnt even give him one present to open on christmas day. i asked why he said he cant afford it. which i was fumming about. i manage to look after my son with no real maintence money from his dad only when he feels to. would you be angry for your child ie my point of view you know its going to be christmas all year long you could of saved and bought a present even if it only cost £5 or less its the thought not the money. then to top it off his large family didnt get him anything they never do every christmas so every year i start buying early so that he has a good christmas under our tree he has alot but its all from me. i dont have a family so im not sure am i a mug or do i have a right to be annoyed for my son what would you do or say. to get a better view of the situation if you want read previous question

its not for me its for our 4yr old son who didnt even get a present off him for his birthday dec 1 let alone christmas

Answer 1

So what. Dad didn't buy a present. Why make it about presents? It's not about money. If the man is a good Dad and he loves his son, then his son will love him and be happy whether there are gifts or not. If the man isn't, then a £5 or £500 present isn't going to make a difference.

I don't understand why it's always got to be about money and gifts. It's like love comes in a brightly-wrapped package and the number of packages equals the amount of love. Truth is, if the guy and his family don't care about your son, there is nothing you can do to change it. If they do however, it's not your job to dictate how they show it.

Answer 2

This is another reason I think we put way too much emphasis on the 'presents' instead of the reason for Christmas. All the time I hear about people getting hurt feelings because they didn't get a gift or didn't get what they wanted or are expecting a gift that is outrageous. You need to start by teaching your son that it's the giving NOT the receiving that makes Christmas special. Don't try to buy your way to making your son's Christmas happy. If he is happy with you the other 364 days of the year then he will ALWAYS be a happy child. The best thing to do is ignore the baby's father and his family and make Christmas between you and your son the best possible. That does not necessarily mean GIFTS!

Answer 3

I have read your other questions and have notice that you contradict yourself. One of your questions you asked how to get your son's father out of yall life because he is an @$$hole. ( and i agree) HONEY if your son is 4 and this is going on then i would just FORGET IT!!! Don't try to make this man be a father to your son. I understand why your mad BUT you are the custodial parent so you take charge. Buy your son something and say its from daddy just because he is young and he does not understand what is going on with his dad! Don't make him take your son every other weekend you don't know w hat he is doing with your son especially if he does not care. I am sorry you don't have any family members to help you through this but you decided you wanted a child rather if you picked the right man or not is another story YOU BE MOM AND DAD and even SANTA! The fact that your baby daddy does not know how to be a dad will catch up to him one day, because your son will realize that in a nick of time!!! Sorry about that and i bet your son will still have a great Xmas!!!

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

He has an obligation to your son and should pay child support what is wrong with him And yes your son deserves a gift no matter what it is the child will grow up knowing that he was not thought of by his own father that's just sad how that happens start making demands on this father to be more active in your sons life it not hit the road ,You can buy a present extra for your son and just put it from dad just so your son does not feel left out or call his father and ask him to contribute money for a gift

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Think only about your kid, forget that man he truly doesn't care for his kid... If ever he really cared and couldn't afford a gift, I'm sure he'd have found a way to get him a present (even a very cheap one) or even spend some great time with him to replace the gift he can't afford... or a phone call saying father xmas is late... whatever there are so many things that could be done...
I'd be you, I wouldn't have told anything to the kid and bought him a present that came from his father... he doesn't have to spend a sad xmas because of a bad adult.

Answer 7

Christmas isn't about the presents. I grew up poor and usually received food for Christmas. But now things are better and we just don't do Christmas presents because people are thinking and making their children think that Christmas is ALL about the presents, but they keep telling themselves, "Oh we really know Christmas is about Jesus" But who really honestly cares about that, all anyone thinks about is presents presents presents. And to prove what I'm saying is true just walk into a mall, videogame store, or anything like that and see HOW many moms and dads are wasting HUNDREDS of dollars on gifts for their kids. You don't have to spoil the crap out of them. Maybe give them food, or something they need to survive and not some stupid toys they'll forget about in 2 months. If you want to really spend money on your kids a birthday is more like it, Christmas was destroyed by corporate America trying to make some stupid money so they interfered with Religion and started to give gifts. Also my point proving is Hannukah. They never used to give presents until their jewish kids came home sad from school because their Christian/Catholic friends got all these presents. Basically don't worry if your sons father didn't get him a present, he probably isn't trying to make your kid feel bad, Idk. Just don't worry about getting kids Christmas presents and worry about spending time with the ones you love because we don't have enough time on earth to enjoy the presence of each other, not worrying about presents and material things that mean nothing in a month or two, but the only things that last a life time if FAMILY.
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Answer 8

I would be annoyed by it. However, don't stress about it unless your son brings it up to you directly. My guess is that over time your son has come to have low expectations about his father and though he may have been hopeful to get something and disappointed that he didn't. Don't feel like you have to overcompensate for a "deadbeat dad" your son will learn to know that he is loved by you by the way you treat him in general, which has little to do with the number of gifts Ol' Saint Nick delivers.

My suggestion is to be annoyed but don't let it get to you too much. As long as you provide a warm, supportive place for your child(ren), that is what is most important.

Answer 9

Its a very sad situation. Your son's father is just not interested.
You and your son are on yr own, so u will have to plan and do everything for your son.
Yes u have the right to be angry, but dont waste yr energy with his father or that family just you and yr son get on with life and make the best of it. Yr son will judge his father one day. Make friends elsewhere and cut yr ties with his hopeless father and his family.I hope that u and yr son will try and have a good Xmas and all the best for the New Year.

Answer 10

Instead of being angry, just make sure that your son's feelings are protected. One day he will see his dad for what he is.

I think you have the right to be angry, but it may backfire if you let your son think you are angry at dad all the time.

My mum simply let us know, as it came up in conversation, that my dad never paid a single support payment. I heard from other people that he's a lazy slob - that he was good looking and charming when he was young, to meet his lazy ends.

In time your son will know the sacrifice you make and that his dad hasn't. If his dad genuinely can't make ends meet, then your son will see that too.

Try not to stress and I hope you and your little family have a wonderful Christmas day - you sound like you deserve it.