Me and the father of my child have been having major problems with his drinking. At this time we are not living together because of some other problems involving the police. But me and my 10 month old little girl are living with my mom & her b/f. He is living with friends. Last friday he gave me $50.00 for child support. And he is suppose to be paying on bills that he had in my name and ran up while I was living with my mom. But He went out again last friday and spent his whole pay check!!!! I had $50.00 dollars put away that he gave me for bills two weeks earlier he told me not to take it yet because he wanted to put more to it. well monday night he calls me up asking me for the money back because his friends that he is staying with needed for thier lights because they were going to turn them off if they didn't pay something.when he came for it the next day i wouldnt give it to him. He started cussing me said he wasn't gonna help me with anything else. I dont know what 2 say 2 him???
2007-12-20 07:40:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i would say stop dealing with him for a while or go through the court system and get yourself together because once you start working and doing your own thing his fifty dollars wont be able to do anything for you and you wont have to depend on him or wait for him to change because more than likely he wont... girl take it from me when me and my daughters father were having problems i wasnt working and he was all i had to think about and had me stressed... now that i have a career and i have put my daughter first in everything i do i feel like i am getting somewhere and i plan to move somewhere where he wont be able to have easy accesss to me and my baby. i am soooo much happier. get on your grind and leave him alone
2007-12-20 08:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by tricey757 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything to him. Things are not going to get any better. He is now drinking his whole paycheck away. You need to get out there and get a job if you don't have one. You also need to screen his calls.
#1... Close any accounts from the previous house you shared with him... pay them off. Keep track of them and use them to file within the divorce settlement.
#2... You need to file for divorce. Even if you were living together, that is counted as common-law marriage. You need the divorce because he is still having an impact on your credit, and you need that all separated out in the public records.
Hit the local bookstore and get the latest do-it-yourself divorce guide for your state, and then download the documents from the state website.
#3... Go to court and file for child support... that way, your husband's work will deduct and send the child support through the courts to you... with all of it documented. You can do this at the same time you file for divorce, or to this now and handle the divorce later.
2007-12-20 15:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are in such a bad situation. However, I am going to be real with you - YOU put yourself in this situation. So, YOU have to get out of it if you want a better life for yourself and your child. A REAL MAN would never treat his girlfriend and child this way. So, you need to move on with your life and find someone who will treat you right. I would also go to court and make sure that your child is only allowed supervised visitation with your baby.
Good luck and remember the quality of your life is determined by the choices YOU MAKE!
Oh and to answer your question - Tell him that you are not an idiot and you know that he will just use the money on booze! And, tell him that you will go to court and will have child support garnished from his wages since he wants to be irresponsible.
2007-12-20 15:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to file for child support.
Do not let this ruin your credit. Anything that has your name on it is your responsibility whether he said he'd pay it or not. If you don't make those payments it's YOUR credit that will suffer, not his. He is extremely childish and will not step up to help you until he spends some serious time growing up. Don't count on him ever. You will manage. But first and foremost call the family court and file for that child support!
2007-12-20 15:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my lord! Honey, this is one heck of a mess! First of all, if you have anything with him (as far as a bank account), close it out immediately. Second, file an order with the court for child support. Thirdly, file an order so that if he comes to your mom's house and harrasses you or tries to put his hands on you, the police will take care of him.
2007-12-20 16:19:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sherita H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to sue him for the money he owes you for the bills, and you need to take him back to court for non-payment of child support. Steer clear of him if he's an alcoholic, your baby doesn't need that kind of childhood. And as for what to say to him, tell him that the way he lives is not your problem, your daughter is your only concern. DO NOT GIVE HIM THAT MONEY!!!
2007-12-20 16:11:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mieshah H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mess to begin with. Police trouble, living apart, drinking... In order to recieve proper support for your child you need to take him to court to file for child support. If you don't it seems that this is going to keep on happening. I hope that he has a good job.
2007-12-20 15:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by ~Sara~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being too nice in considering giving that money back. Tell him that you had to use it on something that his child needed. You need to step up and go to court so he can pay child support.
2007-12-20 15:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by you suck. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a difficult situation. All you can really say to him is to leave you alone. All I can say is look out for yourself your baby and your familys interests first. It sounds to me like he is living his life and using you in the process. You just have to get away from that and live your own life. I know this may not sound like much but I do hope it helps.
2007-12-20 15:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by mustang2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been too easy on him. If push comes to shove-you'll have to take him to court and get them to demand child support. It's obvious he isnt able to provide for you and your son. This cant go on forever. Maybe it's time to stop talking to him and take some action. If he continues to curse you out, maybe it would be time for a restraining order. Talk this over with your parents and do what's best for you and your baby.
2007-12-20 15:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by phlada64 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋