My 5 year old is in kindergarten right now and i have had enough with his school. When my son was a baby, he had numerous ear infections for years. For the longest time, his hearing was like hearing under water. When he started preschool, it seemed like things were finally getting better. He started talking a lot better, with help of speech therapy. He learned his alphabet and numbers. Unfortunately, when we moved to a new city and he started kindergarten, things seemed to get worse. Even though he seems fine at home when we read books, count, etc, his teacher seems to see things in a different light. She says that my son knows nothing, even things that he has known since preschool. I don't trust his teacher at all. I just had a meeting at his school and they talked about my child like his was dumb. I know that he is not. I am considering homeschooling. My husband and I are tired of all the crap. I think he would benefit better one on one. We live in Southern NJ. What should I do?
2007-12-20 07:31:21 · 22 answers · asked by Melissa T 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Home Schooling
Allow me to tell a couple of stories which might help you decide...
A few years ago, my mother in-law passed away. We "inherited" boxes and boxes of old paperwork...
Included in these boxes were the educational records of my brother in-law who is now in his 40's.
This man dropped out of high school and never completed his GED. Today, he is unable to hold a job and depends on welfare and help from surviving family to get by.
Here is a summary of what his educational records showed through the years:
- in first grade he was "diagnosed" as learning / developmentally challenged.
- he was put into a special education program all through elementary school
- what he learned was that he "was somehow disabled" and not capable
- in middle school yet another evaluation conducted by the school system stated that he was intellectually capable of correct grade level work but he was "lazy" and thought himself incapable (I wonder where he got that idea?)
- in high school yet another evaluation was conducted by the school system and once again found him capable but this one blamed the parents for the child's challenges. One example cited was that he was driven to and picked up from school rather than being allowed to ride the bus. He was constantly bullied on the bus and the school would do nothing. That is why his parents drove him. They even recommended the parents voluntarily send him to a special education boarding school?????
I have to comment: The spelling and grammar on these reports from "professionals" was absolutely atrocious!
When we announced to family that we were going to homeschool, this man was present. He bowed his head and very quietly and despondently said: "I wish that had been an option for me."
----
Our own situation was almost opposite of this. Our son was put into the gifted program in public elementary school (he was in a private Christian school through 3rd grade). At the end of one year, the gifted teacher bragged about their big accomplishment that year - learning 10 new vocabulary words! The expectations even of "gifted" students was astoundingly low.
In public school my son developed social anxiety / social phobia - he was regularly being made fun of by both teachers (I'm not kidding) and students , he started to actively downplay his intellect.
There is not a chance in *You Know Where*, that we would trust the public school system to help (e.g. conduct any kind of evaluations or make recommendations). We sought professional help outside the school system. Both a medical doctor and a psychologist recommended that we get him out of that bad environment.
We looked into private schools but decided to homeschool. Our only regret is that we did not start sooner or even from the beginning!
He is now a happy kid again, has a better social life than he ever had in public school, is excelling academically and has a very bright future!
Don't listen to the critics who claim that "socialization" is an issue! That is just so untrue and I personally believe from real life experience that the exact opposite is true!
Our son participates in co-op classes, clubs, youth group, camps, etc.
I think people often confuse innocence and social (in)ability. My 14yo is still pretty innocent and I personally think that is a wonderful thing. He'll be "worldly" soon enough and once innocence is lost it is lost forever.
2007-12-21 02:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a homeschool support group in your area to talk to others about homeschooling.
Homeschool only if you are committed to making it great. Are you willing to do this for the long haul? Next year's teacher might be different. Do you enjoy being with your son? Are you willing to be his full-time guide? Then do it.
If this is something that you feel is really best for him, do it now. The longer he's in the public school system, the harder it can be to change certain habits. It's also just easier to homeschool from the start, or as close to it as possible, as the academic demands and routines are minimal. You build from there. I've known a number of parents who started thinking about homeschooling when they're kids had started school and they waited and waited until it got really bad. They all wish they had pulled them out when they'd had the original impetus to do so.
Btw, your son doesn't have to be socially isolated. There are undoubtedly a variety of homeschool and community activities available where you live. I'm sure you already know that homeschooling doesn't have to mean sitting at home 24 hours a day with mom and dad. Get him involved in lessons, clubs, scouts, anything! There are probably all kinds of homeschool field trips and other activities going on near you that he can participate in, too. People who naysay homeschooling because of the "social stuff" really have no clue what they're talking about. Just keep that in mind. :)
2007-12-20 08:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by glurpy 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Homeschooling sounds just right for your son, because remember even if you get a better teacher no one can give your son the love, care, and attention that you can. But homeschooling is a big time job and so you should research it. Find out if there is a homeschooling group in your area so that you can stay hooked up with other homeschool Moms and your son can make new friends. Also visit HSLDA ( Homeschool Legal Defense association ) to find out your states legal requirements.
I have been homeschooled all my life and have no regrets, I can concentrate on learning, have lots of fun, learn a lot, and still have lots of friends!
2007-12-20 10:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by learn4fun 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Before I discounted the professionals you may want to consider another evaluation outside of the current school. I have no objection to home schooling at all as long as you are certain you can maintain objectivity with your child and any special needs he may have. I hear you when you say "all the crap" as sometimes the over testing and special needs issues are over done and getting involved with extending the teaching in the home can get a child through this very well.
He is five. He will do alright with the love and attention you are giving him so hang in there
2007-12-20 23:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ya Ya Vegas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely home school your son! Public school teachers won't take the time to focus on your son, they have 30+ other kids to teach. You on the other hand can give him your undivided attention. If you see that he knows things that his current public school teacher says he doesn't, he is probably not comfortable being away from you. He needs his mommy right now! Be there for him and home school him!
Note: Another reason he doesn't seem to do as well in front of the teacher is he has a different style of learning than the way that is being taught.
2007-12-20 14:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by cowgirl_kate121 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you have the proper materials and have the time to conscientiously work with the child, it is extremely improbable that you will not have greater success at home than in a formal classroom setting. With his present hearing issue, I would not hesitate a minute in opting for home school.
The likelihood is that he will make more rapid progress and be more secure in his foundation than if he were in a school.
Is it possible for you to find another or orther little people whose parents are considering the came option? It would provide collective direction and support as well as an important social aspect to life for the boy. There are times in the life of a child when each day is really about best friends.
2007-12-20 07:56:17 · answer #6 · answered by john s 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Please, please home-school your child. Please protect him in the formative years of his life. No one will know, love or understand your child more than you do. Schools aren't bad places, most teachers aren't bad people but you are the best teacher he will ever have. Don't doubt your own abilities. He was learning in the best environment possible for him, his home. He was taken out and now has begun to struggle so I think the answer is clear. Keep doing what you were doing. Remember, modern day education is fairly new in terms of time. How did people learn before there were schools? They learned from their parents but especially their mothers. So be encouraged that you can do a great job with your child like no one else can. They don't even appreciate your son so why would you leave him in there to be ridiculed on a regular basis. Doesn't sound like a loving thing to do. I was a public school teacher and even I know that it's not the place for some kids. So do what you feel is right. Your feelings sound accurate and you should not dismiss them.
2007-12-20 07:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Steve K 2 · 13⤊ 3⤋
Homeschool!
It's been wonderful for our kids, and it's likely that once your child has a 'record', that the teachers will pass this on from year to year. I've seen it over and over with my own kids and the dozens of families that I've advocated for in public schools.
Good luck
2007-12-20 08:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
From what you're telling me homeschool would be best. I personally think homeschooled kids turn out better anyway. But not forever maybe just until high school
2007-12-20 07:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
well i had a son who had the same problem so we moved just to get another teacher but if you want to try somthing different talk to princible talk to your son talk with other kindergartin parents and kids to see if they have the same problem
2007-12-20 13:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jolene M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋