Girls, did you have a good relationship with your father when you were a kid?

Question

My dad is a good man, but when I try to think about the happy times we spent together, nothing comes to mind...I mean, it's almost as if I had been raised by a single mother.
I played soccer and softball, played piano and the flute, but my father never came to any of my games even when we won the regional championship or to any of my concerts. He did however found time to coach my brother's hockey team.
I went away to college and he never called me or even sent me an email. He's not abusive or anything but now when he tries to talk to me like he would to any other adult, I feel like I'm talking to a complete stranger, am I the only one who feels like this?

Answer 1

No, some dads can be harder to get close to, especially for girls. My dad is a great man and a wonderful father but we can only really talk about sports, cars or money. He worked a lot and didn't focus on getting really close with us, he just wanted to make the money to take care of the family. Why don't you share your feelings with your dad, let him know that you feel like you don't know him very well and that you would like to get to know him better. I wouldn't focus on the past and what he didn't do for you then, just let him know you would like to be closer now. Some men in the older generations just didn't connect with their daughters that much, but that is changing and I'm sure he sees that other men are close with their daughters. Maybe he would welcome the opportunity to bond with you more.

Answer 2

Well lets just say that for as long as i can remember my dads been a truck driver. Though, for a little while, he was a ranch hand. I remember at the age of 5, he took me out on the tractor with him. He was plowing the field. Not to far from the field was the cattle. So he told me to go around in circels so he could check the cattle. I didn't go very far by my self though. Daddy came back. But you know, i'll never forget that day. The day my daddy let me plow a field. I was and still am, at the age of 27, daddy's little girl. By the time i was in 3rd grade, daddy started driving truck. Sooner then that actually. He was gone 6 sometimes 8 weeks at a time. But he never missed anything big. My graduation, confermation, wedding, he even showed up the next day to the hospital after i had my kids. Now he still drives truck, but he's home everyday. I've been dubbed his right hand man. He runs a corriente ranch. We raise roping stock for rodeos. There are 4 of us kids, but he choose me, and i choose for him, to teach me everything there is to know about ranching. I love my dad. Yes i wish he was around more when i was growing up, but i know that he had to do what he had to do to put food on the table for mom and us 4 kids. And at the time where we lived, truck driving was the best paying he could find.

Answer 3

Me and my father were really close when I was young. We strayed away from about age 15-19 and now we are really close again. I think that fathers just deal with situations differently than mothers, so in your eyes you may think he was not there like your mom was. My parents were divoreced when I was 12 and I decided to stay living with my mom. At 15 I moved in with my dad and alot changed. I guess it was different living under his roof. At 18 I moved out on my own and at 21 we became very close again. He owns a business and it has always seemed like that came before me, but now that I am older he and I have an understanding.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, you are definitely not the only one. However my experience was the opposite. My father had four daughters and took us fishing, camping, ice skating, motorcycle riding, frog gigging. He taught us how to drive, took us to the movies, out to eat, travelling, swimming, diving ------ he was absolutely fantastic. I literally married a man just like my Dad because his devotion and parenting was so influential in my happiness and all of my successes and self esteem. We girls never felt that he showed our brother any more attention than we got and he taught us more about feminism and equality than we learned any other way because he believed in us and backed us 100 percent. I feel awful for you because this connection makes life so much richer and I believe it changes the way women view men and man/woman relationships. Sometimes when fathers get older they regret that they did such a poor job with their daughters and try to make up for it by reaching out later in life. I suggest you welcome this oppotunity to get to know him, even thought it is late. You will never regret that you at least tried, especially when he is gone. And try to be forgiving, but at the same time when you measure a man for a lifelong commitment and the father of your children-- bear this in mind and choose wisely. Be well, good luck to you.
PS - Thanks for the opportunity to state once again what an awesome human being my father was, I too lost my Dad to cancer and have missed him every second of every day since.

Answer 5

My Dad was NOT a good man. He was distant and cruel and vindictive to my Mom and me...and then to his second wife and son. His own father was a cold, religious, verbally abusive man. My Dad and his brother had no chance, and my cousins and brother have problems similar to mine. It was a terrible childhood...and I was not sad when he died. That's okay. I liked what Deani has to say here... start in today to build a stronger relationship... I think you've got some good things going for you! Leave the past in the past! Good Luck and Merry Christmas!

Answer 6

Of my dad's 4 daughters, I'm the one who is closest to him - the only one who can tell him a spade is a spade as it were. At 84 he still terrifies my sisters.

Dad was a tough guy to love - but again for some uncanny reason, he and I hit it off - much to my mother's dismay (she's very shallow and has to be the center of all attention).

My mother and I are not at all close.

Answer 7

Not at all! I can only remember my dad giving me one compliment only once in my whole life! Same here, was involved, but he was only involved with my brothers stuff.

I'm 50 years old. He has only came to visit me one time!! Him and my step mom, showed up and said they'd had plans to go to Nevada, but was too much road construction,so they decided to stop by!!! Nice huh???

He only met my 2 oldest kids when they were 9 & 10 only time he seen them. Then 5 years ago, he met my 2 youngest for first time. I went to his house. I'm a black sheep they hardly ever call never email oh well, guess it's his loss not mine!!

Answer 8

I so have the same problem all except for my dad is crappy to put it lightly. My dad came to my graduation drunk. And he only came to my graduation because of a bet. Growing up I was involved in a lot of activities but he never came to any of them. Life sucks when you don't have that father figure. When I got engaged my fiance never even asked my father for permission. Everyone tells me that one day he will hit rock bottom and change, but I am beginning to think that there is no rock bottom for him.

Answer 9

I think this is something you should discuss with your father, this may infact be the thing that finally brings you closer, honesty and expressing how you feel is the best policy and im positive he dosn't know hes behaving this distant toward you, maybe he just dosn't know how to react to women other than his wife, and mayyybe you'll find out who your real father was and go on oprah and get tons of cheesy, Free stufff!, or the first bit ..>.>

Answer 10

I had the best relationship with my Dad. We did everything together, thats probably why I grew up as a tomboy. Everyone called me Daddys shadow. I miss him terribly, lost him 12 years ago to cancer.