how to make my parents trust me?

Question

I have done a pretty big trouble before (1 year ago) and did the same thing again and again. Now my parents doesn't even trust me. i know that i deserve it but i want to gain their trust and gain some credit. I want to reverse what i have done. I need to gain it in 1 year.
please help me. I'm so grounded right now that i can't even use the computer and they confiscated it from my room.
I was grounded 1 year ago.

for your information i do not do crack. I am a model student in my school

Answer 1

You have to not only do what they ask/tell you to do, you have to do things that they would like without being asked. You have to do this for as long time without asking anything from them. After you have acted this way for several months, ask to be able to do something very small. If they say no, don't argue with them. Just keep doing what they ask of you and try to do even more. Then a few months later, ask for something small again. When you are allowed to do something small, do exactly what you asked to do. Don't try to get away with anything. In fact, try to do less. If they say you can stay out until 9:00, try to be home by 8:30. If they say that you can go to the mall with a friend and that friend cancels, don't do something else with someone else. Let your parents know that your friend canceled and that you are going to stay home.

You used the term credit which is a good analogy. With credit, you get a little bit at first. When you show that you can be trusted, you get a little bit more. So, you have to show that you can be depended upon and that you can be trusted. You have to earn this trust through your action. There really isn't any short cut to trust.

Answer 2

I would sit down and talk with your parents. Or, if talking usually leads to arguments, write them a letter. Explain to them why you regret your past actions, and what you've learned from it. Tell them you want to change, and you want to be responsible. Most of all, that you're sorry you let them down and that you want to earn their trust again, if they're willing to give you a second chance.
Everyone makes mistakes, it's called growing up. Now is your chance to show you've learned from them. 1 year is a long time, it's time they give you a chance to fix your mistakes.

Explain that you realize trust can be earned back in a day, but ask to come up with a plan. My suggestions: get a job (again, I don't know how old you are; if you're too young to work, you could offer to do extra chores around the house or offer to do some community service/volunteering).
You have to be responsible to have a job- show up on time, work hard, be polite, etc. Plus, you'll be able to earn some money at the same time. It's a great way to show that you're trustworthy.

Then, create a plan to slowly give you back some rights. Maybe you can go on the computer for half an hour a day, while it's in the same room as your parents. You can go out once a week, if you're parents know where you are, who you're with, and you can't break curfew. Work hard at school- improved grades are another way to show you're serious about being responsible.
Ask your parents what other things you can do to show that you'e changed.

I know this doesn't sound fun, but these kinds of small steps can slowly gain your parents trust. Eventually, you'll have more freedom, a better relationship with your parents, and be a more responsible person.

Answer 3

Trust is earned slowly. You could start by talking to your parents, explaining that you realise you were wrong in whatever you did before, and that you understand why they don't trust you. But that would just be a starting point - they don't know if you're going to let them down again.

You need to be very reliable if they're to trust you - like if you agree to do something (or not do something) make sure you keep your word. Also you could try doing all your homework on time, helping in the house, keeping your room clean, and generally showing that you're more mature.

If you're grounded from the computer, how did you manage to post this question?

Answer 4

Well Allen , what ever you have done must have been bad to still be grounded , but what you need to do is Show how you have improved by whatever means , if your grades are Low bring them up , if you don't help around the house do so and you need to make sure you don't make the same mistakes .And if anything , if the people you were hanging out were the reason why you got in trouble in the first place then I believe you should find better friends well i hope this helps

Answer 5

Wow...a year's a long time to be grounded.

Generally, show that you can be trusted--do what you're expected to do. Call when you're going to be late. Ask before going out. Make sure your obligations are done--homework, chores, etc.--with a minimum of reminding. Avoid temptation by literally staying out of its way--toss anything related to it if you can, don't go back to places where you know you'll get in trouble. I don't say don a halo & try for impossibly good, but aim for general goodness. And for Heaven's sake, stay away from whatever it was that you did again & again!

I know some of this sounds overwhelming, but if you're in as much trouble as you say, it may take drastic measures to get yourself right in your parents' eyes.

One last thought--they will remember what you did wrong & your bad behavior for a long time, so slip-ups in your turn-around are likely to greeted a little more harshly. It will be held against you for a long time. They'll be afraid you're on the downward spiral again.

Answer 6

Well from now on, you must do right very day. NEVER FAIL. You must always do the right, honorable and HONEST thing. NEVER LYING AND NEVER BETRAYING ANYONES TRUST, if anyone actually trusts you.

It must be pretty bad. But I would have grounded you for a long time also. Since you continued to do the same thing over and over and over again.

Once you lose trust, it takes a loooonnnnngggg time to get it back.

I will give you a line my Father used to say when we would say we were SORRY about something.

"SORRY DON'T FEED THE BULLDOG" or sorry means absolutely nothing. Actions, not words prove the kind of person you are.

Answer 7

Your parents have every right not to trust you - you've proven again and again that you can't be trusted.
So now you need to prove again and again, with your actions and not just your words, that you can be trusted. Set up restrictions for yourself that prevent you from doing the bad thing, and then find a way to make up for the bad thing and repair the harm you caused. Demonstrate your responsibility in other ways, too - take your commitments seriously and keep the promises you make (do your homework on time, do chores without leaving them till the last minute, etc).

Answer 8

If you can't use the computer..... how did you submit your question?.....HHHMMMMMM..... What ever you done sounds pretty bad if you ask me and you kept doing it over and over. The only way to earn their trust is to quit doing what ever you were doing, follow their rules exactly.... and work hard to show them you are truelly sorry for what you done and want their forgiveness and their trust back. it is not easy... you have to work very hard with little or no slips at all. that even means... if they took the computer away.... get off of it and stay away from it unless it a school required assignment, but get your teacher to write a letter to your parents so that they don't think you are trying to decieve them.

In the future, respect your parents rules.

Answer 9

Want to gain their trust? Then start following their rules. If you are grounded from the computer then how are you on here? It may seem like a small thing to you but using the computer probably seems like just another example of you breaking rules and disrespecting them.

Answer 10

maybe you should not think first about the credits or whatever compliments you will get if you will gain their trust again. instead, think ways on how you will prove to them that you are willing to change without any return. do something that will impress them. we all know that it is not easy to gain trust but they are still your parents and i am sure they will trust you again if they see that you have changed for good.