I am 18. I have never been to school and have been in a mentally abusive home my entire life. I have no family and my father is non existant. I have always taken care of my mother. Cooking, cleaning, washing her clothes. She is helpless and a alcoholic. I met my boyfriend when I was 14. He did website work for my mom. We were friends but he drew a line I was forbidden to cross. When I turned 18 I told him my feelings. He conceided that he felt feelings for me but he wanted me to go to school. In the past 11 months I have felt more love and compassion from this man than anything I have ever felt. I have dated guys but they only want one thing. This man loves me. I know it in my deepest part of my soul. I feel the same for him. I cannot bear to think of a day without him. He wants me to go to school and is taking steps to get my GED and get me in college. I don't party, Drink, do drugs. I have seen their impact on my life from others. I want a life with no one but this man. I'm in Love
2007-12-20 05:58:36 · 29 answers · asked by jessphillips89 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My sister who left at the age of 18 taught me to read and write. My boyfriend Loves me for me. I can talk to him in a way I cannot talk to anyone. I do not think of him as a father and he certianly does not think of me as a daughter or a wife in training. He makes sure I know that If I want to leave I can and he would be there for me as a friend. I do not want to leave. There is a bond between us I can not explain. My soul feels at rest with him as does his. He has never been married and has no kids. His friends like me and I like them. His family Loves me and tells me I am such a wonferful thing for him. His grandmother even told me I reminded her of her and her late husband. They were 12 years apart. It was hard for him to be with me at first because he was afraid I was with him as a father replacement. I will go to college. I will do the things in life I never thought I could. I will do them because he makes me believe I can do anything. and no matter what He will always be there.
2007-12-20 06:23:13 · update #1
I don't know why some people have such a hard time believeing that I am so very in love with him. Nothing has changed in the 11 months we have been together. We still talk about all the silly little things. There are so many small things we share I cannot start to explain it. I am not asking if I should be with this man. I know in my heart it is the right thing. Being with him is the only thing I know for sure. When you find the person that makes your soul complete, That man that makes you laugh in the middle of tears, who makes you smile on the saddest of days, there is no question. I just wonder why those that are so adamant about us being apart think like they do. Life experience. I have had tons of life experience. I have raised a mother and Myself. I live next to a college campus. I have been to party's. I have dated several guys in differnt age groups. Sometimes people, there really is such a thing as true love.
2007-12-20 06:29:13 · update #2
Your a big girl now and the final choice is yours. Please be careful of one thing. As I read your question it has the appearance of someone fulfilling the replacement of a father figure or someone who has a crush on a teacher or other authority figure ( he drew a line i was forbidden to cross). If you can assure yourself that this is not the case, well your a big girl now.
2007-12-20 06:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by Larry S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You love him because he cares for you the way noone else did before. Is it true love? Loving a father is true love. Sounds like you need a daddy and he is playing this role for you. He is a good man since he did not take advantage of you when you were 14, however he jsut might be "raising a wife" for himself.
Age difference is very important when you are a teen and the other person is much older. He has life experience over you, and will ultimately tell you what to do and manipulate you. You two will never see the world through the same eyes because he is an adult and you are not there yet.
Get your education, learn about yourself and figure out what you want from life besides a husband a and babies (everyone wants that) dig deeper!
BTW, I got married when I was 18, my xhusband was 29. It was "love and all" and he was the greatest, caring blah blah blah...3 years later I had no identity of my own, spoke and thought with his words. He also manipulated me and I was miserable. When I left him, he tried to get me back for a year! It took me quiet a while to learn who I really was, what MY opinions were and what I wanted from life.
I am not saying it's not possible, but age does play a big role.
2007-12-20 06:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think age matters at all (unless it's illegal). Love is love and it's an emotion that can't and shouldn't be controlled. If you love him then screw anyone who thinks otherwise!! Don't let what other people say put you off if you truly love this man. If getting your GED will bring you closer to him then try your very hardest to achieve that goal!
My boyfriend is at university and I am so deeply in love with him. He's almost 20 and I'm almost 18 (I know it's not much of a difference but it is for some people) and we both want to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to get into the same university as him and I have been working on that goal for the past year (despite the university having higher entry requirements than I can meet) but I have worked terribly hard and it's come to the point that they are going to look at my application.
Love isn't something that you can ignore; it's something you should embrace. Use it as motivation to make you stronger.
Good luck =)
2007-12-20 06:07:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sukisumi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You never mentioned how old this man is, which is a VERY large piece of info to leave out. Speaking as a
couples therapist you're motivation in this relationship likely stems from the fact that it fulfills your needs such as not having a father, and not being taken care of by an essentially absent mother, etc. Is he the first man, or first person, that ever showed real caring and concern for you? Also, are you essentially running away from your previous existence?
Another huge red flag for me is your age. You're young, there is no rush. Also, once you consider your motivations for engaging in this relationship, what do you think his motivations are?
These are all important questions to ask yourself.
2007-12-20 06:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful story. My longest relationships have been with men about twenty years older than me. Just be sure you really love this man as a husband and not as a replacement dad. Are you ready to raise kids of your own? Are you sure he wants you for a wife and not as a daughter? Sometimes having a husband who treats you like a daughter and not as an equal partner can be a real pain in the ***.
I fell in love with my boyfriend's friend who was more than twenty years older than me because he was so much nicer to me than the guy I was dating and I was attracted to him and jealous of any girl he liked. When I told him how I felt, we ended up in an awkward friendship where he kept telling me that he did love me, just not 'like that' and I tried to just be friends without kissing him or fantasizing about an "us" that existed whenever he finally did love me 'like that', Finally, he just couldn't stand it and we can't talk anymore. Hope that doesn't happen to you. I have the same problem with my dad.
Listen to him about the GED and college. It sounds like he wants to ensure that you make something of your life and not just be a housewife.So, only time will tell where this will lead. Its a good start. Love comes in many forms. My husband is more than 13 yrs my senior. I found one that does treat me like an equal at least some of the time and he listens to me.
2007-12-20 06:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have to realize that age is just a number. Now I am 24 and my boyfriend is 49. He and I have been together for a year and 2 months. We even have our own apartment.
I sympathize with you because of the torture you have dealt with in your life. My life has been a terrible one too until I met my man.
I say go for it no matter what, let noone tell you that your to young for him. As long as he's single/not married, and he treats you great there is no other reason you shouldn't be happy.
Who cares if people look at you weird, that's life. Be happy you have someone. Don't let weird looks, or the talk get you down. Go for your man girl!
2007-12-20 06:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Sissy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dunno what peoples problems are! My parents are ten years apart! They met when my mom was 18 and my dad was 28...and they got married! My aunt and uncle are twenty years apart! My other aunt and uncle are 8 years apart! I like a guy that's 3 years older than me...we had been going out and his parents didn't like that but we stayed together! Now he's dating someone else but we still talk and flirt and everything! Don't think about what everybody else wants you to do! Except go to school! You know you don't sound uneducated but you know! Be strong! Do what you think is best for you! Be confident...don't take whatever your jealous parents say! Yes I think that they are jealous! You have this future to look forward to and they have nothing! Do you best to make something of yourself and then try to help them! And if you believe that you love this man then he will do the best for you! Think about it! He knew that it was a bad idea to get involved with a fourteen year old and he waited until it was legal! So why are you scared and why are you asking for help! It sounds like you have everything under control!
2007-12-20 06:13:11 · answer #7 · answered by lizardlip_14 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a friend That did all that for her mom too, and she also, did not go to school because she wanted to take care of her very sick mother. she fell inlove at only 19 years old with a good man that is 26. he also wants to help her out to get her GED. So I dont think age difference should matter, if your inlove... your inlove, nothing can stop you sweetie :) I feel for you! I really do.
2007-12-20 06:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most classical stories are somewhat tragic. If you look back in history, even most lullabies are pretty gruesome and dreary. More than likely because the sun-shiny idea of life and love of today is generated more by the need of most people (particularly in Western culture) to feel "good". Trust me...if you read the originals of a lot of those fairy tales, you'll find that even Hans Christian Andersen and the Brothers Grimm had their morbid moments:)
2016-04-10 09:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how old is your boyfriend?
It's great that this guy has been such a wonderful influence. But even if he is the BEST part of your life, don't let him be the ONLY part of your life. You are still young and have so many wonderful things to experience and explore - don't limit yourself.
2007-12-20 06:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋