He is very secretive with his phone, has it on silent when he is with me so I don't know when he gets text messages. I know he gets text messages off a woman but dont know what they say.
Never answers the phone when I ring him.
Has gone off sex.
Has taken the photo of me out of his wallet.
I really trusted him and never thought he would cheat on me until a few months ago.
2007-12-20 05:54:47 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My answer is not going to be very typical. I have been cheated on before and when I confronted him he denied it, made me feel guilty for accusing him and broke up with me, only to find out that my intuitions were true MONTHS later.
You know what I suggest? Play with his guilt. Don't accuse him of cheating, instead tell him how AMAZING he is, how lucky you are to have him and that you trust him so much!
Tell him that one of your friends thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her, and tell him "I am so glad that you would never do that to me. You are wonderful...blah, blah, blah." Watch him and his body language. See how he reacts. Does he ask a lot of questions about how your friend "caught" the guy she's with?
I know it sounds like a game, but seriously, if I could go back in time, this is what I would have done.
2007-12-20 06:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by Adee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well something is definately odd in this relationship but 3years is a long time to just knock it on the head.
Confront him and if he admits cheating you need to decide whether you can really forgive him, if you couldn't forgive him you may as well forget him.
However, if it is genuinely innocent, eg he could be arranging something special for you hence silent phone, not answering calls, then you need to look at the relationship and think about why you are so insecure.
As for the going off sex, if he is nervous about something (maybe a proposal) that would have an effect.
Maybe he took your photo out of his wallet to have enlarged and framed?
Try to be optimistic, you could be worrying about nothing but you won't know unless you ask.
xxx
2007-12-20 14:32:31 · answer #2 · answered by dms*157* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ruth 10 Uk If something smells like fish then it is. I would suggest you grab the bull by the horns and tell him he can be castrated! I wouldn't give him the time of day to be honest, he right now has his cake and can eat it to. As long as you put out , and put up with he has nothing to lose. It's time to move on, and stop being used! Your boyfriend is no longer your boyfriend as you suspect. Your strong your young, and your capable of and more deserving of better. Good luck dear there are those that give us that are honest and loyal, a bad reputation. Mr right is out there. You will find him. Kick his a-- out and move on! Good luck and have a very Merry Christmas! I will keep you in my prayers, as I would only want for you what I would want for my own Kidz.
2007-12-20 14:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by mandm68 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He is definitely cheating on you. Why else would he remove your picture from his wallet and not want sex? He is getting the sex somewhere else and doesn't want his other woman to find your picture in his wallet. He doesn't answer the phone when you call him, and has it on silence when he is with you. He is hiding another relationship. All these "signs" coming together all at once point to "GUILTY." You deserve better than this. He is lying to you and to the "other woman" as well. He is no longer to be trusted. Move on. You deserve better.
2007-12-20 14:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by soupkitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hun, you really need to talk to him over that. i had the same experience with my bf whom i've been with for over 3 years. i noticed sumthing different bout him at first, he had less interest in me, didnt like seeing me much, he ignored phone calls and text msgs when he was with, bla bla.. all different. I asked him a few times bout the changes but he denied it, i asked him if he still loves me and he said yes, with all his heart and soul and bla bla. that he loves me, only me. but there's a voice inside me that kept telling me sumthing is wrong and guess what, a year later, yes, it took me a long time to finally know, he was really flirting with another girl, and i only knew it from a friend! god! i was shocked, frustrated, upset, angry at the same time! how could he! i talked to him, he still denied it at first but then i told him that i've already talked to that girl (which i really did) then finally he confessed. but no emotional attach or physical contacts he said. he asked for forgiveness. he was being a fool and it was a big mistake, he said. he promised he wont do it ever again if i gave him a second chance. it's so hard to trust a man who have betrayed you, but i forgave him. love is blind, huh? dont know if it's right or wrong, i decided to give him another try, and now we've been together for more than 4 years.
see, all i'm saying is that he could be doing it, but most importantly, get him to talk. and try to find out what's not right about the relationship together. after that, all is up to you. no one can tell you what to do, which also wud include whether to trust him or not (if it really is real). like me, i'm still struggling even tho it's over a year already. good luck lady...u're gonna need that..
and oh yeah, trust your instinct!
2007-12-20 14:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Nonie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! My husband of 12 years did exactly the same and i looked at his phone, finding out that he had indeed been having a 'phone relationship' with someone else. He says it was just 'friendship'-yeah right! friendship that was kept secret from me and that has probably ruined our marriage. Good Luck!
2007-12-20 14:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by rosiejo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry hun not proud of but i have cheated befor and thats all the signs of it very secritive of his phone keeps it mute takes out the pictures dosent want to love on you as much when you are around him look for hairs that isnt yours smell him see if he smell like a girl and check the body you will be able to tell if his had sex by smell
2007-12-20 14:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by Scott Walker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love RaChi's answer. She is so matter of fact because the facts are what they are. The only point is disagree with her on taking him back. Dump his sorry *** and then flush. Don't look back. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Just be glad your not married to the SOB.
2007-12-20 14:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Neandrathal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he is and you need to confront him and tell hin you not having this. If he changes thats good because three years is a long time and if he doesn't then you have to move on or accept the fact that you're not the only person in your boyfriend's life
2007-12-20 14:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
after 3 years,you should be quite confident in asking him whats going on,and why these things are different,ask him straight up and he should answer you convincingly,if not,interrogate whats going on and question him until he tells the truth ,if not, you have to decide to leave him .as a saying goes ' if you think there's something wrong,there probably is'
2007-12-20 14:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by =)) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋