What should I do for christmas? I wanted to go to my parents house for the holiday because my whole family will be there. the only problem is my mother, all my life she has told me that I was a mistake.....that I should have never been born. my big sister past away last year in a car wreck, and yes, my sister was my moms favorite child. My mother told everybody that she wished it was me that died that day. But my father wants me there for christmas, he loves me and really wants to see me, but my mom is soo mean to me and says bad things about me infront of all my family. she did that last year to me while I was there, it was the worst christmas ever. so should I go? or should I make my own plans and not go?
2007-12-20 04:39:49 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why don't you call you dad and give your mother some time to miss you?
2007-12-20 04:43:28 · answer #1 · answered by ∂ιαиα †Matisyahu† 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is tough and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this... If it were me, I would go to see my Daddy. You never know when it will be the last time you will be able to see him. You should have probably dealt with your Mom and confronted her a long time ago on the things that she is saying. When she makes her little comments (and there probably will be more on this visit) you could say something like, "Mom, it's Christmas, everyone knows how you feel about me. Let's have a good visit and enjoy the day." I don't see how she would be able to say anything to that... After the holidays are over though, I suggest that you have a conversation with her and tell her honestly how the comments that she says makes you feel. After all, it's not your fault she's here, it was her choice to bring you into this world.
2007-12-20 04:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by tlwren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your dad loved you as much as you say, he'd stand up to your mom and tell her to stop criticizing you. Actually, he should have done that a long time ago. How can one parent stand by when the other is so cruel to one of their children? Unacceptable!
Rather than having a terrible day, why not invite your dad and some of your friends over to your place for a pleasant get together. Even if it's just hot chocolate by the fireplace, it's better than enduring your mom's abuse on Christmas day.
Perhaps staying away for a few years will send your mom a message.
Good Luck.
2007-12-20 04:47:29 · answer #3 · answered by I_Walk_Point 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should go. And if your mother starts hasseling you, you need to stand up to her and say that you know how much she wishes your sister was here, but she'll just have to get over it and settle for you! If she says things about you in front of the family, apologize to the family for her ignorance. Simply say that your mother isn't in her right mind, so please forgive her insane behavior. Yes, stand up to her. Let her know that you will no longer accept such ridiculous behavior from her. Then she'll learn to keep her big mouth shut when you're around. If she gets upset and wants you to leave, that's fine. Give your father a hug and tell him you love him, but you will not tolerate your mother's disrespect anymore. And when this woman says you shouldn't have been born, tell her that if she hadn't opened her legs, you woudn't be here; but thanks anyway! I know that sounds bad, but you've got to shut this woman up; and the only way to do it is to make her look like a complete idiot! Stand up to her and she'll leave you alone. She's been putting you through hell, and it has to stop! Your father should have shut her up a long time ago. Since he can't do it, you'll have to do it yourself. Don't be afraid. Let her have it with both barrels. You might not get a second chance!
2007-12-20 04:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't imagine a mother saying that to her child or anyone else for that matter! I would talk to your father, tell him you love him very much and would love nothing better than to be with him and the rest of your family, however last year was your worst Christmas ever and you don't wish to repeat that. Maybe get his advise or opinion on the situation if you feel he would be truthful and not try to pat you on the head and tell you that your feelings or the situation are not valid. Whether you go or not go is up to you, if you feel you could prepare yourself for a situation with your mom, be ready for the worst but hopeful for the best. Or start a new tradition, take yourself to a movie, out to a buffett, hang with friends.... The decision is YOURS! It is YOUR Christmas too you know, your life, not hers. :-)
2007-12-20 04:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by Shasta O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ryan C...I'm not sure if you were joking but my grandmother told my mother that she should have flushed her down the toilet and my uncle told his son (and the whole neighborhood) that he should have died instead of his brother. So, this sort of psychological abuse isnt far-fetched.
As for your question, I would suggest going to your parents house for you father's sake. I remember always having the spotlight @ family gatherings...it reached its height one Christmas and I ended up muttering and walking out. So, if your mother starts something, excuse yourself and leave. Have a back-up plan--maybe to a friends house, for example. If things start to get heated, you can go there and still enjoy Christmas.I didnt have one. But, I wish I did. I would also suggest making some attempts in the future to tell her how she has hurt you. You would feel alot better once you get it out. Good luck! I hope everything works out.
2007-12-20 04:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by Nickie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're under 18, I would say hit her.
Everyone daughter wants a mother, but if that's how it's going to be, guilt trip the witch, call her out for being a horrible mother, really want to push it find a way to blame your sister's death ON her. Then cut her out of your life entirely, as if you're the one too good for her, not the other way around.
Then find a new woman to play a motherly role in your life, possibly a best friend's mother. Real mothers are always willing to share their love, find a better mom :)
2007-12-20 04:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by encantasia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is the case know make your own plans and explain to your father why you really uncomfortable about coming maybe your father can stop by to see you next day but Christmas is a joyful time don't go just to make someone else happy!
2007-12-20 04:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by troubled 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How very sad for you. No, I would not go and I would tell my dad why. If I were you, I would meet my dad like for lunch or dinner and have a really nice visit. If you go, your self esteem is going to be knocked down. Just tell your dad that you do not want to go where you are not welcomed and that you do not enjoy being ridiculed in front of all the family. Tell him that this makes you physically sick and that you are not going to put yourself through this. I do feel for you. Good Luck.
2007-12-20 05:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Sherbear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to subject yourself to such psychological torture? I understand the need to see your father, but this is too high a price to pay. I would suggest just meeting with your dad a few days before or after Christmas to celebrate together, without your mother.
On Christmas, do something fun that you want to do and surround yourself ONLY with people who adore you! You deserve that. Good luck!
2007-12-20 04:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by Shelby R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your father was a man, he'd pop your mom in the mouth. I find all this rather hard to believe but, in the spirit of fairness, I'd send a card and pull a no-show. Who needs to be some mad woman's punching bag for Christmas? You'd probably find better company among strangers.
2007-12-20 04:44:04 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋