She has had a very different past than myself and it really bothers me to the point where I keep argueing with her about it. It's ruining the relationship. Am I just insecure?
Thank you.
2007-12-20 04:00:37 · 15 answers · asked by Dr. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's just that I don't fit the kind of person who I would expect her to go for, so I don't deserve her..
Thank you so far..
2007-12-20 04:09:45 · update #1
someone past is the window to the future---i think you are justified---sure she can change but it will take time for you to trust her----i would not just jump in close eyed to a relationship with someone that had a bad past and sounds like neither do you----play it smart and keep your eyes open--hopefully she will change for you but if not at least you will know soon enough into it
2007-12-20 04:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by sean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Ronnie. Your not alone in this situation, many people feel as if they are inadequate/insecure, when talking to there girlfriends / boyfriends about past relationships. But what you have to remember is that is the past and no one wants to live there life living in the past. You have a girlfriend it is the future you should be looking at. If you continue to argue over the past there is a good chance you may lose her and others after her. What people have done in there past is there concern, if they want to share it with you it is up to them, and if they do it's because they want you to understand them as a person and not to leave skeletons in the cupboard. She has told you the truth where others may have lied, that must mean something to you. The future is ahead of you the past is behind, look forward and move on. Best of luck Peter
2007-12-20 05:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by The Honest one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past some more sinister than others. I have a similar problem with my past haunting me but what you should understand is that we also want to forget about our past and concentrate on the future and until you put the past behind you, where it belongs, because that's what it is, the past, history. you cant move forward. i would advise you leave the past where it is and move forward with your relationship today
2007-12-20 04:11:40 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is an insecurity. I used to get hurt hearing about my girlfriends past, but I realized that is all it is: her past.
Arguing about the past that you had no involvement in is ridiculous. Your arguing is only hurting your relationship.
There's a reason why her past didn't make it into her future, so let it be.
2007-12-20 04:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shut up now! How can you argue with someone over their past? It was before she met you! Was she just supposed to not live her life and think 'hey...i better not do that becasue in the future a boyfriend might get jealous...'
Get a grip....stop being so insecure before she dumps your pathetic a*s!
2007-12-20 04:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by Munchy Mooneo 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ya ur being a lil insecure. But I had the same deal with my ex. She had a wild life before she met me. I didn't have a big problem with it. She made me believe she changed. Especially when we became pregnant. She wanted to settle down with me she said. Well after we had our son and she got her body back she went back out partying and started cheating on me.
2007-12-20 04:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being judgemental towards her.
you have the problem not her.
whenever you argue with her, its you thats the problem, not her.
take your problem somewhere elase where you can do something constructive with it.
yahoo answers can help you aknowledge that you have this problem.
its possibly something to do with your upbringing, and it still dont get you off the hook here.
maybe you arev just being self centred about this.
of course this maybe something of a sexual nature.
thanks for being open and honest, but please try and have some empathy for yopu girlfriend, after all she has chosen to be with you, and you her.
done shame her, be loving.
pray for yourself to get over being judgemental.
maybe you are making a risk assessment.
or maybe the real problem is you, so be brave and try to take this problem where you wont get distracted, and start to transfer your feelings onto your girlfriend.
you are o.k. your girlfriends o.k.
2007-12-20 05:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by meditation and mango juice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to let the past affect your present and future. We all make mistakes. She's with you now. Think ahead, not back.
2007-12-20 05:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why argue about what has already happened. it's her life not yours. learn to be more accepting of her. not everyone has the same life experiences so lighten up a lot. what is the point of fighting about something you have no control over....
2007-12-20 04:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by OR 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YES. Trust may be an issue here though!
2007-12-20 04:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋