My secular immediate family is hosting a dinner for my mostly religious extended family next week. When my immediate family visits our relative's homes, we're asked to join in prayer (hold hands, bow our heads).
But what is the protocol for this coming event? Are we, as hosts, expected to continue this custom? Should they, as guests, know to pray silently or individually?
2007-12-20 03:56:12 · 18 answers · asked by Eleventy 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I usually sit quietly when someone wants to pray before a meal. I respect their desire to do that. That doesn't mean I have to pray with them. There is nothing wrong with a moment of silence so that they can do their thing.
2007-12-20 04:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by Trina™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, technically you could simply ignore it when the time comes. Your house, your rules and all that.
However, as a good host, you could still be gracious and respectful of their religious beliefs by saying "Would anyone care to take a moment to bless the meal?" There's no harm in blessing a meal, and I don't see how it would infringe on your right to refrain from practicing religion. You could even lead it by simply stating "Thank you to the Earth and animals that gave up their bounty to feed us at this feast tonight." That's not a prayer, per se, and it's still acknowledging a blessing on the food.
2007-12-20 04:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by ♛Qu€€n♛J€§§¡¢a♛™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By agreeing to host a meal, your family has agreed to the social obligation of not making guests feel bad. If you go ahead and eat, or call them out by saying, "well, pray if you must" then they will feel bad. (If you were at their house and they tried to force you to pray out loud, they would be equally guilty.)
Some people solve this by saying "let's take a moment to think about what the holiday means" or something equally harmless so people can either pray silently or not at all.
It is very thoughtful and kind of you to care about their feelings. Holidays would be so much nicer if more people did that!
2007-12-20 04:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-08 23:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try what I do, which is simply to wait for evreyone to be seated, and then tell the cook it looks good and begin serving. That breaks the awkward moment, yet still gives someone else a chance to interject with 'can we say grace' if they want to.
For special occasions, I've even gone as far as simply to ask the most religious person there to lead grace. Even though I'm an atheist, I know this is the expectation of most.
2007-12-20 04:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Those of strong religious bent-remember--render unto Caeser the things that are Caesers--in other words give respect to the rules of the household you are entering. Any atheist worth his salt is not going to be concerned with a devout person wishing to silently ask what they need ask--they simply don't want to have to participate or deal with these inane rites. If they enter into a home of such a person, then do what they wish--to themselves and silently.
2007-12-20 04:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
good question, i've never thought of it the other way around. when i go other peoples' homes and they engage in prayer, i basically stay silent, and if they hold hands, i hold hands too. i'm not very public about my non-beliefs and don't want to make it weird for them. i can handle holding hands for a few seconds better than they could handle finding out i don't believe in god, so i just deal with it.
however, if i had religious folk in my home, i would expect them to pray to themselves silently, or if they'd like, they can make a toast in thanks as long as it wasn't full-on religious. i would expect them to respect the fact that i'm under no circumstances praying in my home. so, you can beat them to it by making a pre-meal toast thanking everyone for being there and blahdy blah. they can either take it or leave it, it's your house, your rules.
2007-12-20 04:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by SpiderDijonRevisted 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a right and wrong answer to this question but more importantly whose toes are you willing to squish to be right? Will your guests be as gracious and tolerant as you were? Will the guff (oops make that reaction) that results be worth being right? Only you can decide the cost/benefit ratio of this transaction.
2007-12-20 04:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Mike B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While Alan is technically right, I also see no harm in allowing people to hold to their own customs. What could it hurt to let them enjoy their prayer before dinner? You certainly wouldn't have to join in but forbidding it seems needlessly imposing.
2007-12-20 04:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by t_rex_is_mad 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think the guests should not expect the hosts to conform to their way of doing things. Guests do not have the right to make that imposition.
2007-12-20 04:01:56 · answer #10 · answered by Todd 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋