My husband has received several gifts and is now in a position where he feels obligated to reciprocate. I had already told my workmates not to get me gifts because I don't do Christmas gifts. What is the right thing for my husband to do?
2007-12-20 02:42:09 · 31 answers · asked by af 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, we are not Jehovah's Witness. But that's beside the point.
2007-12-20 02:49:15 · update #1
This is tough. I feel in the same boat. I don't really like to do Christmas presents. It really has become quite ridiculous. It is hard to find a decent gift for 20 bucks. I don't think we are supposed to go in debt at Christmas. It just doesn't make any sense.
If your husband feels he has to reciprocate(just remember, if he does, they will be expecting gifts again next year, if you don't give gifts, next year they might get the hint)you could always do something different. Google "World Vision". Take 100-200 bucks(it will save you in the end, cards and wrapping paper and what not)and buy a village some goats, chickens and pigs. You could send out a Christmas card saying that on behalf of your family and friends you have halped a village this Christmas.
It seems a lot better than spending 500$ on gifts and then you know your gift really did help people.
If that isn't your cup of tea. Bake or make homemade chocolates. You would have to buy Christmas containers, and then give homemade goodies away. You definately know that they will get eaten. I might make perogies this year, and buy a cow and chicken.
The way that Christmas is so commercial, it really has lost some of it's meaning. If we did gifts like this, we might be able to help the true meaning of Christmas survive.
2007-12-20 02:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Crazy_Fool 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can reciprocate without getting something that has to do with Christmas. Although there are some people out there that just give gifts and don't expect anything in return. If there is a religious reason behind not celebrating Christmas, I suggest that he make that known. Most people are very understanding about these things. I am actually glad that you have the attitude you do, instead of acting offended that someone gave him gifts. I am sure it was well intended. Good luck.
2007-12-20 02:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by TKA0427 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't reciprocate - instead bring food to share. Explain you just don't exchange and next year they will probably just leave you off the list. Do this all with a genuine smile and thanks for what you have received.
If you do give a gift this year, the cycle will never stop and you have then set a precedent. Grit your teeth and make the decision this year and next year the others can do whatever they wish.
Personally, if I give a gift, I never expect one in return. I give for the pleasure of giving.
I can understand why some people don't choose to partake of religious festivities, if their beliefs are different than the majority. I would hope that no one would be made to feel uncomfortable for not participating in events.
2007-12-20 02:46:41 · answer #3 · answered by Contemplative 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Telling people that you "don't do Christmas gifts" surely leaves many with the feeling that you are either a little odd or else you are very mean. If you have this policy, it would be the decent thing to do to refuse any gifts you are offered. I am in England and - aside from religious reasons - have never heard of anybody with such a way of thinking. Americans are generally thought of in England as being generous and good hearted
2007-12-20 03:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just give a Christmas card! Just because you receive a gift does NOT mean you are obligated to give one back. A thank you and a card should do it. People shouldn't give gifts with the expectation that they will get something in return.
2007-12-20 02:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by gigi 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Graciously accept the gifts. Say, "Thank you very much, that was very thoughtful of you." Since you have already made it clear that you are not buying gifts yourself, don't feel any obligation to do so. If those that bought gifts for you are offended, then maybe they need to take a lesson in giving and why we do so. If your friends are truly friends they are giving you gifts because they want to, not because they expect anything in return.
2007-12-20 02:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by Lucy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same position. I make sure that my Co-workers know that i do not celebrate Christmas and that sometimes stops them from gift giving. Sometimes they will give them to me in advance or after and because they know my position on the matter, they dont expect anything.
Dont feel alone, there are many that dont celebrate xmas whether out of personal choice or religious backgrounds, just explain urself to ur coworkers, the worst thing u could do is compromise ur feelings
2007-12-20 02:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by BIG TIM 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would feel as your husband does. I give gifts to a lot of people who don't reciprocate, but I always reciprocate if given a gift. I just like giving gifts and letting people know I appreciate them.
2007-12-20 02:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should have done the same. A lot of people do not expect gifts in return. I give small things to certain people at work and have never gotten anything from them. That's not why I got them something. I like to do it so I do. He could just thank them and explain.
2016-04-10 09:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't he just give them a trinket? It's much better than trying to make a point nobody will care about anyway, and you don't know how these things can come back to haunt you in the workplace. I brink in homemade chocolates for everyone--this way, I get to both make candy (which I love to do) and give gifts (which I also greatly enjoy), and my coworkers are v happy (they start talking about it in the summer!)--it doesn't cost much, and I feel happy that I'm spreading the joy!
2007-12-20 02:59:44 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋