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My husband may be influenced by the co-workers or radio shows he listens to during the day - not sure. He drives around all day and is with guys all the time. But the past few months he has made a lot of sexual comments even in group situations that I feel are not appropriate. How can I break him of this disgusting habit quickly?

2007-12-20 01:46:22 · 14 answers · asked by Contemplative 6 in Society & Culture Etiquette

14 answers

It doesn't matter what he has been influenced by, the fact is he is being uncouth and embarrassing in front of his spouse and putting you in an indefensible position which reflects on you and your marriage. Be polite and subtle about it and sit down with him and discuss what he is doing. And tell him, firmly, what you can and will do about it when he makes such comments in front of you, knowing you don't like them, and knowing they are inappropriate. Tell him off in front of people when he does it, and warn him that you will continue to do so until he shuts up. Men who behave like this because of their buddies, will NOT like being emasculated by their wives in front of people. He will stop, very quickly. But at least you will have privately given him the chance to stop this behaviour and he will know that.

2007-12-20 02:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Guess you are past the cut him off quickly if you've let this go on for months. Guess you'd better sit down and have a heart to heart. Of course, he might just tell you to take a walk, so be prepared for the possibility that he is not happy and his speech is reflecting that.

2007-12-20 01:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You should not view it as "breaking" him...that will cause resistence on his part. Inform him that some of the things he has been saying make you feel uncomfortable and that maybe he should restrict them to when he is just with the guys because if you feel uncomfartable then maybe other women feel uncomfortable and they dont know him as well as you do so they might make a judgement that is not correct based on on eof his jokes or comments

2007-12-20 02:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 1 0

Simply communicate with him how you feel about this. Bring to his attention specific instances where he said something inappropriate and explain that it embarasses you. Ask him to keep the raunchy humor in the locker room or the golf course!

2007-12-20 02:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by Katie G 6 · 1 0

My husband does the same thing!!!! I hate it! So emabarssing. He still does it to this day I have no idea what to say to him. Ive asked yelled and cried and get no turn about. I think it will take another guy saying dude that way to much info for him to stop.

2007-12-20 02:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by * 3 · 1 0

Tell him how you feel and tell him that you hope that he'll understand. You two are one. There should be no cut off in communication. You should feel whole and open to him. Both of you guys should have some standard guidelines (Bible/Christianity) and if you do then re-awake them to him but if not then you have to just tell him how you feel. Let him know again that love is more important than being funny. Funny is often secondary..and sometimes rude and if there is no love in it..it becomes pointless. I'm having trouble with this myself, supressing a joke to show love or kindness or even patience. These jokes might just make him feel a little better through ego..(just a thought). All in all, talk to him and..does he talk to you? Once again, he is supposed to be giving his whole self to you. You know what? I got some great links for you. Please read them and give them to your husband. I hope they help you and change your life =)
And help your husband! :)

How to be a Godly Husband (Its good if you read it too! Its useful for both sides of the relationship, and don't forget to read the comments at the end of each page!)

http://faithandpractice.blogspot.com/2006/04/christ-like-love-of-godly-husband-part.html

http://faithandpractice.blogspot.com/2006/04/christ-like-love-of-godly-husband-part_07.html

http://faithandpractice.blogspot.com/2006/04/christ-like-love-of-godly-husband-part_10.html

http://faithandpractice.blogspot.com/2006/04/christ-like-love-of-godly-husband-part_11.html

http://faithandpractice.blogspot.com/2006/04/christ-like-love-of-godly-husband-part_13.html


Oh and..here is a comment for one of those pages/blogs.

Well said! Excellent post!

When my wife and I were going through premarital counselling (a process I recommend to any engaged couple), one of the most useful bits of advice was this:
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It is a 100/100 proposition.

If you look to marriage as the husband and wife giving equally, you'll start to "keep score", comparing your effort to your spouses. But instead, marriage is giving 100%, flat out, all the time. What a freeing, glorious image of marriage!

(I'm still trying just to keep up with my wife. I'll never outgive her!)

Thanks again, Matt!

2007-12-20 02:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by Alexandru 2 · 1 3

Sit down with him and explain that you find his comments offensive. Then explain what you intend to do about it, for instance, if he continues you will simply walk away from him every time he says something objectionable. Then stick to your resolve. Eventually, he will get the message.

2007-12-20 01:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 5 0

Tell him that is ok when he is just with the guys...but in a social situation, it makes him look like an immature, low-class a@@.

2007-12-20 01:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 7 0

Talk to him about. Not saying anything isn't going to help.

2007-12-20 02:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0 0

Just tell him that it's inappropriate and embarrassing and he needs to stop.

2007-12-20 01:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by _I_love_warm_bananas_ 4 · 3 0

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