To My Dear Husband:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't ***
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was ,"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
2007-12-20 01:32:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
stop it, your scaring the single people who want to get married someday, geez, lol. Well, at least your still married, that's at least something to be grateful for I guess. Perhaps you should drink less watch the football game on Monday only, the other sports on the weekend, stop mast**** or at least take a break for a while and 4 play with your wife more to get her ready before you are and finally, accept the fact that your MARRIED, she's not going anywhere and is apparently willing, so why are you so desperate as if she's not there to have sex with, I mean chill out, dude. At least she's not giving you the "I have a headache" routine, so chill out and get some viagra or something, good luck.
2007-12-20 01:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by Nathaniel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant pmsl 10/10 x
2007-12-20 01:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very Funny Chris have a star
2016-05-25 04:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-12-20 02:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny.
2007-12-20 02:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by .... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-12-20 04:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a lie. i know you better than that.
ive never complained!!
2007-12-21 04:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm
2007-12-20 01:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by kalai 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not funny
2007-12-20 01:50:49 · answer #9 · answered by Shawanna W 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your wife has Spunk!!! :)
Very funny comebacks got me cheered up Thanks!!!
2007-12-20 10:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by Babette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋