i have 2 boys 13 + 7 and twin girls 11. im a single parent with no family support and my kids run rings round me. over the years ive done the behaviour charts, ive taken their favourite things away, grounded them etc i really have tried it all. they are not naughty as such they just have a lack of respect and wont stick to any rules. ive shouted and ive sat them down quietly and explained in detail why we have rules and how much easier life is if we stick to them.i feel im fighting a losing battle and im making myself ill, i dont eat or sleep and im stressed all the time.please help before i really lose the plot. i dont want my kids to have a distant relationship with me when they are older like i have with my parents.i love my kids so much and only want whats best for them.to them im nagging but i just want them to have a better life than ive had.why does that come across as being so wrong ??
2007-12-20 00:27:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel sorry for you. It's hard to be a caring and loving single parent and to feel that your kids don't respect you. I see only two strategies as things stand now - either become authoritarian or agree to be your children's best friend. Given the fact that three of them are approaching puberty, changing your style to being a drill sergeant might not be possible any more. So why not give up on demanding respect and nagging - just let them do as they want, advise them but let them do as they want. Don't do chores for them. Hopefully they will find out soon that certain ground rules are necessary for a happy and comfortable life together.
Best of luck!
2007-12-20 00:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not too late to get things under control.
1) Take the jewish mother route and guilt trip them to death.
2) DO NOT negotiate with them. Ever. they will think they have leverage in everything.
3) Remember, there will be plenty of time to form a more equal relationship with them when they're adults. Right now, they need stern leadership.
2007-12-20 09:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by Entropy is for sheep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously never disciplined them enough when they where babies which is why now when they are 13 they don't respect you and think they can call the shots,Raise your voice at them and point your finger at them and if you have to, hit them, show them you are their mother and you run the show not them,There is no father around also which is why the 2 boys can get away with stuff do you still talk to your ex husband?Tell him about their behavior and tell him to have a word with them,
2007-12-20 08:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look no parent wants to do this but you have to its called discipline, you know were they get spanked on the behind.
try this i will assure you that your kids will start taking you more seriously. your child might even say they hate you but trust me its for there own good.
2007-12-20 08:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by sockasmama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Heart goes out to you it is tuff to get them to listen to you
there are ways and I would like to recommend a book
Redirecting Children's Behavior
it's going to be tuff at first but stick to it and you will see a change
good luck and keep us posted
2007-12-20 08:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it take time so I think u should make up a lies that if ya kids don't behave I will leave somewhere else and never come back
2007-12-20 08:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The odd slap never goes amiss ....
2007-12-20 08:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋