how to cope with my 11yr old son?

Question

i dont no the best way to cope with his his constant moods when things dont go his way hes cheeky slams doors kicks walls fights with his brothers and he thinks hes not doing anything wrong i no besides this hes very loving giving but it seems like hes only like this when things are going his way

Answer 1

.You need to discipline him .He is trying to assert his authority over you and his brothers etc so you have to reassert your own authority over him And explain to him that if he carries on this way he won`t get his own way .If he acts up then ground him ,Give him more responsibility as he is now old enough to know right from wrong. Be hard on him now or you will end up with an out of control child.

Answer 2

He's approaching puberty, so his hormones are probably running wild and making him moody - a bit like PMS but worse as he's young, and doesn't understand it.

You need to sit down with him, when he's in a good mood, and explain that it bothers you when he behaves certain ways. Ask him if he knows what triggers it - maybe he gets bursts of anger, or perhaps has a bad day at school and takes it out on his brother. Tell him he can talk to you about anything, and that if he feels angry he can always go and punch his pillow to let it out of his system.

Also, is he getting enough exercise? He may need to go for more walks, or take up some new sport to channel his energy. And is he eating healthy foods? Some colourings or other additives in processed foods can trigger mood swings and outbursts.

The other thing is to make sure that he's getting enough hugs and general attention. It's hard changing from a child to a teenager, and he needs to know, every day, that you love him as much as you ever did.

Answer 3

Regardless of the "new" theory that spanking is bad. Keep in mind there is a big difference between a spanking and a beating. No child should be beaten. That being said, after the talking, time outs, etc., don't work sometimes a spanking is all it takes and generally it only requires one spanking. Allowing children to go un-controlled with no discipline and allowing then to get away with anything without any punishment. Only creates young adults that will think the same way and that the laws, rules, etc., don't apply to them and they can do whatever they want without fear of punishment and end up being in trouble or jail. One other thing. You must be consistent, if you tell him no T-V for a day because of his actions, you must stick to it and not allow any t-v for the day. You have to mean what you say or he will not respect or have any regard for what you say.

Answer 4

i have the same thing with my daughter and have found that by cutting out all sweets fizzy drinks and only her having water has made a great improvement. Also try omega 3 tablets they taste a bit fishy but are well worth it. I also give her bach flower remedy which you drop on the tounge. Plenty of fruit and veg also helps. Maybe you could find out about a boxing class or martial arts to get rid of the anger. good luck x

Answer 5

I agree with what has already been said, it does sound like he needs clear boundaries and discipline. He needs to understand that for every action their is a reaction or "consequence" which he is responsible for.

But and more importantly when his behaviour is apropriate make sure you tell him and if he deserves a reward then give him one, but don't go over the top with this just a gesture that will show him what is acceptable and what is not.

If his siblings are behaving apropriately compliment them when he is around and if they deserve a reward make sure they get one and make sure he is aware of it.

Good Luck

Answer 6

my sons been like for years hes 14 now. hes better now . some of it is just being a kid. my son would but holes in the walls. fight with sisters throw things. hes been on medication for adhd since he was 6. but until we found the right one he didnt get better and age to. when he was 13 he got in my face. he wont do that again, im saying some of this is age and maybe see a doctor.

Answer 7

He needs to understand what is wrong, he is at the age where he is pushing you to see how far he can get before getting into trouble.

I suggest you get his brothers to help you and when he's naughty and unable to control, you ignore him. It may sound cruel but if he gets away with it for too long it will spiral out of control and will only get worse.

If you cannot ignore him, try and reward your other children when they are good and he is not, this way he will learn that being nasty to others doesn't get you anything.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Hmmm. Not enough info to go on here. Does he have a prominent male figure in his life? I believe young boys need a strong fatherly figure to set an example and offer Constant Guidance, Discipline, and Companionship.

Answer 9

cousin is like that. he hits stuff. he'll be in amood and talk to someome on the phone and be nice but as sone as he is off he is mad again. he was on anti depresents that helped a little bit. he has depression. if the dad is in the picture let him take your son for a little while(only if you trust him though) And you do something to calm doing like if you like to nit, croushea Something that will calm you nerves. No achool please. If this keeps going on when he is older. and he starts yelling at you, you need to go into another room not talk to him, let him cool down. THEn talk to him. If he follows you say i will only talk to you after you stop yelling and you let me talk with out interuption. sorry but i hope i helped.

Answer 10

He is having a hard time dealing with his feelings of frustrationa and disappointed. Dr. Becky Bailey has a great book and audio CD on this subject. Go to her web site at Conscious Discipline.com. Her program has changed my life and my children are learning to control their emotions. She has helped me to see myself and how I handle my emtions and stress. I've been reading and studying her books and going to work shops for 2 years now. She is awsome and funny because her topics hit it right on the spot. I have all of her audio cd. It will teach you to understand and help your son with his temperment and feelings. Good luck and wish you and your son well.