is it wrong to ask my wife to convert?

Question

I am a open minded Christian and have taken her to church a few times. When asked to convert, she said" The truth is what goes around, comes around. The rest has no proof. She is Buddhist.

Answer 1

It is wrong. You should just respect her and her beliefs without trying to force yours on her. Doing so demonstrates a lack of respect towards her. You shouldn't have to be the same religion to love each other.

Answer 2

Directly? Yes, it's wrong to "ask" your wife to convert, in the same way it's wrong to ask you to declare that you believe in the Easter Bunny. If she converts, it should be a recognition of her own epiphany, not a submission to pressure or a request by you or any other person.

As a couple, it's probably a good thing for you both to look seriously into one anothers' belief systems and discuss the matter at length. But the goal should be understanding, not to try to 'convert' one another, for the same reason that the goal of an argument should not be to 'win.'

If a conversion occurs, that's great. But if all that happens is you understand one another a little better, in a healthy relationship, that should be just as fine.

Answer 3

True conversion is something that takes place within each person on an individual basis. It is a change of heart that makes one believe a certain way. A person does not simply 'convert' because another person says it's a good idea. If you choose to share your beliefs, and she believes them, then good for you. But you can't force conversion on another person. The Catholics tried to do that a few times in history, you might want to read up on how that went.

Sometimes it's not always best to be right, sometimes it's best to make peace.

Answer 4

I would have talked about faith and conversion BEFORE the marriage. Religion is one of those issues that can cause large arguments and possibly divorce, especially after children are born. Whose religion will they be raised under? Those who 'raise them in both' aren't really raising them in either, IMO. How could you say that both Christianity and Buddhism is correct, for example? Sure they are both good religions, but how are each parent going to present them?

This is why religious issues should be settled ahead of time. Preferably, both parents are the same religion. If they are different, the children could be confused. If one is religious and the other is not, they might say "why doesn't mommy go/believe/whatever?" It is difficult.

So I don't believe it is wrong to ASK, but I believe it would be wrong to ask her if she did not believe. It would be more important for her to REALLY convert then to do so just to do it. Otherwise, she would be guilty of false witness (IMO).

Perhaps it would be better to ask her to study your faith and take it from there. But be ready to study her faith - she might view it as adverserial if you wanted her to study yours, but not vice-versa.

God bless and good luck!

hiddenstar - I could say the other way around, don't you know why so many people hate non-Christians? Because they keep telling the Christians to shut up or whatever. I can agree with your basic premise in that some Christians have little idea how to talk about religion well. "convert or go to hell" is a horrible way to present your faith. It is better to explain it, discuss and talk. I enjoy learning about other religions (Wikka and others) simply to understand what they believe. But you are doing exactly what you accuse us of. We are asking people to convert because we believe it is the truth. You are telling us to stop because you believe your view is the truth. Stick point, eh?

I suppose it is better to say: Please discuss your faiths calmly and fairly. Poor communication on either side only hurts.

Answer 5

You can ask her, and apparently have, but she has to come to the desire herself. Otherwise, it will be meaningless if she just converts to please you. She has to come to the knowledge that what she's doing religiously is not the way God wants us to worship Him.

It would be more meaningful if you had a Bible study with her and showed her, in God's word, what his expectation is for her life. If you don't know how to go about this you can ask your minister, or one of the church leaders to help you. Because as you probably know, "faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans, chapter 10, verse 17

I would question the statement where you say you're "a open minded Christian." What does that have to do with leading her to God? In love we lead; not thru coercion. You can't force anyone to do anything. Especially not religiously. As important as religion is you want your wife to come to God willingly. Don't you?

Answer 6

It depends on what religious group you're inviting her to join to.

Make sure firs that the church where you attend right now is the true church, otherwise you'd just be misleading her.

But for the Christians in the bible, there's a statement of Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:14, 16

" For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy."

"For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

A christian can be a way for his husband to know Christ.


For more information, please visit

http://esoriano.wordpress.com
http://www.angdatingdaan.org

Answer 7

You should have asked her that before you married her...asking her to change now that she is you wife is kinda rude now wouldnt ya say?... why dont you convert to her religion, if its unity of beliefs your looking for?...conversion comes from God.

i am christian but i am also a woman and men and women should talk about important issues like this before leaping into lifelong commitments...i made the same mistake..married an idiot who claimed to be christian but in fact he didnt believe Jesus to be the Son of God, Second Person in the Trinity.

Answer 8

Don't try to convert Buddhist.
Buddhists believe in their way and don't like to be bothered.
I am one. My husband also an open-minded christian.
Sometimes I went to church with him just for his sake, but the more he asked, the less I went. Now he left me alone to my way. - That has saved a lot of problems for us. And we love each other even more than before and respect each other boundaries.

Answer 9

Of course it's wrong. How would you feel if the shoes were on your feet? You wouldn't care to convert, would you? Wouldn't you feel a little disrespected and insulted that she'd even ASK you to convert? Probably. Let her believe in what she chooses to believe, if that bothers you then you shouldn't have committed your life to her.

Answer 10

you need to ask "what is wrong with asking my wife to convert?"

here's what's wrong:

you are not accepting her for who she is. she probably thinks you are foolish for this one silly hangup on jesus christ, but does she ask you to convert. no. she loves you even with your fixation of mythology.


also, you can't expect someone to just change what they believe. she may go through the motiuons: go to church, pray, ect. but if she doesn't believe, then she doesn't believe.

basically, you would be asking your wife to pretend to be something she's not. you'd be asking her to fake it.

do you love your wife or do you love what you want to make out of her?


don't be selfish.

if you want to be married to a christian woman, you should divorce your wife and find one. it sounds like you aren't interested in who she is, anyway.

Answer 11

ask but don't force
guide her
I went to the church where my daughter was going and pointed out to her their wrongs. It took a while but she started seeing the truth in what I said For she knew the bible said to watch out for faults preachers. They weren't all wrong but some things were being taught wrong.