Hey there,
This guy I have been dating for 6months( only 1 exclusive) cheated on me with his ex he claims he has no feelings for and I found out. He says he was going to tell me and that he felt like crap &realized after he did it how much he liked me (this is weird;don't get it but both girls & guys have said this happened to them before) and that he wants to be with me and thinks we can get through this. I asked him why he did it and he said he thinks because it was his way of rebeling against the things about him I was asking him to improve on, but takes responsibility and said it was bad judgement.
I told him I am going to need him to give me time to trust him again and be super-accountable for a while(phone-calls, telling me where he's at, etc) until I can trust him again.
I want to know if its possible or if any guys out there have gone through a similiar situation where they cheated once and never did it again and it made them realize how much they liked there gf?
2007-12-19 19:27:26 · 24 answers · asked by Allison J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've never been in that situation, but I know someone who has. I don't think he would have cheated on you in the first place if he really cared about you. You don't just accidentally have sex with another person unless you want to. He made a conscious decision to sleep with his ex, and did not tell you about it. You had to find out yourself. He only said he was going to tell you because you caught him. He really would not have.
2007-12-19 19:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first is break up with him cause he just took advantage of you and he probably still loved his ex before he met you and I think he really didn't give a sh*t about you, just wanted to use you for no good reason. This ultimate break up will be his punishment, trust me and never forgive him, cause if yawl two gotten back together then he'll just end up hurting you some more and you don't deserve to feel that pain, no one does. Yes karma will get him back soon, just have to give it some time to do so and maybe he'll realize what the consequences was coming from and will try to be a better person till then. Also, its true that there are more guys out there for you ,but mostly you just haven't met the right guy yet, it just takes us awhile for all of us to find our right mate. I'm assuming that yawl are still teenagers and well, some teenagers are still naive to know what's right and wrong and will learn from their mistakes once they become fully adult.
2016-05-25 03:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably really does like you and he will even more if you forgive him. Sounds like he wants to be able to have both of you. He never would have been with her if he didn't still have some feelings for her. This happened to me and I took him back, he was the best he had been in 10 years (trying to improve) things were great for a while, and about 2 years later he was at it again. I think some guys can come through this and not cheat again, but the fact that he was with his ex is what would seal the deal for me. He probably did the same thing to his ex, you should ask her. Good luck, and don't accept less than you deserve.
2007-12-19 19:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young lady, no one (including you) can ever promise such a thing.
Always remember this, men are physical and women are emotional. Though there are exceptions to the rule. That is the way it is.
Men think nothing of it, only when they are caught then they react. Women we cheat to get back at the person who cheated on us. It never ends from there.
You need to realize something, you will never trust him. Remember this also, what are you going to do when he cheats again? and the next guy, and the next guy.
Just be sure of whom you are, set goals for yourself and the better you feel about yourself the less dependent you will become on a man.
2007-12-19 19:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated because you're trying to 'improve' certain qualities about him. He's obviously not ready to 'improve' those qualities so he went to someone who will understand him...someone that's familiar.
Will he do it again...probably- it doesn't sound like the two of you are very compatible. You hope for the best but maybe you should end it. You'll always want him to improve, and he may rebel again. What if he rebels with another girl this time?
How many times are you going to forgive him?
Maybe you're better off just being friends.
2007-12-19 19:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by c m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not a guy... but sometimes things happend...I cheated on a guy that I cared about alot.... But at the time he was being to clingy and I was afraid of just letting him into my life... well after I cheated...I realized how much i really did like my boyfriend... and i felt bad. I ended up telling him what happend and promised that it would never happen again.And it didnt. It did take sometime for my boyfriend to trust me again...But anyways it took for me to go through that to realize that i didnt want to lose him. So in the end I finally opened up... Im not saying that it was okay for your boyfriend to cheat because it wasnt but sometimes things do happend and we cant always let one bad thing push us away instead we have to learn from them... So if you want to give your boyfriend another chance then thats your choice.. He might actually be sincere. But after a while if you havent learned to trust him then let go.... Good Luck
2007-12-19 19:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by asia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bunch of BS. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you accept this time, then he will feel that he can do it again and again. Plus you will never fully trust him again and you can't try to control him by checking his stuff. That will drive him away and make him cheat more. Never try to improve your man (although that was a lie from him). You took him the way he was so don't try to make him into something he is not. I see bad relationships in your future from what I see going on in this relationship.
2007-12-19 19:34:11 · answer #7 · answered by King L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not really. If he's young then this is a habit that will stick with him for a while. Better to suffer the hurt now, cut him loose, and move on. Take time to let the wound of betrayal heal. Remember to tell yourself that you deserve to be treated better in the future and when you're ready, find a guy to take things slow with, get to know each other as friends, and let that friendship engender the kind of trust and intimacy that a sexual relationship requires to be healthy.
2007-12-19 19:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never read so much prejudiced rubbish, I'm living proof, I cheated once was so remorseful it actually made me a better person. Some of us DO learn from mistakes. All this 'once a cheat always a cheat' is crap, have none of you made a mistake in your lives and vowed never to do it again, and actually stuck to that vow?, sanctimonious hypocrites abound on here.
2007-12-19 19:36:37 · answer #9 · answered by psychologist_4u 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Six months ago you started dating your boyfriend. Six months ago, I got married. We had been friends for many years, and we waited to have sex until our wedding night. I knew his character. I knew he was not a man to circumb to temptation. We have been rewarded for our trials by the security that comes with waiting.
I don't judge anyone. I just want you to know what a beautiful thing God designed, and I want others to experience it. God's designs are PERFECT. In the security of marraige, love can be expressed fully:
"True love casts out all fear."
Chose a man whose character is strong. You need not feel this disparaging way about a man again. Do not settle for the standard; raise the standard.
2007-12-19 19:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by deanna_belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋