Is something wrong with me? Depressed?

Question

Im an 19 yr old male, and (for lack of a better term) im "depressed". I got a great job, and but i almost hate going to it. Im not stupid, but i just failed most of my college classes, and i just cant seem to date anyone. The only thing i care about is dating someone it seems. its all i think about and no matter what i do it seems that everything is futile. I havent had any positive things happen to me as far as dating and i just want to date someoen to have a good time. I tell myself that if i was dating someone i would be having a better time or id enjoy wokring or going to class, becasue id have a reason to go. I think i just want someone to care for and care for me other than my family, but most of my friends think im depressed. I dont think i am because i def. am not suicidal or anti social . I will say that it causes me to say things that i normally wouldnt. Am I just stuck in a rut or am i depressed?

Answer 1

It just sounds like you need to have fun with your friends & not worrying about dating so much. It's good that you aren't anti-social and don't ever get that way. You should try & meet some girls in your class, go out with your friends-network. That is the best way to meet girls.

Answer 2

Of course it isn't 'wrong to be depressed'. I think all of us go through a depressing phase at some time in our life, it just depends to what extent........ some people are depressed for years and the longer you remain in a depressed state, the deeper your depression gets. As soon as you realise you are that's the best time to 'do something about it'. You have to 'act' immediately though, otherwise you 'sink' again. It gets to the stage when you just 'can't be bothered' and no amount of coaxing from friends, family etc helps. I also think that there are various forms of depression ie some people in depression think they are hiding it (it's a bit like alcoholics, they hide their bottles) people in depression 'hide' their true feelings and act differently with different people. I'm sure this needs more elaboration, but I hope you get the gist of it. Basically, how 'depressed' are you? Is it a continuous flow of depression where you just don't give a damn about anyone or anything and let yourself go........... or do you have ups and downs? (more ups than downs). Can you count friends on one hand or do you have alot of friends that think you're great? And........ are you bothered? The thing is, just because someone has 'a better/worse life' doesn't mean you are going to feel any different about your own. At the end of the day it is 'us' who is control of our life and whether we want to change it and let people into it. The less people we let int, imho, the more depressing life can become, it's just a case of knowing who the people are we can trust enough to let in.

Answer 3

Depression does not necessarily cause suicide or anti-sociality.

Anyway, I'm in about the same situation as you. I guess that we're both just stuck in a rut, or it is just not our time yet. But because those thoughts affect our lifestyle, then it certainly can be classified as depression. (clinical depression is a state of sadness that has advanced to the point where it disrupts social functioning or daily living)

But I do not know that much of your situation. Who knows? Maybe you are over-obsessing with one thing. I think that you should just focus on your studies. Sure, you are 19, but remember, some people do not even date until a lot later. It is common to want to date someone...to care for someone that cares for you back. But you have your entire college life ahead of you which you can use to meet new girls who will care for you. Much more mature than high school.

Answer 4

I recommend you watch this particual MindMovie daily to help you be free of the things that hold you back and fill yourself with hope again. It's the cheapest form of therapy I know that seems more effective than a shrink. I turn the volume down and just enjoy the qoutes and pics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-WscYZuPtE

Try making your own MindMovie as well. I thank my g/f for turning me onto them. Ask yourself what you want in life. If you don't know what you want, ask yourself what you don't want, then reverse it to it's opposite. Then collect pictures that reflect what you want and find your favorite song. If you don't know how or don't have the software, check out the Mindmovies.com website. They sell a kit for pretty cheap that helps make pro videos like the one above.



As for the girl, it's fine to realize you want a female counterpart, like Shakti for the Shiva. I recommend going to a group meditation/yoga class for yourself and to meet a good girl.

Answer 5

I've been depressed before and believe me you don't have to be
depressed to hate school and work. Not many people your age enjoy either. See your doctor. I'm by no means "dumb" either but I started doing allot better in school once my a.d.d. was diagnosed. If you are depressed then your doctor can help you with that to. Maybe your dating problem is because girls can sense your depressed. Don't get so down on yourself and you'll be find. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Answer 6

Women can smell desperation. If you quit looking so hard for someone else to give you happiness, then maybe you can find happiness in yourself and what you are doing. This satisfaction with yourself will be more attractive than a desperate and depressed guy. Give the search a break and it will come.

Answer 7

you know, you really just gotta focus on being a better you... if you put all your energy into dating then you will have none left for anything else... i mean look at it this way, what girl wants to date a guy that fails his classes? focus on being a better student.. then go to your job and work hard at and make some money so you can treat a girl proper... i know its hard to understand but you are young.. you will be ok just keep treating yourself well first then you can treat a girl great

Answer 8

you're over thinking this!

college classes are great places to meet girls! study groups, etc! come on man!

i have been where you are and believe me it gets better. when you are poor in school it has a domino effect and makes everything suck. when you are doing well in school, everything is different.

my advice: chill out on the dating stuff. just stop thinking about it entirely. make it your goal to make friends with as many girls as you can, and watch as these girls become the most incredible wingmen and introduce you to tons of other girls in the process. girls always are interested in meeting guys who their girlfriends recommend.

and next semester, load up on easy classes .. maybe one tough one. and just show up to every class. sit up front. make a deal with yourself to actually give a real effort for just ONE SEMESTER and see what happens.

Answer 9

what you're feeling, i guess, stems from the fact that you haven't set your priorities right. you're 19 and facing a lot of years of challenges which you would triumph in only if you set your goals straight at this minute. if not, you'll continue feeling that way and worse..... let me hear from you when you're 50...

Answer 10

i think your just looking for love and concentrate too much on finding love thats why your losing concentration in school.....just spend more times with your friends or meet new people..enjoy life....do the things that you like to do.if your looking for love, you'll just meet the wrong type of people....like and love happens naturally..you just can't push it..