What is wrong with me? Why cant I help myself?

Question

Im 19yrs old, 5' 5'' 130lbs. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/kittykatchops/newpic.jpg this is what i look like.

first off im not writing this for sympathy or to be called stupid. trust me i know.
-------

I've had enough. Ive said this time and time again, but now I really mean it. I've been with Justin for a year and a half. Hes cheated on me Twice(that i know of) and last weekend he beat me for the first time. I know that Im not a bad gf. Yeah Im jealous because hes cheated on me and but look at how pathetic I am for taking him back twice! And HE still calls ME names! Like I've done something wrong.

He got kicked out of the AirForce and I've let him stay with me for the past few weeks. Letting him eat my food, sleep in my bed, get on my computer, watch my TV, wash in my shower all for FREE.

I left to work today around 2pm. while on break i called justin around 6pm. he said he was at a friends house playing video games. I later called him at 10:30pm

He didnt even say hello. He said "Why the F*uck are you calling me? you know Im playing video games!" And hung up. Why does he treat me this way?? At 1am I txted him asking him if he was okay to drive home (he has been drinking) and he said no. I then called him to tell him that i would drive 30mins to pick him up. He answered with "you dumb b*tch what did I tell you?! We're Over!" And hung up. I kind of sat there and i looked to the left and saw the bruises all over my arm from where he threw me on the floor and held me down by putting his foot on my neck.

I want to "fix" myself. I NEVER want to call Justin back again. I dont want to be with him. I hate what hes done to me. I have no selfesteem and it feels like my life is falling apart. But EVERY time I take him back. I let him get away with so much and I dont understand why. I just So sick of it! I want to be loved and cherished not treated like crap!

Guys: What is wrong with you?!? Why would you treat a girl this way??

Answer 1

First of all, he is a loser! Get rid of him! Never call him back! Never let him back into your home and life. You are not deserving of that kind of treatment and that kind of guy! You are worth much more than that piece of trash!

Second of all, as hard as it is, give yourself time to heal and move forward with your life. Someone like that will only hold you back and make you feel like sh*t.

To me it seems like he can't handle squat and takes it out on you, let him waste his life away playing video games at his friend's house.

Answer 2

Umm, I would never treat a girl this way, and neither would a ton of guys out there.

I do not know why you would keep taking him back. You are just hurting yourself by trying to make this one relationship work. Move on. Get a better treating boyfriend. That guy doesn't deserve any girl in the world.

Answer 3

You have to ask what is wrong with you that you allow a man to abuse you and treat you like crap. When you allow the behavior just once, they will continue because they know they can. When he hit you you should have called the police and had him arrested. Wake up and get him out of your life. Work on your self esteem issues and your lack of self respect, so you don't tolerate this behavior in the future. No one will love and cherish you if you don't love and cherish yourself. Don't blame all guys because you found a loser, most men aren't like this. You have weak men with issues, who like to control even weaker women, it makes them feel strong like more of a man.

Answer 4

Wow, just leave. If you want a guy that will appreciate you and love you it's not that hard. You are pathetic too, but i have seen worse. Your too busy trying to fix what you think is wrong with you so you can make him happy, but your wasting your time caught in a manipulating relationship, your fine the way you are.

Answer 5

i'm a dude and that i've got been given same crap goin on severe college and so on... There somewhat isn't lots of a situation, whether it quite is extra of a private existence difficulty, your human beings shouldn't in any respect discover out approximately something like this, in the event that they're pals like mine, the place they gained't ever enable it pass ya know? yet commonly used it quite is common and don't situation no scientific crap, merely be careful and commonly used do no longer rush into intercourse or something.