My honey and I are planning our wedding and we have a big problem! We dont know how to keep his mother from attending! His mother severely abused him as a child...pretty much until he was 18. She beat him daily, sent him to the hospital, made him eat out of the garbage, and even tried to stab him. She doesnt call him by his name, she calls him "the idiot" and other not so nice names. She hasnt talked to him in over 10 years. Yet my honey is Indian (Parents came from India) and we want his father to attend. If his father comes, his mother will certainly try to come, if not crash the wedding.
We want his father to be there as their relationship has gotten better over the years, but there is a malicious hatred between my fiance and his mother.
Please...what do we do???
2007-12-19 18:02:44 · 12 answers · asked by kiki81503 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I forgot to mention that his parents are still married (although quite unhappily) and that they live on the other side of the country.
2007-12-20 07:25:15 · update #1
you can politely ask her not to attend. Try to sit her down and explain why. If the father doesn't want to attend because the mother is not invited well, that's really his loss. Remember this is ya'lls day, no one elses, and his father's company will be missed but the show much go on :)
Good Luck!
2007-12-19 18:08:11 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the Groom does not want his Mother to attend his wedding then he will have to go "someplace else" or have a secret ceremony.
If the Groom invites his Father, his Mother will attend also so the Groom will have to decide how important it is for his Father to be there.
If it is not that important, then go "someplace else" (a different town or state or country) . . or get married quietly and discreetly without your parents or friends in attendance.
Only you and the Groom can make the decision what is important on your wedding day.
True story . . a Bride did not want her Father to participate in her wedding because he chose not to participate in her life after he and his wife divorced. The Bride's Mother and brother walked her down the aisle while the Bride's Father sat in one of the rows of seats with the other guests. His name was not mentioned on any of the wedding stationary or the ceremony program. The Bride made in very clear in the planning stages that her Father was not going to be asked to participate in any family related wedding activities, and that he was only "a guest."
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-12-20 01:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell his father to come alone, or not come at all. Make him understand you will not tolerate her presence. Your husbands mental health is more important than his father being there.
Also, hire a bouncer and if she is spotted in the parking lot/entrance, that person should escort her away telling her the event is by invitation only. Your husband should not even have to see a glimpse of her, or hear of her coming, it is his wedding day and he should enjoy it without worrying.
2007-12-19 22:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What a wi tch! Have security guards at the wedding and make the invitations out detailing only his father. Sit down and chat with her, if not write her a letter or do it via internet.
2007-12-19 18:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
File a restraining order, then legally she cannot attend. Or, have a family member that is not you, your fiance, or his father tell her that she is not a desired guest. To come to the wedding would result in a possible arrest. It really depends on how committed you are to preventing her from arriving.
2007-12-19 18:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by i_8_the_canary 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance needs to talk to his father and state that he does not and will not appreciate it if his "mother" shows up at the wedding, and that only his father is invited.
2007-12-20 02:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough situation but not an impossible one. Talk to the father and take his opinion. I know it's hard but if she comes don't let it ruin your day! Forgive her would be the thing to do! It's easier said then done but again it's possible! Your fiance just has to find it in his heart to forgive her and to let go of this awful time in his life! Then his part is done! May the forgiveness has to happen prior to the wedding! It is better to let go of such hate! It's very hard but do it! Help your fiance come to terms with this and help him find forgiveness in his heart and you will all win in this! Maybe if he humbles himself to go tell her that she did wrong in all she did to him and that she stilll might be doing or calling him names or such but that he forgives her then maybe this will be a new beginning in more ways then just your marriage. Talk things out and weigh the consequences and results. Talk with the father openly! Good Luck! You must forgive and take out all the hatred to continue to love others! Do it...forgive her even if your gutt tells you not to...do it...it will make YOU a better person with a fullfillment in life!
2007-12-19 22:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by itzybit_303 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
my thoughts are to not invite either one of them if you dont want you mom to come. You can also just let his father know that he is allowed to come but if the mother comes you will have her romoved by the local poilce dept. YOU can do that. Juat call before hand tell the police station what she did to him and tell them if she shows up you will need them to remove her.
2007-12-21 02:48:04 · answer #8 · answered by Alisha Dover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to not attend the wedding. Inform your ushers of this and if she shows up, have them escort her out. PRONTO. That's what ushers and groomsmen are for.
2007-12-27 10:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... if the parents are still married..then theywill probably both come.. if they are divorced...then invite the father without the mother.. good luck.
2007-12-20 00:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by Leslie Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋