I´m a single mom that lives with my daughter, mom and grandma, its been hell all these years cuz my mother instead of being grateful of the fact that I´m helping them out and living there with them she instead tearts me bad, doesnt repect me and os always giving me real bad advice to hurt me, she is NOT a loving mother that wants the best for me, she is always wishing me the worst and never wants things to go right for me, she is very selfish and is the reason why me and my daughter´s father are not together anymore, she is selfish and only cares for herself, I´m so worried cuz her behavior on me is affecting me,my life is not good becuz of her, i have lost many things becuz of her and I dont know what to do anymore, I cant move out cuz I dont have money and I cant talk to her cuz I have many times but she doesnt seem to get anything...I dont want negavtive people affecting and disrupting my life anymore, i have no leg to stand becuz of her, i´ve lost so much...what can I do?
2007-12-19 16:40:41 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have a job and I also go to college but what I aern is not enough to get us out..
2007-12-19 16:46:39 · update #1
I do have a job, I am a school teacher. I am also going to college to get my degree.
2007-12-19 16:55:03 · update #2
ok its not that I ask for her advice but basically she forces stuff upon me and I have no other way out except doing what she tells me to do...
2007-12-19 17:01:35 · update #3
Look at yourself and ask yourself what it is you need, what do you want out of life to make you and your daughter happy. Your an adult and the best advice comes from yourself and CHRIST, your mom is hendering you because you let her. She knows your situation and she's taking advantage of that to ruin you, you don't let anyone make you feel like your nothing. You may not have the money to move out on your own right now but you have the power to take back your dignity. She's your mother true enough but your also a mother and you know what that means. She may not be the mother she should be and she knows that but for some reason she's not happy with herself. That's why she does what she does to you, she's miserable in her skin and misery loves company. Stop leaning on her and start leaning on GOD your daughter is looking at you. And you don't want her to think that's the way a mother daughter relatiionship should be. You really need to put your foot down and lift your head up girl. Try your best it's going to take blood sweat and tears, but get it together and get the hell away from her. You know it's going to be hard but you must make away to get away from her. Your going to lose your damn mind and your child needs you to be sane, your a strong woman trust and believe that and you can make it on your own. Far as your childs father try talking to him and apologize for all your wrongs let him know your facing your mistakes. If you work put aside as much money as you can a $100 a week if you can and move on. Even if you have to cut off all dealings with your mom to regain your self convindence then so be it. Trust GOD knows what's going on but he can't help you unless you help yourself. Love you and your child do for the two of you and everthing will be just fine honey. And another thing you have both legs GOD gave you and nobody can take that away from you. If you can help someone else you damn sure can help yourself don't let nobody tell you nothing different. You are strong, you are powerful, keep faith in yourself and GOD, trust in yourself and make your own decisions. You need advice go to you and if your not sure go to JESUS. I said a prayer for you and you start praying as well.
2007-12-19 17:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by D.S.C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that your mother has been treating you this way.. I understand where you are coming from.... My mother has done pretty much the same thing to me.
My advice to you is quit wasting your breath on her. She is not going to listen to anything that you have to say. In her mind she feels that if your life was great you would be better than her cause her life sucks. Unfortuantely what she does not understand is that you are better than her.
What your mother is doing to you is Abusive, not only to you but, she will turn on your daughter next if she already hasn't.
The only way that you will get your life back and some resemblance of the respect that your daughter has for you, you must move out Immediately!!!!!!!!!!!! Go live in a shelter or stay with friends anything would be better than were you are at now.
I know that this may be harsh but, sweetie I have been in your shoes and in a way I still am, I just live in another state now.
Please take care of yourself and your daughter.
2007-12-20 01:06:43 · answer #2 · answered by georgia3673 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can TRULY feel for you. I was in the same situation for nearly 14 years, only it was my sister, and there was no getting away from her, until I did a major move and was able to move away (out of the country in fact)
I suggest you do what I did: go to your local yellow pages and if you are in UK, go to NHS web site, and under mental health (no joking, and nothing what so ever to feel funny about, trust me!) and speak to an actual person. You will be referred to someone there, a counselor, etc. and they will (I should say "they CAN") not only talk on the phone with you as a one off, they actually come and have an assigned counselor come to your house to help in ways you wouldn't imagine......like first help you to feel sane again for starters, assess the situation, take you OUT of the house for coffee and walks with the baby, or drive just to get away, etc. And this assigned person will come to your house every morning at 7 am if necessary for your needs, and will on a daily basis help you in uncountable ways-It's true!-Hand on heart sweetie, I mean this and I wish the same for you. (Take a breather, and don't be proud (I meant that in a caring way!) and LET SOMEONE HELP-They ARE out there, and don't worry about money. There are people who genuinely help, and I NEVER in a million years would have thought of doing it, making the first call, but the person who suggested it to me was someone who was not living with us, and really did not know even the half of it, so I considered that....I thought "If so and so can make these kinds of advice suggestions and not even asked for, I think it may be foolish NOT to give it a try anyway!-) If you are not in the UK, and even if you ARE then in local yellow pages (or www.yellowpages.com-OR-.co.uk) and look up "SAMARITANS" (not good Samaritans, but the one word) and they also have done similar things for me, and I got a life back. I know this may sound too simple or funny to you, but it sounded the same to me, but think about it please.....What's the worst that could happen? (Nothing, so please try)
God Bless
Hugs
2007-12-20 00:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's time for you to act like an adult and make your own life. Whatever it takes. Life won't be as comfortable at first, I'm sure, but you will have more self-esteem and you will gradually be able to manage your own life.
How you do it is up to you. Get a job first, save money, and move out. Or go on welfare until you get on your feet. Or move in with a decent relative. Or go to a homeless shelter for women and children. Or, come up with your own plan. This won't be permanent of course; but you need to start making decisions. I wish you well.
2007-12-20 00:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know your pain, babe. I literally disowned my mother. She was always like that when I was growing up, & she took my son from me. He is 17 & refuses to speak to me, because of her. I know, because she did it to me when I was a kid, with my dad. Where is your father? Can he help?
If not, best I can say is to hang in there & try to put some cash back, or see if you can get a loan from a friend & pay it back later.
Just do yourself a favor & get out of that situation as soon as possible. I resent my mother so much because of all the pain she has caused me, due to haer selfish motives & behavior, & thwarting any progress I aver made.
Bottom line, she is jealous of you-for some reason. Maybe she blames you for your dad leaving her & that is why she ran your guy off.
Idk-best of luck to you, though, whatever you decide to do.
2007-12-20 00:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Move out of the house because unless you're paying the majority of the bills there is no way that you're "helping them out". You're living there because it's your only means of having a place to live. Don't sugar coat it as something it's not. So she doesn't have to be grateful. Until you move out, this is how it will be. So get money together and figure it out. Plus if her advice is so bad, why do you follow it? It's that simple, don't ask for advice and don't take it when given.
2007-12-20 00:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by pamalalauren 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Move!
Get a a full time job and a part time job, save some money and move. Able bodied adults should have their own space, more-so being that you are a parent.
Secondly, if you think her advice is bad and only given to hurt you, stop seeking her advice. Think through your issues and solve them on your own.
You are an adult...woman up, stop whining and do what you need to do to have the peace that you desire.
Best of luck to you.
2007-12-20 00:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by Devon The Misses 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You can be a grown woman and take you daughter and go on your own... why take that much crap... find a job a be independent..... don't let anybody treat you bad. Set an example for your daughter.
2007-12-20 00:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to school.
Get a grant or scholarship and move.
Build you life and show her by your actions that you are independent.
If you keep on doing what you have always done you will always get what you always got. To keep on the same path is just insane. Change is painful. Others have done it, you can too.
2007-12-20 00:47:09 · answer #9 · answered by noyoungun 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I get bad advice all the time. her bad advice is not ruining your life, you taking that advice is. Why don't you start looking for roomates. You shouldn't live with that much negativity--it will shorten your life span
2007-12-20 00:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Dance 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋