About 3 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me. We'd only been dating about 2 months and she said she wanted to take a break. We were in a long distance relationship because she went to school. She told little white lies and blew me off when she was suppose to call or come home. She said I didn't trust her. I also knew things weren't working out, so when she said she wanted a break I just said ok. About three weeks ago we got back together and I thought things would be different. I'd seen what I was doing wrong and I figured she did too, but everything is exactly how it was. I also asked her why she wanted to take a break and she freaked out and me and wouldn't talk about it. It feels like the only reason she wants to be with me is because she is failing out of school and needs someone, anyone to be with. I'm having serious regrets about getting back together with her and now I don't know what to do. How can I get her to talk with me about this stuff?
2007-12-19 15:55:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Toby,
Just be up front and lay it all on the line. You know what needs to be done, and you don't need Yahoo answers to tell you. As a friend who is in the same situation I am telling you to cut your loses and just move on. Regardless of what explanation she gives or doesn't give your heart already knows it is not going to work, so why agonies over spilt milk. It is not going to change. I gave you this advise 2 weeks ago, and am telling you again. You are only there as a past time. Once she has her act together she will be gone. You have the upper hand right now, so use it and end all this mistrust, agony, dishonesty and infidelity once and for all. It will hurt in the beginning, but honey you are worth more than this. Good Luck.
Your friend
Simbha
2007-12-20 05:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Simbha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds pretty selfish. You should just break it off. It's all give and no take here. She's screwing you over. After the break up, she'll get distracted looking at herself in a mirror or something and forget all about you. I don't mean to sound harsh. I bet she's hot and has some other redeeming qualities. But if she's gonna treat people like that, then her relationships are never gonna work.
2007-12-19 16:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by asig33882003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she is getting defensive, try talking to her in a way that....
1) whenever you throw in a complaint, throw in a compliment like "I love it when you do call me, but it seems like you don't care as much as I do about keeping the promises TO call"
2) instead of saying "You do this" try putting it like "It feels like, alot of the time, you seem like this" so its in a more objective point of view
3) don't talk to her when she is stressed, wait until things are good and she is clearly in a good mood, she won't get as snappy and she'll be able to tap into her emotions easier if her brain isn't on super-fast
4) she might just not care as much as you do, so if you are getting sick of it, you could try doing the same back. If she notices, tell her, "Well it didn't seem like you thought it was a huge deal to -----, so I didn't consider it one" that way she gets it back but sees WHY in a more sensitive manner
Those are some things I'd try when communicating with her.
If you still put things in an "I feel" perspective instead of "You are" perspective, and she still doesn't get it, you guys just aren't on the same page, you know?
Hopefully that helps
2007-12-19 16:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by neuroticangel6669 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it up, you should not have reconciled with her - she was your ex for a good reason.
2007-12-19 15:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest...She will learn how to live with it
2007-12-19 15:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by ^Blue Rose^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋