My daughter just turned 3 and her biological dad just called me the other day wanting to know how she was.But I have been with this other guy since she was two months old.Her biological dad has seen her once and that was right before she turned one.I think that interducing him as dad would confuse her now..What do I do??
2007-12-19 15:39:51 · 8 answers · asked by felicia_finuf2002 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Any man can be a father....it takes a real man to be a dad. The man who has been with you and your daughter since she was just a tot is the real dad (if he takes that role).
If the new man in your life takes the role of dad for your daughter, introduce the biological father as a friend (because your daughter won't know the difference between father and dad). If the father wants to be a part of the girl's life, let her get to know him for a few years and then let her know the reality of it when she can comprehend it better.
If the new man in your life does not take the role of dad for your daughter, then go ahead and tell your daughter who "dad" really is and tell her that dad was just away for a long time but that he loves her and he wants to be friends with her now.
you don't have to lie to her, persay, just don't tell her the entire truth until she can understand it.
2007-12-19 15:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by JaneDoe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when I was 16 and I am no longer with the father. My daughter just turned 3 and I have a different boyfriend than the biological father. My daughter considers my current boyfriend her dad because he is all she has ever known. I don't know if I would want to tell my daughter this early because of how well she is bonding with who is in her life right now, knowing that her actual dad won't be there anyway.
2007-12-19 16:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think introducing difficult topics early is probably your best bet, if you can frame it in a way that your child can understand. It doesn't have to be a big revelation, you can call her bio dad "Daddy Ed" or whatever his name is.
My cousin did that with her kids from her first relationship when she married and had more kids: Stepdad was "dad" and their bio dad was "Daddy Jake". Doing it that way made a place for both men, in their different roles in the kids' lives, and the kids were all the better for their mother's mature take on it.
The benefit of telling her early is that there is never this big secret revealed that might make her feel betrayed that her life was not as she expected. GL!
2007-12-19 15:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by SBQ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is 2 and me and her father are friends but not together so he visits and my daughter knows him but only because he stayed in her life. I don't know the reason he hasn't been around but if theres a way he can see her more or if he even wants to then you should tell her now. Show her pics and say something like "this is ____, he helped mommy make you". but if he isn't going to be around much, I would wait until she understands things fully (maybe 4 or ) and then slowly bring it in.
2007-12-19 15:51:06 · answer #4 · answered by purplelites 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off is the dad coming back in the pic or just fishing.
has he been helping you with money?
if not don't let him see her, but if so he should not be left alone with her.
he should kept you wish about not telling her.
until she is about 5-7, when you do tell her make sure that she know about the good man that her step dad is.
2007-12-19 15:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by Curtis R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 3, do not lie to her. She will remember.
2007-12-19 15:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by robert s 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let her know her father.
2007-12-19 18:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Change your phone number!!!
2007-12-19 15:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by Roxanne 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋