Any ideas that might help a person tolerate the holidays?

Question

I do whatever it takes to make sure my family enjoys the holidays. Only problem is........ I quite literally hate the whole holiday season. Always have. The only good thing about them is watching my children enjoy their presents, and the family enjoy the food. If it weren't for them, I'd go camping for the season, but that is not an option. Any ideas to make it easier to deal with?

Probably should have mentioned, no booze or drugs of any kind. I already live on cardiac meds.

Answer 1

Help a lonely person who feels as you do, help them tolerate the season. There are plenty of them.

Answer 2

Hmm. The Holiday season is tough for a lot of people.
Part of the problem is that our culture is telling us that is one of the happiest times of the year (and by implication, if we're not ecstatic there must be something wrong with us). That expectation is unreasonable and hurtful. If you can lower that expectation, that might help.
Part of the problem is that many of us have too many obligations during the season. So it's hard to make time for some things that we would genuinely enjoy. Or we're so tired that we don't enjoy them as much. If you can eliminate a couple of low priority things, and replace them with either rest or something else that is more important to you, that might be help (though admittedly this can be even more difficult when you have kids).
It sounds like you have the right idea.

Answer 3

I really could not tell you, I have always enjoyed this time of year..even though we are all rushing to find the "perfect" gift, and to make sure all the food and decorations are just right, I still use this time to reflect. I take this time to reflect on the positive things that have happened in the past year and also to analyze the things that have not been so positive to keep from repeating those same mistakes. Maybe because the year is coming to an end or something, but I tend to chill this last week of the year.
The magic of the season through my kids eyes have filled me with joy. The fact that we believe in magic, hope and faith calms me. At times I feel I have become somewhat jaded but the season never fails to brighten my outlook on life and the world around me.
Peace my friend.....Peace

Answer 4

"The only good thing about them is watching my children enjoy their presents, and the family enjoy the food." Your question, your answer.

Your internal condition seems to be to much dictated by external circumstances. You testify to a good thing that you see and feel and help produce; but deny me (and yourself) the same joy as that being experienced by the children.**

We all know holiday seasons press the envelope; usually depending on how much joy or peace we have lost in the daily grind. Perhaps you could consider expanding the connection you make with the kids to all men everywhere. It is a big jump; but better then sitting on the fence between joy and hate.

I am reminded of Ram Dass who noted anger in a group of people gathered for meditation. It seems their room was above a fire station. The alarms and sirens would disturb their focus big time. -- Rain on their religious parade so to speak.

Dass suggested, and I paraphrase, not fighting the external sound but to accept it and take it in. If you resist the sound becomes the issue and you have lost your original purpose! So as many have done throughout history; build on such circumstances. If you can't sweep it out, sweep it in.

People involved in holiday or festive seasons throughout history are seeking what your children have when they approach and open their presents. Don't begrudge yourself, or pay attention to those you expect are taking advantage.

Opening presents are the high points of our existance. If you think about it we even manufacture presents and work to obtain them. We call it setting goals! Strange no?

Don't miss the fine connection between being a spectator and enjoying your own heart as it was made to be. The same mistake can be made while camping. Been there done that.

**Consider another teacher, who noted of children and their attitudes and desires: "Of such is the kingdom of heaven." You are helping the kids; now permit yourself to enjoy. Enjoy not only a few hours of fellowship but the entire season. Enjoy seasons that are planned; then take in and enjoy the seasons of your own life as they have and will come to pass.

Answer 5

OMG!!!! Scrooge! LOL
Enjoy the little things that make the holidays awesome. I am a holiday freak. My poor poor husband. Really I feel bad for him.
I love everything about the holidays that people seem to forget about. I love loading the kids up with homemade cocoa and driving around neighborhoods and looking at lights (hey we were poor when I was a kid). I remember all the free things about the holidays, or cheap things. My dad used to make this huge deal about eggnog of all things. I don't know why this is such a big deal, but it always was. Christmas was the only time of the year you can get it. And then there was the tree. Every year my grandmother sent me a ornament. That meant that I had a certain amount of ornements that NO ONE could put up but me. To this day, I tell stories to my kids about the year I got them. LOL
There is the music. I will always perk up to Carol of the Bells. I love that song, I don't care what time of the year it is.
We were in the military so we didn't have a ton of family around, if any, so my Mom always made it awesome. We would take turns opening gifts, ooooh and aaaaaahing over each individual gift. She would make this awesome little casserole thing that I cant' make to save my life. And we would gorge ourselves on candy. There were two times of the year you could eat candy for breakfast. Christmas and Easter. SO worth it.
So my ramble concludes with, there is SO much more to the holidays then all this commercial crap. I don't remember a singe gift my parent ever gave me. But I DO remember all the silly traditions that I pass on to my kids. How the Grinch Stole Christmas, driving around the neighborhoods to look at lights, singing silly carols while drinking eggnog, my mom's breakfast casserole, my moms pouperii that she had EVERY year, pies and that huge dinner my parents always make. (It was one of the only times of year we used thier wedding china) THESE are what my holidays are made of. THESE are what I show my kids. And I love every minute of it.

Answer 6

I feel the same way you do. Luckily, my family doesn't really celebrate christmas so I don't have to worry about retail stress or cooking a huge meal. Next year, try to shop on online as much as you can to avoid wasting time, energy, and gas in order to battle crazed christmas shoppers and long lines. don't do any more than you really must. enjoying your family and a good meal is pretty much the only thing i look forward to during the holidays. when it's over, it's over. stock up on the egg nog, or a bottle of wild turkey 101. they'll keep out the cold, and mellow you out.

Answer 7

You're headed in the right direction with watching the enjoyment of others. Are there people you don't normally get to see that you see now? That would be something to look forward to. Do you get extra time off work? That's something I really look forward to. I've always disliked them because of the expectations that people have for them. I try to look at them as just typical days that we happen to be having special food and presents.

Answer 8

Do you have to go to work right afterward? We always manage to have vacation time between Xmas and New Year, and for a few days after Xmas we sort of hibernate at home -- totally relaxed, eating whatever's in the fridge (no cooking!). We enjoy the gifts, or I like to have a jigsaw puzzle going, too. It's really peaceful.

Answer 9

Is there anyway you can take a few hours just for yourself and do something that you like - it might help relieve some of the stress related to the holidays.

It's very good of you to put aside your own feelings and make the effort to make the holidays joyous for your family.

Answer 10

Change what "the holidays" mean to you. You dont need to do what everyone else is doing, just do whatever makes you comforatable and keep giving presents to your kids and watch people enjoy your food