He is one of my guy friends. not BEST guy friends, but a guy friend. He texted me saying "I love you so much. Please go out with me" just a few hours ago. I said "I'll get back to you on that" and he said "I hve all the time in the world for you" he gets mad when my other guy friends talk to me, or call me when we are together. We dont go out on dates, but we walk in the halls together, go to the mall together etc etc. ONLY AS FRIENDS. I dont really like him. Is he being a little obsessive??? What should I say to make him feel good, but is also saying "No i dont really wanna go out with you right now"
2007-12-19 13:23:18 · 35 answers · asked by justagirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG! if he had to text you to ask you out, then dont go out with him .he didnt have the balls to at least at least call you, if not in person. he is a loser. and thats saying a lot coming from me.
2007-12-19 13:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is being a LOT obsessive. The relationship has changed. You didn't want it to change, but it did, because his feelings toward you changed, and you can't control another person's feelings.
However, you can control your actions, and you have to act now. If you really care for him, even as a friend, you won't jerk him around, and going out with him would definitely be doing that.
You need to stop leading him on. You know that when a guy likes a girl, he will see hope and possibility where there isn't any, just because he wants there to be, so much. He is choosing to misinterpret your polite blow offs as hope and possibility. You have to leave him no room for doubt.
Unfortunately, there is no nice way to let a guy down. He is going to be hurt, no matter what you say. Stop being coy, and tell him flat out. Tell him that you feel terrible, because you don't feel the way about him that he feels about you. Don't get into how much you like him and enjoy going out with him, because he will try to turn this into an argument about how, if you just give him a chance, you will learn to love him, too.
To show him how serious you are, you have to tell him that it's better if you two don't hang out together for awhile, go to the mall, or anything that you used to do, because you don't want to lead him on. It's sad, because you are losing a friend and you don't want to lose him; but it is much kinder to cut him off than to give him continued hope with your presence. It is downright cruel to flirt with him, please don't. He needs to get over you and find a real gf. After he does, you two can be friends, again, but separate yourself from him, until then.
2007-12-19 13:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by lighght30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I love you so much. Please go out with me."?
That sounds a bit extreme. And yes, kind of obsessive. Are you guys even old enough to be in love?
He's getting in way over his head, and if you don't help him realize it, it's only going to get worse.
Tell him you care about him a lot and think he's a great guy, but you're not ready to be thinking about love. He shouldn't get mad because it's not like you're choosing another guy over him. If he flips out and keeps acting psycho, then he's obsessive and you need to have someone help you keep this guy away before it turns into a scary situation.
Good luck! And don't feel guilty. By the time you're done with dating and you've settled down, you will have broken MANY hearts. It happens. Guys have to learn that they can't all have us :-)
2007-12-19 13:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Cristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a loser if he gets mad at you for talking to other guys. If he wants a chance with you, then he should respect you and you have the free will to talk to anyone you please. Gives him no right to get mad, you guys are not going out. But you can just tell him that you're not ready for a relationship at the moment and that you need some space, just tell him you guys can still be friends and hang out or whatever.
2007-12-19 13:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, unfortunately, I have experience in this. ;( I am coming out of a relationship with a weirdo...and this person you are describing sounds weirdly possessive...I mean, come on girl, you aren't even boyfriend-girlfriend and he's like this?? This should be a clue. It's flattering if a guy says/shows he's not thrilled when other cuter guys talk with you but if you two aren't even dating, he has no right to think he has any dibs on you, get it?
I believe that if you do not feel any attraction to him in the first place, don't go out with him as that would be seen as maybe leading him on you know? and that's not really nice to do to anyone. on the other hand, if you aren't sure, perhaps you don't know him really well, you know, and one date might let you get to know him and perhaps you might find out things about him that DO make you feel attracted to him, you know? so you have both sides now...I think it's up to you to do what feels right in your heart.
2007-12-19 13:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth, that you only want to be friends. He is being obsessive, but he should respect the fact that you're being honest with him. Of course he won't like it, but it's a lot better than leading him on, and will cause him less pain in the long run.
2007-12-19 13:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound obsessive; this sounds like the guy is rationally bearing his emotions he has for you. Please avoid hurting his feelings and respond back with a simple 'aww that's really sweet but we need to get to know each other more' if there is hope for him, or be mature about it and say 'aww that's really sweet but I like having you just as my friend.' Of course he's still going to feel crushed, but this way you're being as nice as you can.
2007-12-19 13:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him sincerely honestly and kindly that you value his friendship but you have not felt any romantic feelings towards him, so you can't agree to date him.
Be compassionate and sincere. Don't think about whats easier for you to say or what he'd like to hear. Just think about the right thing to do. Maybe tell him what you like in him as a friend, because that might raise his self-esteem.
2007-12-19 13:29:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful about your wording. If you say you dont want to go out "right now" or "yet", then he may think your interested, but need some time. Unless this is the case, say something more about wanting to keep it as a friendship.
2007-12-19 13:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by Zach D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say tell him that your are not interersted because this guy sounds creepy. You don't like him and are not even really that great of friends so he has no right to be so protective. and he tells you he loves you without even going out with you? He's desperate, clingy, over-protective, and creepy...don't tell him all that but just tell him no. If he reacts like a jerk then tell him off
2007-12-19 13:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't go out with him if you dont like him. Big mistake i went out with a guy friend before and it was horrible just tell him you'd feel better just friends and u dont want to ruin your friendship.
2007-12-19 13:27:53 · answer #11 · answered by Nikk. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋