My girlfriend dumped me today by email ... what should I do?

Question

This comes as a shock. She said some very hurtful things to me but also writes that she still wants us to be "friends." She didn't even have the decency to give me a phone call.

Part of me wants to write her back and tell her off, but the other part of me says stay cool and don't reply. Likewise, one of my frieds says I should blow up on her, and another friend says to ignore the email and not respond because then i 'stay in control of the situation'. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Go calmly talk to her in person. Make sure it was her that sent the email. For all you know someone could have stole her account and wrote that message. It's a long shot but if you really care for her then you should give her a chance to explain herself.

Answer 2

I really know what you're going through at this moment because I'd been there myself.

When I receive a breakup by email, it was a total shock and I'd felt no emotions for at least a couple of hours until it all hit me that the person was 'gone'. At that moment I was not only devastated but very pissed off so I gave him a piece of my mind and he never replied back-- I didn't expect him to. But his a** wrote me back months later.

I see what both of your friends is saying, one believe you have the power and shouldn't give any away by responding angrily while the other wants you to blow up.

What you should do is reply back, not in a angry response, you don't want her to know you're in pain, even though you are. Instead just be calm, let her know she should had the decency to break it off in person but thank her for breaking things off since the 'truth' came out with her disrespecting you by saying some hurtful things. Then tell her to have a nice life (even if you don't mean it) If you want to write a angry letter-- make sure not to send it to her and put all your emotions in that letter. Burn it or tear it shreds as she is gone with the letter.

The girl might be surprise at how you handled the breakup and she might even go crazy at the thought you didn't went off on her like she expected it.

One more thing, don't be her friend. A true friend wouldn't talk smack about you so make it known that she can **** off with the whole friendship bullcrap. You deserve better and hopefully the right one will come along.

Answer 3

First of all, don't be this girl's 'friend'.

Second, don't blow up on her.

Third, it'll probably eat you up if you don't reply. I disagree with the people who have already responded telling you not to reply.

By all means reply. Tell her that you will not be her friend and that the way she communicated this to you was not OK.

Address the 'hurtful' things as well - but be careful. If she's calling you on your own stuff such as your bad behavior, you might want to own up to it and have some humility.

If she's just being mean and calling you names or putting you down - well, that's cyber-bullying. I'd call it as such and tell her that you will not tolerate communication like this.

And finally, yes, you will need to disengage from the relationship and not respond if she sends you another email. There is a point where you get up and walk away, I just don't think you're there yet.

However, a reply now will ensure that you've set your boundaries and laid the groundwork for when you do walk away.

Answer 4

Wait a minute this girl did not have the decency to talk to you face to face to finish things when you are supposed to be boyfriend/girlfriend what kind of friend is she going to be?
If i were you i would cooly reply to her mail saying that you thank her for the thought she has put into dumping you by email and that if you were to be friends with her then it may rather be one sided as if that is the way she treats people then maybe being friends isn't such a good idea.
See how she likes that!

Answer 5

Ignoring her might be difficult, especialy when you're hurting from the blow. Best option? Ignore the email.

Like your friend says, if you throw a tantrum at her, you've lost control over the situation. Ignore her, and she'll start wondering why you've not responded. Trust me, it WILL start to eat at her and she'll write back. At that point you will have probably calmed down enough, and then you should tell her -- POLITELY -- that you're not interested in having anything to do with her, maturely wish her all the best, and say good-bye.

Plenty of fish in the sea, and you deserve someone better.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Do not respond to this email. You have the upper hand this way and your pride intact.
If you do reply and "blow her out", she'll feel justified for dumping you. Best leave it be, your silence will infuriate her more than an abusive answer. As for friendship.......forget it. Good luck, hope you find another girlfriend soon.

Answer 7

i think that's really mean off her doing it by email, i think the only to breake up with someone is to there face, but i think that you should move on, shes not worth it, and i would stay cool about it, and when you get a new girlfriend rub it in her face or something

Answer 8

If she didn't even have the decency to finish with in person then she is obviously a coward. If I were you I would except it and if she tries to get in touch I would ignore her, she blatantly doesn't deserve you or your friendship.

Answer 9

Where'd you find such a well mannered woman? I know it is difficult, but forget her like yesterday's news. Most girls won't dump the current boyfriend until they've hooked up with someone else (they never want to be without someone, even if they don't like them)...so you're probably history.

Answer 10

I don't think people break up over the email out of the blue. You should talk to her in person if she really meant it. If she did break up with you, walk away and don't look back.