it feels like my mother goes out of her way to not follow any rules i set for my 3 yr old daughter. i dont know what her problem is, other than being a passive-aggressive control freak, but i'm ready to tell her off, again. help?
2007-12-19 12:41:52 · 5 answers · asked by herbmom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband's mother did the same thing with my stepdaughter. Unfortunately, my husband did nothing about it for years. Now, my stepdaughter is 14, has serious authority isses and plays people against each other constantly. My mother-in-law's behavior also degraded so severely over the years that my husband now has nothing to do with her.
You must nip this one in the bud - now. Your child will become confused as to who has the real authority in their life. The issues will grow as well, and for example, will no longer be about bathtime but will instead be about grown up issues such as dating and relationships.
You must view what your mother is doing as undermining your authority. A babysitter, daycare provider, etc. has to respect you and follow your rules with your child. Your mother should be no different.
Also, look to yourself, if your just going to unload on Mom 'again' and it didn't do anything in the past, why do you expect it to make a difference now? Your just a big barking dog without any teeth to her.
You need to take some actions with your mom, set some consequences, and if she doesn't respect you - you need to follow through on those consequences as well.
2007-12-19 12:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kristin V 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kristin.
Perhaps you should go to therapy or counseling so a trained professional can give you tips on how to handle your mother.
Grandmothers usually think they know it all because they have more experience; but limits should be set for your kid's sake.
2007-12-19 15:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This same thing happened to me with my father in law. I finally had to sit down and have a long talk with him. It has gotten better, but there are times he lapses back into his behavior. Moms are a little harder. But you have to be firm with her. Good Luck.
2007-12-19 12:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Green Eyed Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you are the parent and if she will not follow the rules and guidelines you have set, you will restrict her visitation with her. Follow through with it.
2007-12-19 12:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by sweetrhymez21 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
grandmothers don't listen to their daughters, so you might as well face it...
same thing happened to me.
take care.
2007-12-19 12:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋