My neighbour's an anti-LDS...?

Question

how do i exactly deal with people like her? she says bad things about the missionaries, and about the church. i believe she knows that i am a member of the church as she has seen me before with other fellow saints who she once knew, but she acts nice towards me, which is a bit odd. from what i have heard from members, she used to attend sacrament meetings before, and left because she wasn't given a calling (she always wanted to be a choir soloist). but she wasn't even baptised! and now she acts really nice and all, giving nice little presents to my mum (who's not a member of the church).

one time, she went to our house and asked if whe can watch the videos she hired in our house, and i declined because i needed to work early the next day, and so i had to hit the sack pronto. but at the back of my mind, i was thinking "this lady hates the church, and she expects me to let her in?" i feel so guilty, but i really don't like people who says bad things about the church when they dont even know much about it?

acquaintances (plural) tell us that as much as possible, try not to be 'close' with her cos she can be a bit clingy and dependent, and when she doesnt get what she wants, she does something bad, like make all the clothes hanging in your clothesline filthy, or something to that effect. and we see how she treats her mum, she shouts at her, and curses her, and i don't like that.

erm...so much for love thy neighbour eh?

she also has a mental illness which she pretty much handles well with medications i guess. and i am a student nurse, i shouldn't be biased and all. but still....

ludwig - fair enough. i guess i just consider the church my family that eveytime someone says lies about it, i feel bad.

forever young - it wasn't said in a gossipy way. but i agree. i will never know what she has been through

senator - it's a tough life being a saint ain't it? you have to try your hardest being a nice neighbour and a good example despite whatever people do or say against you. a you are right. i just need to be more accepting of people i guess. being a recent convert, i consider that to be one of the toughest challenges i need to overcome.

paula - i sure will take my concerns with the Lord. thanks for the advice

LOL odd duck...no i won't. that's the last thing on my mind :) but that was a brill idea, baking brownies and giving it to her, except that i am microwave- compatible hah, but yeah, i get your drift. cheers.

thank's y'all for the posts...i realised how my view of her was greatly influenced by how others see her. yeah, she has some flaws (shouting at her mum), but no one is perfect, i have done some pretty dodgy stuff myself as well. to be able to see the good in others, those who say something bad, or lies, about the people and things i love, is something that i need to learn.

Answer 1

I know!!! Bake her a pan of brownies and take it to her just because. Do that a few times a month, just to let her know that you are thinking about her. Maybe a few times, take someone from the church with you. Not to teach or to push her, but just so she gets used to the face.

It doesn't have to be about the church itself, but about loving your neighbor, and showing her that you are a good person, and the church is ok. Maybe during one of these times, she will let you know why she has a problem with the church.

I would also pray for her. Maybe pray that something will soften her heart a little, or that she will see the good in people, instead of the bad.

Other then that, don't try to make her mad.. ;)

Answer 2

I like odd duck's suggestion about baking her something. Maybe you could take her a plate of food over at supper time, or buy some baked goodies and take them over in a friendship plate. Since she has brought your Mother stuff, it would be polite to take her a gift as well. One time my neighbor brought me a plate of food one day, and I returned the plate with some Oreo's in it. It allowed us to have a reason to knock on each other's door and get to know one another better.
Your example and willingness to be nice to her will speak volumes to her about the church and the type of people the church attracts. Forget about the stuff you've heard and rely solely on your own experiences with her. It sounds like she is really nice and wants to be a good neighbor to you. Let her. And reciprocate the offer as well.

Answer 3

I think she is mad because some people want to chose their calling, maybe she wanted to be a choit soloist, I say this because I went thru this in my church choir, I wanted to be a soloist, in the choir, but never got to and it was kind of getting to me, until God said that if he wanted to, he could pickmy voice out of all the voices in the choir and listen to it anytime he wanted to, kind of like a solo, and I had to settle for that, I finally had to leave the choir because I went to night school, but I could have let this desire to sing alone eat away at me, and I think this is what this lady has done, it happened to me in the mormon church to, all the popular people got to sing in groups in church and I never did at a sacrament meeting, because I was never popular. I would just lead by example, but don't give her special treatment, because her problem is with herself, her inability to forgive the fact that she can't have what she wants...to be a soloist. Treat her like you would as a missionary, but as I said this women just needs to forgive what she cannot have.
I am not sure why she is always giving your mom prsents though.

Answer 4

My best advice is stay away from her. Answer her questions about the church, if they are dirct. Speak if spoken to directly. But avoid spending time together. If she seems to hang around. Ask @ church if the missionaries or a visiting teacher could drop by to visit her. That way she either has to get w/ the church if she's asking you about it.Or she needs to leave the church and everybody alone. Pray for her, as hard as that may be. I'm sorry to hear your plight. But she sounds miserable,unfortunately, as well.

Answer 5

Keep in mind a lot of people can be really mean on some subjects and really nice on others. Most of us just aren't all good or all bad.

You can be a good neighbor, be friendly about secular things, and kindly express that you don't want to discuss the subject of religion with her if that ever comes up. Just say something like that's one of those subjects we just have to agree to disagree on, and then move on to another topic.

If she's relentless about tearing down your faith even with your expressed wish not to discuss it - that's when it would be appropriate to set boundaries about not letting her into your home.

good luck

Answer 6

I have found one lesson the most handy in being a member of the LDS Church and dealing with people that really upset me for one reason or another.

Pray for her.

When I pray for those that I feel have wronged me, and sincerely pray for the ability to see and love them the way our Heavenly Father does, my heart is always softened towards that person and it makes it SO much easier to be loving and kind towards them.

Charity is the pure love of Christ. Just try to remember she is also a daughter of God and He wants you to love her as much as you love your fellow members at church.

Answer 7

Many Antis tend to focus on well worn canards about the church. If we argue, we can't hope to change their hearts. Where there is contention the Holy Ghost cannot abide. Only the Holy Ghost can testify of the truth.

So I suggest that you read up on D&C 121 about how to deal with those who may fall away.

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

Answer 8

The best way to deal with people like that is to be true to your beliefs, and treat her (and everyone else) in a Christ-like way. Your positive example will teach her more about Mormons (and Mormonism) than anything you could say to try and convince her.

Answer 9

You never know what she had gone through - and aren't you and the 'other' members gossiping?

I can just hear it at church get togethers.
"Oh she used to attend sacriments all the time and then quit because she she wasn't given a calling. I mean why should she be called, she hasn't even been baptized."

"No! She wasn't baptized?"

"No and now she's acting like we've done something to her."

"That just isn't right...."

Answer 10

Teach her about the church by the kind of life you live. That is the best way....