How to handle a snarky co-worker...?

Question

I have a co-worker who is relatively new to the department. She makes a lot of mistakes and when she is corrected she acts snotty and then talks about you behind your back to a friend she has in our business. My boss knows her behavior and is going to talk to her about it, but I think her snarkiness (I know, not a real word, but I love it...) will get worse along with her attitude and snotty remarks. I try to get along with everyone in the dept even though there are those who I would not hang out with outside of work and I do a good job. I actually tend to make close friends with my co-workers, so I can't be that bad! I just hate the high school stuff she is pulling. I am way past that (but by no means old!) She sent an email about me to me instead of her friend so I got to see what she says. Just called me a name and tried to start a crappy conversation with her friend. How do I put her in her place?

Thanks, guys. This is helpful. I guess I don't really want revenge, I just want her to stop her crap, you know. I showed the boss the email (my boss is very good about going to her about stuff). She was not happy with the co-worker and was part of the conversation the co-worker had tried to start stuff about and didn't get why the co-worker would try this, either....I hated high school! I don't want to go back!

Answer 1

I hate situations like this, if she's set on being this way it's hard to do much to change her. My best advise would be to continue being pleasant and do not let on that her behavior is affecting you. After all, she does it for a response, or in order to gain back some of the control which she loses when she is corrected for her incompetency.

The thing a vicious gossiper hates most is feeling as if her target could care less! You're much better at your job than she is. I would also stop correcting or helping her (as long as this doesn't directly impact your work) and leave that for the boss. That way if she wants to react by being a ***** to her/him she'll reap the repercussions!

Answer 2

You can't put someone like that in their place. She will eventually hang herself. She did not accidentally send the Email to the wrong person. She wanted you to see it and wanted a reaction. Leave her alone. She sounds like a very angry person. The high school stuff never leaves. If her friend has told you guys that she is talking about you and any one else, is she really a friend? I don't think you will ever work in a place where you will want to hang out with everyone there. Just ignore her and take the high road. She will disappear and you will still be there if you want to be.

Answer 3

Either do not look at her when she does that or tell her about the issue. You cannot control her actions. Compliment her on being so nice and other things that you like about her. Express confidence in her that she can make the right decision--I must warn you that if you are going to compliment her be sincere or she will see right through it and she will probably see you as being manipulative and your relationship could be much worse as a result of the conversation. If this conversation results in negative communication, your situation will be much worse than it is right now. If this is a fear of yours, just accept her for who she is and be glad you are not working with someone who is mean to you. If you negotiate a way to help you both deal with the issue. If she wants to go to the bathroom or some other remote location out of your presence before doing something like that, then both of you could be satisfied.

Answer 4

no one really likes to be told what they did was wrong maybe she is un aware of it!
you did good by talking to your boss what you can do after that is if you have to correct her on anything just be nice and point out something good to end with not to start
example
well i hate to tell you but this is incorrect however i really like that report you did more over your opening line that was classic!
then walk away don't wait for a responce leave her with her problems for her self to deal with!

most people tend to take things they do personally I know i did and i use to be mean to people who said i did something or i would cry.. once i seen this it stopped but i didn't see and one person told me but agian i thougth they were just out to get me! more so at a new job your trying to prove yourself and it's hard to do when you screw things up! but what she needs to knw is that she is human and humans screw up it's how you react to it that makes you a more professional person!

Answer 5

Just say "I heard that you have been saying things about me and I would appreciate it if you just kept my name out of your mouth because it is very cowardly and rude to go behind people's back and talk negativity about them. In return I will do the same and not mention you in my conversations. Also please appreciate the fact that when we correct you we are doing it to help you, not make you feel dumb or stupid. Thank you".

Simple...if she keeps it up maybe the whole department needs to shame her. When people shame others in numbers the person is less likely to continue with their bad behavior because people care what their peers are saying about them.
Good luck.

Answer 6

You don't, that would lower you, to her level. I would provide the boss, that email tho, and tell her/him that you can't believe how some people, waste company time with personal emails. She sounds like she's very insecure, and covering her insecurity with bad behavior and arrogance. She will self destruct sooner or later. Just stick to your job and standards, and try to ignore her and her nasty ways.

(I use the word snarky too)

Answer 7

If you are sure your boss is aware of the situation,then I think you should take the high road and ignore her behavior. She will self destruct without any help from you

Answer 8

if your boss talks to her and she still doesnt change i would tell her ( or email her , or send her this anomynously) " look , we are all a team and we need to all do our jobs. We are just trying to help you to understand your responisibilities, it doesnt help us when you respond with rudeness. You may think we are picking on you because you are new, but thats not the case. Please act more responsible."
Hopefully she will listen.

Answer 9

Just ignore it and rise above it. You'll look much more professional and competent for doing so. Putting her in her place will just take you down to her level.

Answer 10

I didn't read your whole story but my advise is kill em with kindness. Be the better person and do it with a smile on your face.