She came over to our apartment to visit him while I was out for the day and later the next day he mentioned that she had watered my ficus because it was dry. I told him that I had rescued it from my mother who was overwatering it and that it has been doing just fine on my watering schedule for over a year. It's leaves fall off and the soil gets a mold on it if it gets too much water. He said that she use to have ficuses and knows what she is doing, but that was when she lived in the desert and she has now moved to a much different climate and has killed a few of her own plants I might add.
I don't mean to sound like a psycho plant owner or someone who wants to create drama but she is (in my opinion) very overbearing and tries to take over in my house. When she first moved here she turned up the chill in my fridge and everything froze. Our food hadn't been spoiling, she just always thinks she knows better than me. I need feedback, good or bad. Advice, you can even insult me just say it
2007-12-19 11:56:32 · 16 answers · asked by BLANK 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Even though the plant situation was a little much I completely get where you're coming from. There is a line that should not be crossed by your boyfriends parents and yours. Parents esp. moms will always think they know more than you and they can do things better its just what they do but they should not impose themselves in your house and your life. I wouldnt make a big deal about the plant but if she is crossing her limits then you need to tell your boyfriend this is both of your house and it should be run the way YOU guys want it to and that you dont think his mother should try to change things. With that said I'm pretty sure shes just trying to help and doesnt see what shes doing is irritating you so dont take it too far.
2007-12-19 15:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by manda1210 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if it was just the ficus then you are over reacting a bit, but if there are other things then you are probably justified. Just keep in mind that if you are serious about her son then you are going to have to find a way to put up with her. I don't know how you can get her to back off, that type of person wouldn't listen if you tried to talk to her. The only thing I can say is to try and find a way to not let it get to you, because if she knows how it bothers you she might try harder just to annoy you.
2007-12-19 20:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by luckygirl_2021 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have bigger problems than plants. It sounds like mommy does not let her little boy go. It's time you talk to your bf and tell him, you are the woman in your home. In her home she can do what ever she likes. If this is someone you plan on marrying, remember you marry the family as well. Take charge now. Speaking from experience. Good Luck
2007-12-19 20:05:19 · answer #3 · answered by clever girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are a little sensitive like so many of us. Try to ignore petty stuff. I know its hard to do but try very hard. Is she nice to you otherwise. Sometimes older people think that the younger can use their help. She is making herself at home.
Yes, do not fight with the inlaws. Infact take her out shopping and spend some time with her, she will just love you for this. Try not to be suspicious of her, you are not even married yet.
2007-12-19 20:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by observer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be mad about this. How would she react if you went to her place and just took over and made her feel that she's not capable of taking care of her things? Since she's the plant "expert" why doesn't she just get her own and leave yours alone?
2007-12-19 20:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could let her know that, while you appreciate her efforts, you'd rather take care of things around your own home, but if you need help you will ask for some.
And if all else fails, go to her house and rearrange her furniture, turn up her refrigerator, drown all her plants!
2007-12-19 20:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got a problem. You have a mominlaw that needs boundries and a hubby lacking balls. Best solution, change the locks and instruct hubby that under no circumstance is he to give the key to mom. He needs to take care of you and your needs and kick mom to the back seat.
2007-12-19 20:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are paying for this place and she was a guest? I suppose I would consider the intent which was to help. Also I would consider that your boyfriend is on her side which may in future years be a huge problem for you so maybe its good you arent already married.
2007-12-19 20:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how pathetic or you. really. watering plants and turning up the fridge isn't over bearing. You just dont like her, so your making yourself sound really bad by bitching about something like this. I feel sorry for the BF
2007-12-19 20:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill. This is your boyfriend's mom, and you are getting mad because she was trying to be helpful? If I were your boyfriend, I would run screaming. Just think what kind of hell he is gong to be going through if you ever get married!
2007-12-19 22:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋