My boyfriend says extremely nasty and ugly things to me, what is going on ?

Question

My boyfriend of 3 months keeps telling me that i am his bi***, his cu***, his who***, his sl**, etc........ out of the blue, for no reason, when we are watching television. As our relationship goes on, he calls me degrading names like this more and more often, and for no reason, even though he is not even angry.

He also told me that his mother is a f**** bi*****, what is going on with this man ?

I am 35 years old and he is 43.

please help me, i need answers from both men and women

Answer 1

He just jokin with you.

Answer 2

You are kidding ! Right ? 35 years old and you let another person disrespect you like that . Wake up. Any one of these disgusting words and he should fly out the door first time said . The way a man treats his mother that's the way he treats all women .
So now you have to wonder no more and you know what is going on . He is a useless, foul mouthed individual that you hopefully will kick out pronto .

Answer 3

everything is going wrong with this pathetic excuse of a man... let me tell you something a "man" who talks bad about his mother (no matter what the mom has done) deserves no woman in his life...
Even though his insults might have started as a joke, you've noticed they've become part of your relationship's daily basis, and they're obviously bothering you and you should end that situation now.. Confront him (without accusing him at first), and tell him how much you despise his words.. show him a dictionary and tell him to find nicer words to treat you and refer to you.. if he doesn't understand.. the consequences are in your hands.. Good Luck to you! and make him respect you and your feelings.. c'mon is only 3 months you've been dating and already insults!!

Answer 4

Well, it doesn't take Dr. Phil to figure this guy out.... he's obviously insecure about something in his life and he makes himself feel better by saying horrible things to you.

I know that's a weird analogy, but people who are miserable make themselves feel better by making others feel bad about themselves.

The worse off he makes you feel, the better and more "pumped up" he feels about himself. It's a total control thing.

Of course, if you stay with him, it just shows that you, too, are insecure and need to have some sort of validation from someone - whether good or bad validation - it's an attention thing. Most people wouldn't put up with this sort of verbal abuse, but those that are co-dependent do because it's attention from the person that they love. And, most abusers do what they do because they "love" the person that they abuse -- at least that's what they tell the person.

My advice to you is to remove yourself from this relationship. At 43 years old, he should know that treating a woman like this isn't going to lead to anything long-term. I suspect that he's either never been married or that he's divorced because he treated his wife (or previous wives) like this and they finally decided that they weren't putting up with it anymore. Makes you wonder why he's still single at 43 and hasn't been in a til-death-do-you-part marriage for 20 years.....

If there's bad language now, just think what you have to look forward to if you stay with him! Physical abuse, mental abuse, verble abuse.... sounds like fun, huh?

Get out.

Answer 5

Woah! What a jerk.
I could understand if he was just joking for one night and he was sixteen or seventeen, but - all the time at 43? That's really messed up!

I would immediately take action! Confront him, and if that doesn't work, and I hate to say it, threaten him. It's probably the only way that will work. i.e. :
"Hi Josh (idk his name), I need to talk to you."
"Yes?"
"Well I am really concerned about our relationship. You've been calling me names and I don't really get what's going on. What's up?"
"You're my whor* so shut the f'n hell up you bit**!"
"If you keep on doing this I'm going to leave you. Mature and then we can talk."
~And then walk away. Your other alternitive is just to walk out on the relationship, but if I were you I would confront him pronto. Something is definitely wrong, and obviously he can't vent because he's using all of these odd defense mechanisms.

Keep me posted! :D
[e-mail]

Answer 6

At 43, i think he has some issue's. I doubt that he is joking. And there probably is no way he is going to change. Only 3 months into the relationship i think it is time to move on before it possibly turns into other types of violence.

Answer 7

He obviously has little respect for women so you will have to ask him to stop saying things like that. Give him a month (don't tell him he is on a time limit - just keep that to yourself). If he manages to behave himself in that time then I would say he is making an effort and respecting your wishes. My guess is he wont last that long - he has issues that you can't sort...it may have to be a kiss off.

Answer 8

Your boyfriend has no respect for woman! There's a saying it goes something like this" you can tell a man has respect for women by the way he treats his mother" If a man has issues and no respect for his mom and treats her like crap, he will do the same to any woman that comes into his life. Dump him and find a man who will treat you with respect you deserve, never settle for less.

Answer 9

There is something about a male having a close relationship with a female which lowers the usual social inhibitions forced upon us by society.Being able to trash talk probably isn't a sign a disrespect but rather a feeling that he can speak with you in a most unhibited way.
Suggestion, if you really don't like it, just start using filthy talk with him (I'm sure you have an idea what to say).He'll either be turned on (probably not since it diminishes your lady like qualities) or get the point that sweeter more traditional love talk is appreciated.

Answer 10

RUN!!!! My goodness at his age talking like a teeneger. He sounds very imature and very troubled. No one should ever talk toa woman like that. if you stick around iot will only get worse. Wow, he is troubled indeed and needs some help. Suggestion, move on and find a man that will respect you. I always ask myself would I want my daughter or neice etc treated that way?? Would you?

Answer 11

Leave the relationship. Doesn't matter what's going on with him. Could be a number of things. No one deserves to be called names. You need to get out before it leads to something worse.